Thursday, December 28, 2006

My Little Addict

Don and I have a severe addiction to Starbucks that can't be cured. Our son, Donovan, is an addict in training. Don't get the wrong idea, we don't serve him caffeinated beverages, but we do allow him to taste something new if he so chooses. He really really enjoys the Iced Carmel Macchiato (Dad's choice drink). It has gotten to the point where he recognizes the signature green straws. He will beg and beg and beg for a sip until we give him some. We only allow him a sip at most because we don't want a super short hairy son.

Yesterday, at Target we got Starbucks before shopping. While I was loading the cart with a case of water, Donovan drank about half of my coffee (a venti of course). About 45 minutes later the boy could not have been wilder. He was a nut job, goofy as hell, and wired! I was so nervous that he wasn't going to be able to sleep last night because of all the caffeine, but luckily enough, he wore himself down and fell asleep like a little angel.

Tribute To Nixon's VP

Another President buried, Gerald Ford died at age 93 on December 26th. He was the 38th President and the 1st first Vice President chosen under the terms of the Twenty-fifth Amendment and succeeded the 1st president ever to resign, Nixon. Although, I don't view Ford as one of our "Greatest Presidents Ever", he was a great man with integrity and a good heart. Ford's library was, um, boring, when I visited several years ago, but much better than Carter's library (there was more information on his peanut farming days than on his Presidency).

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Wow...I Can't Believe It's Over!

Donovan's new activity table filled with lots of fun books! He adores this table!
Donovan with his new awesome fire truck and police car...the ambulance is not in the picture! He loves these loud and bright toys like it's the best thing since sliced bread.

I know that I say this every year, but seriously, I can't believe Christmas is over already. Donovan got so many toys, books and clothes that I don't know where to put it all. He is truly spoiled rotten. He had a great time, but those two days managed to wipe him out! I am looking forward to getting back to our regular schedule and routine, without the holiday traffic, crazy lines at the store and crab ass people.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry Christmas Bloggers!

Merry Christmas to my readers and their family and friends!

I hope everyone has a very happy and safe Christmas!

Christmas Card Rejects!

Since last years Christmas Card Rejects post was such a hit...lets do it again this year. Donovan tried so hard to be a cute little boy for Christmas pictures, but didn't quite get it right. He was so patient, but silly and I was so proud of how hard he really tried by listening and following directions very well. We got a lot of really really adorable pictures of him, but below are a few of the rejects that make me smile and realize how much I really really love my goof ball son, but couldn't cut it on our Christmas cards.

Do I have any bats in the belfry mom???
Okay, I'm does it look?

My tonsils are even cute!

Mom, you lied to me...there are bats in the belfry!

If I keep making faces like this, can we be done now???

Friday, December 22, 2006

Bank Bitch

I went to the bank today to do a deposit for work and came across a situation that got me quite hot (as in angry...not turned on...pervs)! I am accustomed to the shitty customer service that we receive at the bank our company uses (unfortunately we have no control in picking banks) but today took the cake...

I pull up to the drive-thru and wait and wait and wait and wait. No problem, there was a good song on the radio and I wasn't in a rush and as I said before, this is what I expected. About 3 minutes after I pull up, my favorite teller (she's a hot mess and must suck a lot of dick b/c you can smell the skank oozing off of her) comes to the window and this is what went down...

Bitch: "You should have hit the call button!"

Me: "Oh, I didn't know there was one at this window."

Bitch: "Yeah, it's right there!"

Me: "Thanks"

Bitch: "Use it next time!"

Me: "Okay, thanks...I'm not in a rush so it's no big deal."

Bitch: "Well we can't always see LITTLE cars and then you won't have to wait forever!!!"

Me: "Okay! Do you want my deposit now?"

Bitch: "I'm just telling you about the button so next time you don't have to wait forever if we don't see you!"

Me: "Can I give you the deposit so that I can get going? Or, are we going to waste another 5 minutes highlighting your incompetence?"

Bitch: "Just hit the button next time....Please!"

Me: "This button!!!" As I pushed down on the button and held down for a long long time!

Bitch: "Can I have your deposit now?"

Me: "Can you open the drawer so I can put it in?

Bitch: "Oh!"

Me: "Thank you!"

Bitch: "You are welcome!"

I was so frustrated with her, and I feel very childish pushing the button down like that, but seriously, it seemed like that was what she wanted! I can't wait to see what next weeks deposit has in store for's a good thing they don't serve food, because that bitch would for sure shit in it!

Fiach Flushed!

