Thursday, May 31, 2007

Grilling Season!

Mom wants to eat what???

Goats do it. Rats do it.

The Nevada woman wanted to eat her child’s placenta after birth, the hospital refused to return the organ on the grounds that it contains blood and might carry infectious disease. Though mammals ingest the placenta, the disposable sac that transfers oxygen and nutrients from the mother to the baby and removes waste, humans are a bit more discriminating. Those who do eat it generally believe it has medicinal properties such as helping with postpartum depression.

The woman planned to have her placenta dried, ground into a powder and packed into capsules.

After a baby is born, a woman’s hormonal level plunges, which can lead to a serious mood crash. The belief is that the nutrient-rich placenta, which contains the hormones progesterone and estrogen, can help alleviate symptoms of depression. The problem is that like any other body part, placentas contain a lot of blood which can carry infectious diseases such as HIV and hepatitis.

I’m not the least bit tempted to dine on the blood filled sac!

But I do think if you want your placenta, for whatever reason, you should be able to have it. There are no laws barring hospitals from providing placentas to patients and if Swanson doesn’t have HIV or hepatitis, what’s the risk? This seems utterly disgusting, but to each their own, right???

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Hand Over The Chili Sauce, Bitch!

A Wendy's restaurant manager almost lost his life to a disgruntled customer.

The cause?

Chili sauce.

The shooter wanted more of this highly addictive and delicious sauce. As the man picked up his meal, he told the Wendy's drive thru worker that he wanted extra chili sauce, "I foshizzel needs me somez dat chil saus, bitch." When he didn't get his sauce right away, he began arguing, "Wendyz be full of rasis mufukas!" Then, when he did get his sauce, he wanted more, "You cheap ass mufucka, whyz you gots to beez skimpin my ass, white devil, keepin me wayz from my chili." The attendant told him restaurant policy prohibits a customer getting more than three packets, "Sir, a human just doesn't need to consume that much chili sauce! You will have fire coming out of your ass within the hour!" The customer insisted on 10, "I'z be gotten 4 burgers an som dat chili n be needz mo den dat". The worker complied, "Just shut the fuck up and take the fucking 10 chili sauce packets, you cunt", but the customer continued arguing, "Dam bitch, bess be stepping off my shit!" The worker asked the customer to pull up so the manager could come out and speak with him, "Sir? Could you pull the fuck out of my face and go talk to that greasy dickhole that makes me give you only 3 packets of chili so that we can save 8 cents." The manager came out to inform him of company policy, and he was shot several times. I have never had the opportunity to taste Wendy's chili sauce, but it must be the most wonderful sauce in the world! What is chili sauce anyway??? I know Wendy's has chili, but what would the need for chili sauce be? Is that like hot sauce, but fancier???

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

More Billboard Shit!

Some residents are up in arms over a billboard advertising a local spa and cosmetic surgeon.

One woman said, "I was shocked, I was offended as a woman, angered as a mother and embarrassed as a resident of Glenview." She also said, "It doesn't represent us as people whose beauty emanates from within, I'm a mother, a wife, a member of the PTA, and this is an affront to everything I work for and try to instill in my children."


"I am a fat piece of jealous shit that would look like a beached whale if I were laying on the beach like that. All those Greenpeace people would try to save me! Think of my husband, he should not be shown that kind of attractive female specimen, he may be tempted to touch himself !"

The salon owner will not be bringing down the billboard and said, "You know what? My next billboard is going to be of a 300-pound woman and it will say, 'Could you help me please? Then everyone would be after me saying, 'My son is traumatized because you showed me a fat woman.' You can never win!"

Good for him for standing his ground!

I Smell Something Burning!

A South Korean protester burns a North Korean flag during an anti-North Korea rally. It doesn't look like the flag is the only thing that this bastard's burning! Maybe people should stick to making signs of protest instead of burning flags...all flag burners should be drowned (it would be more ironic that way) no matter what country's flag they are burning!

