Monday, April 24, 2006

I Know Why I Don't Have Sympathy For The Mentally Challenged!

Now lets not get our panties in a twist because I seem to be mean or unsympathetic to the retarded population, but let me tell you some things that might help explain. I live on a really great street, mostly old folks and a few younger families. I know the majority of my neighbors and can have a quick and polite conversation without annoying me or inconveniencing me in any way.

The neighbors to my south have three foster children (all mentally challenged). I know they are foster children because the adults are black and the kids are white (Children of the Corn - WHITE)! The boy (name unknown) likes to play baseball and football with himself. It is actually quite amusing. Hut hut hut....HIIIIIKKEEEE! Run boy run! TOUCHDOWN! And the winner is.....big surprise....the boy's team...or the boy I mean, since team would indicate more than 1. I actually rather enjoy the boy, he is quiet, clean, cordial, nice and keeps to himself. He never steps foot on our lawn, never throws his balls in our yard, has yet to break a window and is not that scared of our ferocious beagles as they bound down the stairs for potty.

The two girls....are another story.

Crystal and Linda drive me absolutely insane. The common gangway we share is also known as the echo tunnel. They find it necessary to scream at each other, "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Now imagine that echo in your best retard voice...makes it so much worse. My favorite thing about my Children of the Corn neighbors is that they like to play beauty pageant and runway show. Now they are not the most striking girls I have seen, and they could stand to loose 20 - 30 pounds (not that I am one to talk...but I don't play beauty pageant). Their signature walk leaves much to be desired and their running commentary and line of questions for the "intelligence" portion is very entertaining. I use to feel bad that I laughed at them and that I purposefully let the ferocious beagles "attack" them (the dogs are actually afraid of them now...they do not look normal...they don't look retarded either, but there is enough evidence to support my retard label).

Now to why I have no sympathy...

Their bedroom window is across the echo tunnel from ours. They NEVER sleep (I am not exaggerating - they NEVER sleep). They like to sing to popular hits such as Brittany Spears, Kelly Clarkson (they have ruined her for me), Sean Paul, Usher, Nick Cannon, Pink, Ciara, Beyonce, and other female and male vocalists that like high notes. Needless to say, at 1 in the morning listening to the Children of the Corn belt out, "Hit Me Baby One More Time" in their best Speddy Eddy voices leaves me angry and unsympathetic to the mentally challenged cause. I know I should blame the foster family for not making them keep the noise level down or putting them in cages so they sleep, but somehow, its the girls that take the brunt of my anger. They are harmless and all around good girls, but I cannot take another summer of the singing.

As I look back at what I have wrote, I am starting to feel a little bad because that was harsh...but then again...they should realize that people sleep at 1 am and that their singing does not produce relaxing lullabies.


Jeanette said...

I did post something but obviously this shit fuck isn't working right. My point from earlier was don't feel bad. Even though the parents obviously don't care about their speddy eddies (hehe), it doesn't mean everyone else should have to deal with it. My favorite part of summer is their jump roping. F.Y.I. to all those who don't already know how jump roping works - one girl swill sit on the steps swinging the jumprope while the other one stands on the sidewalk jumping (all the while being nowhere near the actual jumprope).

Jenny! said...

The jump rope story is by far my favorite...I pray when I see them playing outside that it will happen hasn't yet...but I am still hopeful!

Jeanette said...

Baseball is fun too when one of them is playing pitcher, batter and outfield.