Monday, April 30, 2007

Bong Table and Hot Guys!

lt looks like exquisite marble, but the Bong table is made of mere plastic — a feat of technology harnessed by Italian design maestro Giulio Cappellini. The round coffee table at the Salone in Milan gets its white Carrara marblelike good looks from a sophisticated chemical process.
Can someone explain to me why it is named "the Bong"??? And what kind of technological "feat" are we harnessing here? It is plastic...right?!? Maybe I am just ignorant to the importance of this table and the impact that it will have on society.

Special forces of the German police are seen on a helicopter during a training session over Frankfurt, Germany.
These guys are bad ass...I want to do that...or rather have sex with the ones who do that!

Friday, April 27, 2007

Bored and Paid

I have been kind of a psycho lately with the blogging. My new job has given me lots and lots of time to blog, peruse the Internet, and stalk my email. I have been told that this is the "slow" time of the year at The Firm and that we will be busy soon. I have also been told that if there isn't any work to do, do whatever you want, just make sure those phones are, you must mean the two or three calls that come in every day? So, I sit here getting paid (decently) for blogging, listening to music and obsessively commenting and re-commenting. I have to apologize to those of you who have fallen victim to my obsessive commenting! I wish everyone had a job like mine so we could comment back and forth all day long! It gets lonely and boring here, so please blog more people!

This One's For Don!

Hawking in zero gravity in this handout photo provided by Zero Gravity Corp., astrophysicist Stephen Hawking floats on a zero-gravity jet, Thursday. The modified jet carrying Hawking, a handful of his physicians and nurses and dozens of others first flew up to 24,000 feet over the Atlantic Ocean off Florida. Nurses lifted Hawking and carried him to the front of the jet, where they placed him on his back atop a special foam pillow. The plane made a total of eight parabolic dips, including two during which Hawking made two weightless flips like "a gold-medal gymnast," said Peter Diamandis, chairman of Zero Gravity Corp., the company that owns the jet. Doesn't Hawking kind of look like Robin Williams???

Art My Ass!

Swiss artist Jean-Frederic Schnyder's artwork "Waegeli" (little push chairs) is pictured in the museum for contemporary art in Basel, Switzerland, on April 27. Are you kidding me...that's art! I have a really hard time swallowing some of the "contemporary art" that we place in museums. Yeah, that's art...the art of being a crazy ass time waster!

They're Totally Gonna Do It!

Sen. Barack Obama, left, shares a laugh with Sen. Hilary Clinton, prior to the start of the '08 Democratic presidential primary debate hosted by the South Carolina State University. There seems to be a lot of sexual tension here, I think Bill might get his wish (oh, wait...he wishes for her death, not her adultery)!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Holding Hands In The City

Something that I have noticed the last few weeks while I have been out and about in the city is that couples hold hands while walking. Now it's not like I have never seen this happen before, but EVERYONE does it. Is there a rule for the city of Chicago that if you are a couple and walking on a public sidewalk, you MUST hold hands. It becomes very frustrating for non-hand holding people because the sidewalks are only so big and the hand holders tend to walk slower than the rest of us non-hand holders. It is really really annoying being stuck behind them. I have also noticed that they seem vicious. If you walk to close to "their" man you get an evil glare and they grab hold of "their" man tightly and pull them in close. Now listen sugar, I DON'T want your man, I WANT to walk across the street! Ease up a bit Chicago couples (specifically women), no wonder your "man" doesn't want to hit it every night with you, but opts for shooting pool with the girls at the Admiral and spankin' it later!

Funny Pics!

Can't think of anything to write about today, so here are a few pictures that I found entertaining!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Are My Boobs Hanging Out???

Today was an odd day. It's not like this has never happened to me before, but three men totally hit on me today.