Weekend Recap and Other Junk!

Memorial Day weekend was a really really long weekend for me. I haven't had a true three-day weekend since I can remember. I always worked Saturdays so just having two days was a treat...but with three days...oh, man...did I not want to work today. I could totally do the mom stay at home thing. Don was out just about all weekend, I think he slept at home on Saturday and was home for a total of 6 hours, that is about it. I felt like a single mom and it was lonely. Donovan and I had a great time, we went shopping, planted flowers and herbs and did A LOT of reading - If I have to read one more book about trucks, I will just die! We also had a plumbing nightmare with the bathtub, I found out that I don't know how to use a plunger correctly - who would have thought that there was a right and a wrong way to plunge!

I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End on Saturday and found it mildly entertaining. I really enjoy the movies but I don't get a massive boner or anything over them like Sarah does. I have to say that at the end of the movie, Orlando Bloom shocks the shit out of me and is actually hot! Like hot hot! Weird!

Can someone explain to me what would poses someone to not shower regularly? People just smell fucking bad - can they not smell themselves??? Especially, now that it is a bit hotter out, riding the L has been a nasal nightmare. I have had to sit on the train holding my nose and looking like a creep, moving to only be next to another person with intolerable BO. I have a sensitive gag reflex for nasty smells and I am sure that one morning I am going to spew on someone, and when they get pissed at me for spraying them with chunks of vomit, I am going to (politely) tell them, "Now will you take a shower?"

The picture above is Riyo Mori, Miss Japan 2007, after winning the Miss Universe 2007 pageant! I wonder if her talent was demonstrating different techniques of DVDA???

Friday, May 25, 2007

Salad Dressing With A Side Of Semen

A judge has ordered a 17-year-old to pay a $750 fine and perform 120 hours of community service for contaminating salad dressing with semen and returning it to a suburban Chicago high school's cafeteria. DuPage County Judge Terence Sheen also placed Marco Castro on two years probation Wednesday and ordered him to write a letter of apology to Wheaton North High School officials. Castro must complete his community service work for an agency that works with AIDS patients. Sheen called the prank "beyond stupid." "If you prove to me you're worthy of another chance, in two years, then I will give it to you," Sheen said. Castro pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in connection with the Dec. 6 incident. He admitted taking a bottle of ranch salad dressing from the school cafeteria to the bathroom and ejaculating into it, and then returning it to the cafeteria where juniors and seniors eat lunch. Students reported Castro, and the senior was expelled from Wheaton North. There were no reported cases of illness following the incident. Castro told police he thought of the prank after watching a movie filled with crude stunts. "I have no explanation for what I did," Castro said in court. "I felt bad after I did it. "Harry Smith, Castro's attorney, noted that the teen already had been punished, including missing the end of his senior year and humiliating himself and his family. "It has not been without consequences," Smith said.
*** Okay, that's not cool, but so funny!

The Blame Game

The father of Josh Hancock filed suit Thursday against a restaurant, towing company and stalled car driver, claiming a restaurant provided drinks to the St. Louis Cardinals relief pitcher even though he was intoxicated prior to the crash that killed him.

Mike Shannon's Restaurant, owned by the longtime Cardinals broadcaster who starred on three World Series teams in the 1960s, is a defendant in the case along with Shannon's daughter, the restaurant manager. Other defendants include Eddie's Towing, the company whose flatbed tow truck was struck by Hancock's sport utility vehicle; tow truck driver Jacob Edward Hargrove; and Justin Tolar, the driver whose stalled car on Interstate 64 was being assisted by Hargrove.

Authorities said the 29-year pitcher had a blood content of nearly twice the legal limit for alcohol in his system when he crashed into the back of the tow truck. He was also speeding, using a cell phone and wasn't wearing a seat belt. Marijuana was found in the SUV.