Fiach was a good fish, he never complained or jumped out of his bowl. He kept us company, shared our laughs and our sorrows. He was a great little fish. Fiach lived a long and happy life, full of food and fun. The end was hard for Fiach, he struggled and suffered...but his suffereing, no more, for he has gone to the big bowl in the sky. Fiach's body is now free of pain and his heart will live on in Fish Heaven. Fiach came to me while in the bathroom, he told me that his new home is sweet! He has fresh water 24-7, he gets to eat when he wants and what he wants, he gets to change his pebbles and plants daily (based on his mood) and has two female companions that won't beat his ass. Fiach is so happy there!
This is the common room in Fish Heaven, where Fiach can meet new friends and have a drink!
Fiach also got full use of his beautiful fins back...doesn't he look stunning!
Here is Fiach with his two female companions, Pearl and Star.

We will miss you Fiach!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Christmas Is Back On!

I found my new Christmas craft and I am very excited about it! Christmas is officially back on!

I also met Santa Clause today, he is a large chain smoking man that smells of vodka! I met him while taking a break at work and he was jolly as anything and everything I didn't imagine him to be! It was also very exciting!
To all my blog readers...Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Why I Hate Christmas Presents!

I am very disenchanted with Christmas coming up. In an attempt to keep a low budget (we don't actually have a budget...just don't want to spend alot) for Christmas presents, we decided that we are going to make and decorate gingerbread ornaments. I know that I shouldn't have waited this long to start the process, but seriously this is a pain in my ass. The recipe that we are using is incredibly simple, but very frustrating. The recipe calls for 3/4 cup of applesauce and 4 ounces of cinnamon. I think this kind of project is geared toward patient people because I was frustrated after one batch. First of all, that much cinnamon gave me a headache because the scent was so damn strong, second, the dough was impossible to work with and every little gingerbread man either lost an arm, leg or head (they look more like war vets than cutesie Christmas men). Once you roll the dough and place your cutout ornaments on a cookie sheet to dry for 1-2 days you are set to decorate. The problem is that it has been 3 days and they are still not dry and they look worse every day. I think I am going to officially scrap this plan and cancel Christmas. Every other year the craft projects we have done have turned out really cute, but this year I must have over-estimated my patience and craftiness.

Monday, December 18, 2006

When Darkness Falls ... A Hero ... Will Ride!

We went on a double date to see Eragon on Friday. The theater was packed...with 10-14 year old boys and I was kind of suprised. I didn't think that this was going to be a kids/teenage movie but it was rated PG (Rated PG for fantasy violence, intense battle sequences and some frightening images). It seemed a little violent (no blood) but there were battle/fight scenes that didn't seem appropriate for young kids.

I really liked the movie, although I heard that the book was much better (not shocking since most movie adaptations are not as good as the book). I actually cried during the movie..shut up...I know...I'm weird, but what can I say...I cried at Superman too! The only thing I truly didn't enjoy about the movie was the voice of the dragon (Rachel Weisz) because it wasn't commanding enough to portray a dragon. I was impressed with the story line because the writer of the book was only 15...kind of amazing imagination kid! Not impressed, however, that Avril Lavigne recorded the theme song for the movie.
I can't wait to see the rest of the trilogy!

I Love Mexican!

So, most of you know, my fiance is Mexican and I absolutely love Mexican food! We went to Grandma Taco's (that's what we call her) house yesterday for lunch and it was fantastic...probably her best cooking yet. Donovan ate migas (not sure how to spell) which is scrambled eggs mixed with corn tortilla and we had burritos/tacos...depending on how much food you stuffed into the tortilla. G'ma Taco makes the most fantastico tortillas and salsa. I love Mexicans and their food. Jeanette and I are also going to get Ino's for lunch today!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Zoo Magic

We went to Holiday Magic at the Brookfield Zoo again this year. It was...kind of like last year! We went early so parking wasn't an issue and we left just after 5pm so it was dark enough to enjoy the lights. I couldn't believe the amount of people there, with little kids. It is pretty dark except for the display lights and it would be really hard to find a little rug rat that ran off. The animals were depressing like last year, they all look so sad and bored. I know that these animals have been at the zoo for years and they are use to the season changes, but seriously...they make me sad. Since we went with my aunt and my mom, we had to stop at every gift shop. Donovan got to stuff his own monkey at one store (kind of like Build-a-Bear, but cooler) named Chuckles (yes, we will be renaming him b/c Chuckles is just a creepy name). We were going to see Santa but the line was extremely long and you weren't allowed to bring strollers in so holding a squirming almost two year old was the last on my list of things to do. We did see Santa driving up in a golf cart (the vehicle of choice when the reindeer are hung over) and Donovan threw up his hands in disgust...good thing we didn't wait in line.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Cool Crop Circles

I love crop circles, I think they are so cool. I don't care if aliens designed them or if rednecks did, they are truly artistic. I know that there is a lot of controversy surrounding crop circles and people are analyzing and over-analyzing the origin and design, but I just like to look at them and think that their amazing.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Get DCFS Up In Her Ass!!!