The first was early this morning on my train ride to work. I got off the "L" and started walking to work, someone tapped on my shoulder, I turn around, it's a big black man (big as in buff, not beefy). He asked me if I had a couple of minutes to chat, I said, "Um, what?" I am not the nicest person to strangers and don't really like to be sidetracked by stupid people asking stupid questions. He was like, "Well, I just had to talk to you. I noticed you on the train but it was too loud to talk to you. I missed my stop just so I could come talk to you." I was like, "Oh, well, sorry you missed your stop for nothing, but I am not available or interested." He was like, "So, does that mean I won't get your phone number?" Me, "Yeah!" Him, "Can't we just be friends?" Me, "That is obviously not what you want and I am aware of your ulterior motives, so NO!" He then preceded to tell me that I have the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen and he takes my hand and kisses it. I told him that I have to go, and I washed my hands with hand sanitizer as soon as I was around the next corner. I also checked to make sure that he wasn't following me.

The next guy is one of the doormen in my building, who totally eye raped my chest and winked at me. Later in the day, he followed me outside and asked if he could take me out sometime...Um, NO!

The third was some pervy looking old guy on the elevator going up to my floor, who asked me, "Are you single?" I responded, "Um, NO!" He was like, "Well, if you ever become single, look me up!" Me, "Yeah, okay!?"

Now, I wasn't wearing anything very revealing or showy today, you would have thought that I was wearing nothing but pasties and a g-string, so I am not quite sure what all the fuss is about. I seriously thought that my tits were hanging out or my vagina was on display.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

White House 2008

As the election approaches, I find myself pondering the choices! This election is going to be a tough one for me, because no one stands out as a leader. I am not happy with any of the choices. I would like to know what everyone else is thinking about the candidates.

Joseph Biden
Hillary Clinton
Christopher Dodd
John Edwards
Mike Gravel
Dennis Kucinich
Barack Obama
Bill Richardson

Monday, April 23, 2007

Concert Ramblings

I went to the Christina Aguilar concert on Saturday night and was not impressed (sorry J-Dawg). The first opening act was Danity Kane, who sucked it up the butt! I have never heard five girls sound like dying cows on stage. I never watched the show on MTV so I have no connection to them. It was a sorry sight, I could have gotten up there with my girls and performed better (well, except for the cute little outfits with the "banging" bodies in them). The next act was The Pussycat Dolls. Now I went to the concert thinking that I was going to take a nap during their act or just stand outside and smoke, but seriously they were AWESOME! I now consider myself an honorary Pussy! Those girls have the tightest bodies I have ever seen. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, moves on them when they dance. There are 6 Pussies total and it appears that 5 of them are completely useless except for the dancing they do. They work their sweet tight asses off on the stage, I bet they slept real good that night! If it wasn't for the fact that they look like trannies in the face, I would totally turn into a carpet muncher! So, anyway, I guess I should put my boner away and get to the main attractions. I like Christina, don't love her like J-Dawg, but she's okay. I have to say that her Dirty Tour was a much better show. I guess I like my girls "Dirty", not all classy and shit. I am tired of going to concerts and feeling like I am going to a Broadway production. I miss the days when there weren't all the props and costume changes. X-Tina actually had a circus set for a portion of the concert, I was shocked that it didn't smell like elephant shit and nasty kids in there. I wish performers would just have a concert and sing, a little dancing is okay, but nothing staged and choreographed. Tickets are so damn expensive and if you want a souvenir forget it, it would be cheaper to buy a life time supply of blow jobs from the hooker down the street. I miss the olden days of cheap tickets, no fuss and muss and just the artist and his/her music.

Friday, April 06, 2007

My New Job!

I have officially completed my 1st week at my new job. I love it! I am working at a law firm in Chicago and there are so many benefits compared to my previous employer. I am being placed where I was hoping and couldn't be more excited to get in there and clean my desk. The person that has been working that desk is a complete pig (she is great and all, but seriously....does your keyboard have to be so slick that my fingers slide off the keys and the phone has to smell like beef???)! I feel like a "big" girl working in the city! I can't wait to share stories about nasty people that I observe on the "L". The pictures above are of my building. My desk is on the 45th floor on the South side. I am lucky enough to have a window desk that has an amazing view of downtown Chicago. The only down side is that walking across the river is HELL...the wind is so fierce that I can barely hold on to my bag, let alone my breath! When people refer to Chicago as "The Windy City" I always get a little annoyed, but now that I have to walk is so fricking true!