Hancock went to Shannon's after the Cardinals played a day game against the Chicago Cubs on April 28. The lawsuit claimed that Hancock was a regular at the restaurant bar and was there for more than 31/2 hours. "It's understood that for the entire 3 1/2 hours that Josh Hancock was there that he was handed drinks," a lawyer for Dean Hancock said. "It's our understanding that from the moment Josh Hancock entered Mike Shannon's that night that he was never without a drink."

The lawsuit claimed Tolar was negligent in allowing his Geo Prism to reach the point where it stalled on the highway, and for failing to move it out of the way of oncoming traffic. A police report said the Prism became stalled when it spun out after being cut off by another vehicle. Police said Hargrove (tow truck driver) noticed the stalled vehicle and stopped to help. The report said he told officers he was there five to seven minutes before his truck was hit by Hancock's SUV. But Kantack said the tow truck may have been there up to 15 minutes, yet failed to get the stalled vehicle out of the way. "Were the police contacted?" Kantack asked. "Why weren't flares put out? Why was the tow truck there for an exorbitant amount of time?"

Dean Hancock said in a statement that the "facts and circumstances" of Josh's death "have caused great pain to all of Josh's family." As administrator of his son's estate, Dean Hancock said he has an obligation to represent the family on all issues, "including any legal actions necessary against those who contributed to the untimely and unnecessary death."

*** So, let me get this straight...Josh Hancock was drunk, driving his car, talking on his cell phone, speeding, possibly smokin' up, plowed into a tow truck and now his father is suing everyone else! Let's talk briefly about taking responsibility for your actions. Josh paid the consequences with his life, but really it should be his father who dies a very miserable death! I cannot believe this bullshit! I cannot believe that there are lawyers who would take this's such a crock of shit. Your son was a drunk that took his own life by driving and now you are blaming everyone else for his mistakes! If I was one of the people named in this lawsuit I would probably end up serving time for beating Josh's dad to a bloody pulp!

I'm Sick Of These Motha Fuckin Snakes On This Motha Fuckin Plane!

Customs officers at Cairo's airport detained a man going to Saudi Arabia who was trying to smuggle 700 live snakes on a plane. The officers were stunned when a passenger told them it contained live snakes after he was asked to open the bag.
He opened his bag to show the snakes to the police and asked the officers not to come close. Among the snakes, hidden in small cloth sacks, were two poisonous cobras. The Egyptian said he had hoped to sell the snakes in Saudi Arabia. Police confiscated the snakes and turned him over to the prosecutor's office, accusing him of violating export laws and endangering the lives of other passengers. According to the customs officials, the man claimed the snakes are wanted by Saudis who display them in glass jars in shops, keep them as pets or sell them to research centers. The value of the snakes was not know.
As cheesy as this post is, I am seriously dying from laughter...I just can't help it, I crack myself up!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Donovan Pics!

I have been feeling a bit guilty since I haven't posted pictures of Donovan in a while.

My little swimmer. He has always loved water which has been pretty nice because bath time is actually fun...not torture. He's a Pisces so of course he loves water! Below is a picture of my Pisces tattoo for Donovan, on the opposite side of my ankle is my Leo tattoo.
Enjoying Shrek 2 and getting annoyed that mom is in his face with the camera demanding he smile and say cheese.
He looks nothing like me...except for his toes!
This is the face that we have named Darth Maul...he does this on command and it can be quite entertaining when in public. I say, "Do your Darth Maul face!" and he gets this ugly mug on and starts snorting...don't know where the snorting came from!
And more Darth Maul! - this is the link to my post of Donovan in his Chewbacca Halloween Costume!