On the radio this morning, Jeanette and I heard that DCFS was investigating Brittany Spears because of her recent behavior. Brittany was scene getting into her car (drivers seat) with a glass of wine. How wildly inappropriate, not just because she's a mother, but because that is just not right. I would bet money that Brittany and Paris are doing the nasty after the long nights of clubbing. They look like a couple of dime bag whores waiting for their next John outside of Washington Mutual Bank. I hope DCFS takes her kids away, and I pray that they don't give K-Fed custody!

In other news, what is the deal with Brit's boobs??? I know she has a young son and milk production is happening, but I have a hard time believing that she would be breastfeeding since her boobs are not removable for the nanny to use. There was a picture of her boob that looked freaky...I will try to find it. No such luck, it was some nasty looking boob job though. Looking at the pictures above, two them were taking the same day since they are wearing the same outfits, but Brit's boobs are like totally different.

Maybe, I should start worring about something else other than Brit's boobs and the welfare of her children!

I Won't Have To Wait Long...

CariDee and Amanda's shoot in the water as fairies. CariDee's Cover Girl photo shoot picture.
Melrose and Eugena's dual photo shoot as ethereal fairies.
Melrose with her ghetto wig.
Melrose's final Cover Girl photo...notice how they took off all of her moles!

Great news...CariDee was named America's Next Top Model last night and I couldn't be happier. Although, I loved Melrose's pictures (her personality left much to be desired) I am glad that CariDee pulled it off. Melrose by far out performed the rest of the girls on their photoshoots, but CariDee's winning funky personality won her the crown.
The British version will be premiering next Wednesday at 7pm. I am so excited for BNTM (Britain's Next Top Model)!

One Ring To Rule Them All!

After watching Clerks II, it reminded me of how close I am to becoming a D & D dork-a-zoid. I absolutely love both trilogies (The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars) and wouldn't be able to choose one over the other. Lucas fucked up Episode 1, 2 and 3 so that doesn't count when I talk about Star Wars. Don and I watched the first two Rings movies and will be watching The Return of the King tonight after Survivor. I don't usually think of myself as a huge nerd-o, but when I blog about how much I love "The" Trilogies, I embarrass myself.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I Hate To Love It!

eminem - Shake That

I am not a feminist by any means, however; Eminem has time and time again offered nothing but degrading hits. I absolutley love this song, but hate the message that it sends. I am not the biggest fan of Rap, Hip Hop and RB and I am not a supporter of woman bashing, but this song has got such a beat...and Nate voice is sexy. I think its disgusting that music artists (if you can even call Eminem that) can get away with talking about women like this. These rappers are not setting a good example for young boys growing up in todays world (I didn't actually have to say that because that seems fairly obvious, however, we don't stop this kind of behavior). Marshall is not going to be so pleased when someone treats/talks about Hallie like this song...I think he might just bust a cap! I wish Eminem would think about his daughter when he's writing these songs or about young kids everywhere that are listening to his music! All that said...I still can't stop listening to this song!

Here are the lyrics (I have italicized and bolded the lines that shock me):

(intro - eminem )shady, aftermath there she goes shaking that ass on the floor bumpin and grindin that pole the way she's grindin that pole i think i'm losing control

(verse 1 - eminem)get buzzed, get drunk, get crunked, get fuucked up hit the strip club don't forget once get your dick rubbed get fucked, get sucked, get wasted, shit faceted pasted, blasted, puke drink up, get a new the bathroom sink, throw up wipe your shoe clean, got a routine knowin still got a few chunks on your shoestring knowin i was dehydrated till the beat vibrated i was revibed as soon as this b is gyrated and hips and licked them lips and that was it i had to get nate dogg and his sing some shit

(verse 2 - nate dogg)two to the one from the one to the three i like good pussy and i like good trees smoke so much weed you wouldn't beleive and i get more ass than a toilet seat three to the one from the one to the three i met a bad bitch last night in the d let me tell you how i made her leave with me conversation and hennessey i've been to the mutha fuckin mountain top heard mutha fuckers talk, seen and dropped if i ain't got a weapon i'm a pick up a rock and when i bust yo ass i'ma continue to rock getcha ass off the wall with your two left feet it's real easy just follow the beat don't let that fine girl pass you byye look real close cause strobe lights blind