Apocalypto 1/2 Review

Mel Gibson's Apocalypto came out on DVD yesterday. Don and I started watching it last night, but since I am a buzz kill (I like to go to bed before midnight), I only watched the first hour. So far it is very violent but intriguing. I hate watching movies that depict severe, cold hearted violence against children. Since I became a mother those types movie situations have really bothered me and just about bring me to tears when watching. You can kill all the men and woman you want in movies, but the babies just really get to me. Especially when the children in the movie remind me of Donovan. The little boy that is the son of the main character is just like my boy, and then I can't help but think of what I would do in a situation like this...I would definitely try to bust out a can of whoop ass, but that just seem futile against warriors. Good thing I don't live in an ancient Mayan village!
The movie depicts the very violent story of the Mayans. It has subtitles, which I don't like, but it actually makes the movie much better. There is a lot of blood and graphic violence and the one Mayan warrior (pictured below) is really really make me wet my pants creepy!
The opening scene is a group of young men out on the hunt and they enjoy some comical banter which at first I thought was very inaccurate for the movie, but what do I know...I wasn't there during that time period and even if I was I would have been back at the hut with 12 children sucking at the tit. The jokes that they made seemed like what a group of jocks now a days would say to each other if they were hunting tapir. But I guess ball jokes are timeless and even the Mayans thought it was funny!
I can't wait to finish it...I think I will enjoy!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Bleed No More!

The Food and Drug Administration on Tuesday approved the first birth control pill that completely eliminates a woman's monthly period. Taken daily, the pill, called Lybrel, continuously administers slightly lower doses of the same hormones in many standard birth control pills to constantly suppress menstruation. This will be the first and only oral contraceptive designed to be taken 365 days a year, allowing women to put their periods on hold. Studies showed Lybrel is as effective at preventing pregnancy as standard birth control pills and completely suppresses menstruation for many women within the first year, although some women experience sporadic bleeding.

The pill's approval was welcomed by birth control advocates for providing women with another option. "Every woman's birth control needs are different, and the best methods are those that fit a woman's lifestyle and meet her needs," Planned Parenthood Federation of America.

Critics questioned whether enough research had been done to be sure it is safe to suppress menstruation long term. "There may be important health consequences that we don't know about," said an endocrinology researcher. "I don't think we understand everything that the menstrual cycle does well enough to say with confidence that you can abolish it and not have any consequences." Others criticized the pill for fueling biases and misconceptions about menstruation. "It perpetuates a lot of negative attitudes and taboos about menstruation -- that it's something that's bothersome and dirty and debilitating and shameful."

The FDA said there is no evidence of any long-term risks and that suppressing the menstrual cycle can have many benefits, especially for women who are plagued by cramps, bloating and mood swings.

Others said menstrual suppression could actually have some health benefits. For eons, women had few periods because they were either pregnant or breast-feeding for most of their reproductive lives. "We weren't supposed to have 13 natural periods year after year after year," said an obstetrician-gynecologist. "We as a society have already changed what nature intended for us."

The pill isn't for everyone, the FDA said. About half the women enrolled in studies of Lybrel dropped out, many because of irregular and unscheduled bleeding and spotting that can replace scheduled menstruation. Because women taking Lybrel may not know if they are pregnant, the FDA said women taking it should undergo pregnancy tests regularly.

I know my girl Sarah will have some things to say about this. In my layman's opinion it doesn't seem right not to menstruate. And of course we don't know long term effects because we haven't study it "long" term - one year doesn't count. There is also increased risk of certain cancers when taking birth control so will the risks be even higher from taking hormones everyday? I just think it's unnatural to not have a period. Maybe this will be the first step to change the evolutionary cycle and will allow men to bear children!

What do you think???

Got Skillz???

Special forces' got skillz...Belarus special forces soldiers demonstrate their ability to break concrete slates with their foreheads, at the opening of the the 4th international exhibition of arms and military hardware, the Milex 2007, in Minsk, Belarus. Are these guys fighting in Iraq...because they should be! Let a bunch of them loose in Taliban territory and I think we may be good to move out in a few weeks!

Ocean's Thirteen & Meat

Ocean's Thirteen is coming soon, not that I am so excited about the movie, but wanted to take the opportunity to post pictures of Brad Pitt. Doesn't he look so much better without the hag and kids??? I think so!
Meat...doesn't that look great??? I want some meat!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


I have never had the privilege of seeing an uncircumcised penis in person, pictures yes, in the flesh no! I assumed that most (meaning like 95% of men were circumcised) but I was way off. When my son was born it was a no-brainer for us, he was going to be cut. I don't regret it and I would do it again for the next one too. But there seems to be a declining trend in circumcision which I was totally not aware of.

The rate of U.S. babies being circumcised before leaving the hospital has gone from 85% in 1965 to only 57% in 2004. In the Midwest, 80% of boys are circumcised compared with 59% in the South and 32% in the West.

Wow, that is crazy! I really assumed that everyone had their son's circumcised. Is circumcision a form of genital mutilation? In Africa, woman have their vagina's sewn together to ensure virgin marriages, and that is just disgusting, but are we doing the same thing to boys by cutting off their foreskin? What is the purpose of foreskin anyway? Since I am a Midwesterner, most of our boys are cut, but in the South, just under 1/3 are. I know that there are medical reasons to circumcise because of infection, but at the same time it is a seemingly unnecessary cosmetic surgery that were are putting the baby boys through that risks infection anyway.

Just curious what everyone's opinion on circumcision is!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Wicked Weekend!

Friday night I went (finally) to see Wicked with my mom and aunt. It was absolutely amazing, there are no words to describe how awesome Wicked was! Maybe I will be cheesy and say (I am sure you've heard it before) that Wicked was wicked! We decided to go out to dinner before hand and my mom and aunt picked Bennigan's, now I like Bennigan's and all, but really out of all the places to eat in Chicago, we picked Bennigan's??? I was a bit disappointed, but nonetheless it was a great meal. Our waiter was dumber than my left pinky finger, but he was handsome so my mom and aunt decided that it was okay to flirt with him. I, however; was put off by his stupidity and he had the nerve to card, I am with two old horny ladies, I think I am old enough to drink...thanks! It was a good time!

So, back to Wicked...the cast was amazing and since I have dorky show-choir friends, I already knew the words to the songs! I was so tempted to sing along, because that is what I like to do, but I resisted the urge and kept to myself. When I was like 3 or 4, I watched The Wizard of Oz for the 1st time and I cried when the witch melted...I liked her and felt sorry for her...and now I know that my tears were justifiable and acceptable! I was not an evil cold rotten bitch at the age of 3, I was just really in tune with Elphaba's upsetting past! I knew she was good at heart! Elphaba by far out shined the rest of the cast with her amazing voice! The set was amazing overall one of my favorite plays by far, along with Phantom of the Opera, Mama Mia and Rent.

Wicked is at the Oriental Theatre which is one of the most beautiful theatres with a very ornate Oriental theme. After the play let out and we were being herded towards the door a few older woman were talking about how the play was awful and the singing sounded more like, "screeching and screaming". They also said that Glinda (aka Galinda) was too "bubbly" and "annoying". Um, hello, did you not catch on to the fact that she was supposed to be that way??? Dumb old people piss me off!

(Dee Roscioli - Elphaba)

I was going to buy the soundtrack but I am stingy and decided I would get it later because $20.00 was too much. And then on Saturday, I was like, "fuck...I really need to sing Wicked!" So, I headed to Target and found it on sale for $9.99 - what a deal! It is the original Broadway cast versions, so I don't like it as much as the cast from Chicago, but it will do!

I would really like to read the book, so I am hoping Sarah will let me borrow it!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Why I Hate Clowns

A professional clown was ordered to stand trial Friday on sexual assault and battery charges. Ronald E. Schroeder, who performs as Silly the Clown, is being tried on 32 counts, including two counts of second-degree sexual assault of an unconscious victim, 27 counts of capturing an image of nudity, illegally accessing computer data, battery and possession of a switchblade. A child pornography charge will be added from findings on his personal computer.