(verse 3 - nate dogg)we bout to have a party (turn the music up)let's get it started (go head shake your butt) i'm lookin for a girl with a body and a sexy strut wanna get it poppin baby step right up some girls they act retarded some girls are bout it bout it i'm lookin for a girl that will do whatever the fuck i say everday she be givin it up

(chorus - nate dogg) shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me come on girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me ohh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for mec ome on girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me

(verse 4 - eminem) i'm a menace, a dentist, an oral hygentist open your mouth for about four or five minutes take a little bit of this flouride ?? swish but don't spit it, swallow and i'll finish yeah me and nate d-o double g looking for a couple bitches with some double d's pop a little champagne and a couple e's slip it in her bubbuly, we finna finna have a party

(verse 5 - nate dogg) have a party (turn the music up) let's get it started (go head shake your butt) i'm lookin for a girl i can fuck in my hummer truck apple bottom jeans and a big ol butt??some girls they act retardeds some girls are bout it bout it i want a bitch that sit at the crib with no panties on knows that she can't but she won't say no now look at this lady all in front of me, sexy as can be tonight i want a slut, will you be mine?i heard you was freaky from a friend of mine

(bridge - eminem)i'ma hope you don't get mad at me but i told nate you was a freak he said he wants a slut, hope you don't mind i told him that you like it from behind

(chorus - nate dogg)shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me cmon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me ohh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me cmon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me we bout' to have a party (turn the music up)let's get it started (go ahead shake that butt)i'm lookin for a girl with a body and a sexy strut wanna get it poppin baby step right upsome girls they act retarded some girls are bout it bout it i'm lookin for a girl that will do whatever the fuck i say everday she be givin it up

outro - eminem)there she goes, shaking that ass on the floor bumpin and grindin that pole the way she's grindin that pole i think i'm losing control god, come one(eminem makes noises)i ain't leavin' without you bitch come here home with me ample boy, and his boy, and this boy, and this gurl haha, they call(deep breathing)

My Favorite Tranny!

I have been totally obsessed with Fergie lately, can't get enough of Fergilicious! It is the most fantastic song in the world. Now, Fergie's body may be banging, but look at the man bones on that face and the alien type shape of that trannies head!

T - to the A - to the S - T - E - Y girl your tasty!

P.S. If you look closely at the picture ou can see nipple...which is quite small considering her breast size...maybe those are man nipples on implants!?!

The Boss Man - Check Out Bill's Blog at!

Random Hatred

* I hate when people want to control everything even though their ideas are not as good as someone elses. Maybe this is because I am also a control freak and can't stand people telling me what to do and how to do it, especially when I am right or have a better idea.

* I hate that everybody is making fun of Brittany and her lack of underwear. It is not a crime to go commando and I regularly take part. I hate wearing underwear and probably flash people once in a while, the only difference is that I don't have cameras following me everywhere. There's nothing wrong with a free show now and again.

* I hate that it has become acceptable for stores to charge $78.00 for a pair of sweatpants. I went to Victoria Secret with my sister this weekend and she was about to buy a pair of VS Pink sweatpants. I literally had a break down in the middle of VS. I am outraged by this. Who the fuck woulds spend $78.00 on a pair of fucking sweatpants??? Ridiculous!!!

* I hate when people think I have a bad attitude purely because I call people "dumb bitch" or "fucking idiot". I don't call people these names because I have a bad attitude, I call people these names because it is me calling it as I see it.

* I hate that people don't shovel their sidewalks after the snow. It turns into an ice slick the next day and if your walking on the sidewalk (weird, pedestrians aren't supposed to walk in the street) you just about bust your shit every other step.

*** There are so many other things that I hate, but those are just a few of the most recent annoyances!!! Enjoy!!!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Snow Boy!

It's cold...I wanna go inside now!!!
Wow...this is slippery!
Hi Dad! My hands cold...I don't think it was a good idea to take my glove it off anymore...can I have yours???
I love snow!!!

Donovan loved the snow, which surprised me because getting his snow gear on was less than desirable. He wouldn't stand up or walk in his boots, didn't want anything to do with his hat and gloves and kept kicking us with his boots while we were getting his coat on. As soon as he hit the snow, he was like a totally different child - couldn't be happier, in fact, didn't want to go back in!