The domestic violence charge alleges Schroeder threw a woman against a wall and stuck his fingers up the her nostrils "until her nose started to bleed." The sexual assault charges accuse him of assaulting the woman after she passed out after a night out. They also accuse Schroeder of taking numerous pictures of her while she was nude and passed out and while he was sexually assaulting her.

I hate clowns, the Easter Bunny, Santa and any other character dressed up as a perv! I never want them sticking their fingers up my nose...I know it's not funny (well kind of) but why the fuck would someone stick their fingers in someone else's nose???

How Much?

Meet the Tiffany Novo, their newest design, a dazzling creation of spirit, fire and style! The things I could do with that kind of money!!!

Crosstown Classic

Fuck, I hate baseball season! I come from a family who is obsessed with baseball. My father is an asshole Soxs fan and my mom is a over-the-top stuck up Cubs fan. My sister Maggie is a Yankees fan (she thinks Jeter is hot) and my other sister Emily is a Cardinals fan. I have opted to just not like baseball. I can't stand the constant trash talking back and forth about Cubs vs. Sox, who has the better park, bitch this and moan that. I avoid my family as much as possible during baseball season. I do like to go to the games because you can eat ballpark hot dogs, drink beer and watch people get all angry - I don't care who wins as long as it is a Chicago team, even then I don't actually care. So this weekend is the Crosstown Classic which means the Sox play the Cubs and the whole fucking city divides and makes a big stink about it....get over it already!

Enough Already

Jerry Seinfeld is dressed as a bee during a publicity stunt for the film "Bee Movie." Why can't Jerry just go away. I never thought the TV show Seinfeld was funny, I never understood why people flocked over him like he was God's gift to comedy, I just don't get Seinfeld! He is so annoying, I hate his grating, whiny voice. Am I the only person that feels this way???

Thursday, May 17, 2007

New Campaign Song

I voted for Hillary Clinton!!!


I voted for Hillary's campaign song. Hillary has decided to let the voters decide her new theme song for her Presidential campaign.
There are no write-ins, which is a bummer.
Vote Now! (Official Site)

Here are the songs I picked for Hillary's campaign:

"All I need is a miracle" by Mike & the Mechanics
"Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Aguilera
"Ain't Too Proud To Beg" by The Temptations
"All Screwed Up" by ACDC
"Armageddon" by Def Leppard
"Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen
"Ballbreaker" by ACDC
"Big Balls" by ACDC
"Black Magic Woman" by Santana
"Boys Don't Cry" by The Cure
"Damned" by ACDC
"Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones
"Dragon Attack" by Queen
"Everybody Wants To Rule The World" by Tears for Fears
"Fool Fool Fool" by Elivs Presley
"Hell on Earth" by Motorhead
"I Want Your Sex" by George Michael
"I'm Your Man" by WHAM!
"In My Dreams" by Dokken
"Maneater" by Daryl Hall & John Oates
"Never" by Heart
"Rescue Me" by Aretha Franklin
"Rock Bottome" by Eminem
"Run Like Hell" by Pink Floyd
"She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals
"SOS" by Rihanna
"Tears In Heaven" by Eric Clapton
"That'll Be The Day" by Buddy Holiday
"Under My Skin" by Frank Sinatra
"When The Children Cry" by White Lion
"Your Wildest Dreams" By The Moody Blues

Do you have any good songs for Hillary???


America's Next Top Model ended last night...sad sad sad! I love the show but was kind of disappointed in the end. I didn't love any of the girls this season and the closest one for me to love was Renee - 2nd runner up....damnit! Jaslene won and I am only semi-happy about this. Basically, I wanted anyone to win but Natasha! I fucking hated that girl with a passion.

Jaslene is good for high couture fashion and "fierce" photos, but as far as Cover Girl goes, she just doesn't have it. She also can't speak well...she sounds like a deaf chick with a ghetto accent. It is awful and Cover Girl would be stupid to air her commercials.

I do prefer Jaslene over...

The fucking stupidest girl in ANTM history. She is a cute, sweet Russian girl purchased by an American man with a small dick and a big wallet. English is her 2nd language so she had no clue what was going on, couldn't follow directions and acted like everything was praise when it was really criticism. The judges thought she had a great spirit and nice features...I agree she is a pretty girl, but she is so fucking slow. Her "great spirit" comes from lack of understanding. She looks life a fucking monkey without professional make-up and hair. I could not stand her, and either could the girls on the show...and NO it is NOT jealousy! Yes, she is a pretty girl, but fuck me, she is frustrating! Go try out for Russia's Next Top Model! And stop trying to dignify the fact that you were a mail-order-bride...that ain't classy honey!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Would You Like Ganga With That?

A 17 year old McDonald's employee is facing drug charges after hiding marijuana in a Happy Meal. Ottawa Police Chief said a man and his three children went through a McDonald's drive-through Monday to order Happy Meals. One of the children, an 8-year-old girl, found a lighter, pipe, and bag of marijuana in her Happy Meal. Her father went to the police. Brandon Scott of Ottawa, was arrested and charged with possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia, thanks to the help of the McDonald's owners.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Two In The Pink - One In The Stink

Here's a picture from last Friday's Girls Night Out for Ashley's birthday! Visit Sarah's blog for a few more pics! From left to right: Jeanette, Me, Sarah and Ashley! We are also displaying our new gang sign (Ashley's is a little "spaced" she may have one extra hole, we will need to explore more)! I do think that the man at the table over enjoyed our sign though!

Sex Toys Banned

Sherri Williams, the owner of adult stores in Alabama, stands before the U.S. Supreme Court. She is asking the court to throw out a state ban on selling sex toys, calling it an unconstitutional intrusion into the bedroom. This is just insane, how can the government ban sex toys. The ban is not just for twisted sex toys like the one used in the movie Seven, but it is banning dildos, vibrators and other sex toy products. Courts are upholding the ban as constitutional and saying "the state's interest in preserving and promoting public morality provides a rational basis for the challenged statute." Alabama is one of a handful of states, including Texas and Georgia, with laws restricting sales of sex toys. The Alabama "anti-obscenity" law bans the sale of sex toys but not their possession. Can the government worry about other things besides sex toys; perhaps gun control, education, drunk driving, gang violence, unemployment, health care, and multiple other "big" problems in the United States. We spend so much time and money on trivial bullshit while our children are receiving piss-poor schooling and are being gunned down by gang-bangers. Ugh!

Leonard Pitts on Paris Hilton

Actions have consequences: Isn't that a sermon every good parent has, at one time or another, preached to his or her child?

Are you heartbroken that Paris Hilton has been sentenced to jail? Me neither. I take it as welcome evidence that occasionally karma gets it right and the universe slaps those most in need of slapping. Rarely has comeuppance been more desperately deserved. Not just because she is a famous-for-nothing socialite, nor just because she is an empty vessel inexplicably adored by people for whom vacuousness is apparently synonymous with worth. No, comeuppance is needed here because the woman embodies such smug certainty that the rules do not apply to her. More to the point, because of the utter contempt she oozes for those who are not like her, i.e., not monied, privileged, pretty, white and heedless.

I didn't get the depth of that contempt until the online release earlier this year of a video that shows Hilton dancing at a party. At one point on the clip, she describes some unnamed unfortunate as a "fucking hoodlum, broke, poor public school bitch from, like, Compton." At another point, Hilton describes herself and a friend as "like two niggers." At yet another point, she calls someone a "faggot."

Don Imus got fired for less.

But for Hilton, it was a one-day story. Fox did not cancel the "reality" show she does with Nicole Richie. No sponsors are known to have pulled their ads. No coalition of blacks, gays and Comptonites demanded her head.

No, she skated away scot-free without really answering for her words or even being questioned for them. Which seems the story of her life. And that's troubling, given that Hilton is regarded as a role model, someone worthy of emulation, by so many young girls.

Your actions have consequences: Isn't that a sermon every good parent has, at one time or another, preached to his or her child? If you dance to the music, you've got to pay the piper: Isn't that a cliche we keep on speed dial?

So what do you say to the child about these people whose actions "don't" seem to have consequences, who dance to the music and then leave the piper hanging because they are celebrities, able to do the distasteful and the reprehensible and get away with it because the little people love them?

The little people need to wake up and find somebody worthy of their love. Hilton is not. A life of privilege, pampering and insulation from consequences has left her a moral cripple, and there's nothing admirable in that. Paris Hilton is a snotty child so besotted with herself, so clueless about the rules that govern life here on planet Earth that you almost -- but only almost -- felt sorry for her in reading news reports about her sentencing.

She was pulled over three times for driving on a suspended license while on probation for drunken driving? She showed up to court 15 minutes late? Did she really tell the judge she can't be bothered to look at her mail because "I have people who do that for me"? When asked if she had understood the terms of her probation, did she really say, "I just sign what people tell me to sign. I'm a very busy person"?

Not anymore, she's not. The judge gave her 45 days but her actual stay in jail may be reduced because of overcrowding. She'll be doing her time at a women's facility in Lynwood, a city just north of Compton. And isn't that poetic justice. No, I have no illusion that any of this will damage Hilton's popularity; cluelessness is part of her appeal.

Still, as a parent, a person and a public school graduate, I hope the kids who admire her are taking note: Consequences may arrive late, but they almost always arrive. Something for Hilton to consider as she spends her days in jail wearing an orange jumpsuit and taking group showers in a little place I like to call reality. It couldn't happen to a more deserving person.

*** I thought this was a fantastic, well written article by Leonard Pitts, a syndicated columnist based in Washington: Tribune Media Services. I can't believe that Paris Hilton's fan club started a petition to send to the Arnold Schwarzenegger- If he pardon's her, I will never watch The Terminator again! "If the late former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late Former President Richard Nixon after his mistake[s], we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned," the petition states. They have over 30,000 signatures for this these people even know who Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford are???

Monday, May 14, 2007

For Don and Josue!

Don and Josue's new favorite show Heroes cast.
Next season you boys should do Monday night Heroes dates!
Then Sarah and I can do something fun! He he he!


Is Google's search engine sexist?

No, says the Internet giant -- despite some awfully quirky evidence pointing to the contrary -- we're just, well ... it's complicated.

Google appears to discriminate against women when you use it to search for certain phrases and word combinations. For example if you Google the phrase "she invents," the Web site spits out the suggestion: "Did you mean: he invents." The same thing happens with many other two-word pairings such as "she owns," "she intelligent" and "she responsible." Conversely you don't receive the suggestion "Did you mean: she invents" when you search for the phrase "he invents." But the best was that if you Google "she" with many words stereotypically associated with women -- such as "cooks," "cleans," or "mops" -- the search engine does not offer up: "Did you mean: he cooks" or "he cleans" or "he mops." Oddly enough, Google did seem to treat females and males differently when it came to many two-word combinations beginning with either "she" or "he." Including even "she Google."

In a friendly response, a representative said Google was aware of the issue and offered up a not-so-simple explanation for it: "Google develops its own spell-checking algorithms based on sophisticated machine learning methods, using cues from aggregated user input, Web documents, and many other sources," the spokesperson replied via e-mail. "The algorithm provides a 'best-guess' alternative suggestion that we think might improve the search results, and is completely generated without human input. It can be thought of as a suggestion offer, rather than a definitive answer."

Oh, and Google's "sexist" quirk? It doesn't work against women in every case.
For instance, if you search for the word combo "
she stupid," it does spit out the reply "Did you mean: he stupid." You also get "Britney Spears" as your first search result. And "Paris Hilton" as your second. So, really, you can't be too hard on Google. After all, it's obviously dead-on with some things.