Friday, May 25, 2007

Salad Dressing With A Side Of Semen


A judge has ordered a 17-year-old to pay a $750 fine and perform 120 hours of community service for contaminating salad dressing with semen and returning it to a suburban Chicago high school's cafeteria. DuPage County Judge Terence Sheen also placed Marco Castro on two years probation Wednesday and ordered him to write a letter of apology to Wheaton North High School officials. Castro must complete his community service work for an agency that works with AIDS patients. Sheen called the prank "beyond stupid." "If you prove to me you're worthy of another chance, in two years, then I will give it to you," Sheen said. Castro pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in connection with the Dec. 6 incident. He admitted taking a bottle of ranch salad dressing from the school cafeteria to the bathroom and ejaculating into it, and then returning it to the cafeteria where juniors and seniors eat lunch. Students reported Castro, and the senior was expelled from Wheaton North. There were no reported cases of illness following the incident. Castro told police he thought of the prank after watching a movie filled with crude stunts. "I have no explanation for what I did," Castro said in court. "I felt bad after I did it. "Harry Smith, Castro's attorney, noted that the teen already had been punished, including missing the end of his senior year and humiliating himself and his family. "It has not been without consequences," Smith said.
*** Okay, that's not cool, but so funny!

95 comments:

Sarah said...

yeah I didn't really think people did stuff like that? Young people need a reality check, stuff they do in the movies is just that, if it was meant for real life they probably would not show it in the movies!? That seems like a no brainer to me.

Jenny! said...

Right! Who would think that is okay to go masturbate in the bathroom into ranch dressing! Weirdo!

Ratty. said...

You Americans are so dirty. You wouldn't get a well brought up English boy tossing off over the salad.

Jenny! said...

Ratty:
That's because nice English boys sell dirty panties and don't have time to spread the seed in a bed of lettuce!

Ratty. said...

That's because nice English boys sell dirty panties

I am becoming wealthy beyond my wildest dreams with this project. Do you remember that Robert Redford/Demi Moore film? Would you?

Ratty. said...

Mind you, I would let Demi Moore shag me for nothing.

zen wizard said...

He got off SO easy--in another jurisdiction it might have been aggravated battery.

Some jurisdictions--like the one I am in--have "Reckless behavior by an HIV-positive person."

I guess this guy didn't have HIV.

But I have seen that on a couple background checks, and it is really hard to explain for the job applicant--plus you are afraid to hire them.

This won't come up on a C/B/C because he is 17, but still, there is adequate publicity over this event so if he stays in that town some people might be scared to hire him.

I would be scared to hire him if I owned a restaurant, for instance, because of the tort liability. (One customer gets sick and this might all come out...)

Anyway, everyone does collosally stupid things when they are young and I guess you just hope that no one is seriously hurt and that the young people learn their lessons.

minijonb said...

well, the next time someone double dog dares me to wank off into the salad dressing, i'll just remember this story... and triple dog dare them to do it instead.

Hammer said...

I guess that gives new meaning to "tossed salad"

I'm never using salad dressing at the salad bar again.

captain corky said...

The kid definitely needs to find a new hobby, or perhaps a girl even.

snowelf said...

Jenny,

Yikes! Of all things!!!

I just wanted to stop by and say hey since I always see ya over at Yoda's.

Your son is so, so cute!!! :)

--snow

:phil: said...

Needless to say, one should stay away from the mayo.
I guess it would go well this soup

Jenny! said...

Ratty:
I would need to see the money 1st!

Jenny! said...

Ratty:
I bet you would! Maybe you can get her to donate a pair of bloomers and you can raise money for a charity!

Jenny! said...

Zen:
Stupid things like this, should be punished not only by community service, fines and what you were talking of, but also sterilization!...Please don't let him procreate!

Jenny! said...

minijonb:
Awww, can't not follow through on the triple dog dare!

Jenny! said...

Hammer:
No kidding! I will skip the soup too!

Jenny! said...

Captain:
I am not sure there is any girl who would be interested, except for maybe the girl that wipes her ass with her hand!

Jenny! said...

Snow:
Thanks for checking in! Boys are so nasty!

Jenny! said...

Phil:
Yum, cock flavored soup...better than splooge flavored dressing!

RAFFI said...

come on, fructose-enriched diets are healthier than all those refined white sugar ho-ho's. i feel he was doing a service to humanity.

Jenny! said...

Raffi:
I have heard it makes a great facial cream too!

Jeannie said...

Hate to ruin your lunch - a woman in a nearby town sent her meal back in a particular restaurant.(I think more than once) They "fixed" it and returned it. She ate part of it and asked for a doggie bag as she was full. She got very ill afterward. She had food poisoning...they tested the food she still had in her fridge - there were 5 semen specimens - one with Hepatitis C. The restaurant was closed down.

Paul Champagne said...

His punishment should have been to go back to the school cafeteria and be locked in with all the people that ate that food.

Diesel said...

Gotta love that special sauce.

bloggingjames said...

Eeeeuuuwww. I've suddenly lost my appetite for breakfast!

Fever Dog said...

You're right -- sick, but funny.
He really should have just pissed in it, but I expect the cafeteria staff already do that.

mutleythedog said...

Is this wrong then? Just asking...

Jenny! said...

Jeannie:
That is sick! How long did she have to wait for her food??? FIVE differnt guys jacking off can't be that quick! I would have been very suspicious!

Jenny! said...

Champagne:
They should have let people ejaculate on him! Or make him drink semen only during his probation! Although, If he was sick enough to do that, he probably would enjoy being jerked off on!

Jenny! said...

Diesel:
Special sauce is only okay if you don't know whats in it!

Jenny! said...

Bloggingjames:
I will def. not want a salad with ranch anytime soon!

Jenny! said...

Fever Dog:
Piss sounds so much more appetizing than jizz...yum yum!

Jenny! said...

Mutley:
Wrong for everyone else, But not for you...yor are special!

Yoda said...

Ewww. Gross!!! That's so damn stupid that I don't have any words for it. Other than the fact that I probably won't ever be having Ranch dressing. Or anything that's white and is of THAT viscosity ;-)

Zen is right, he got off easy. He should have got a much sterner sentence.

Where do you get all these news bits? They seem to skip me by! Its good that your blog is around :-)

Ratty. said...

Jenny.
As you seem to have your fingertips on this whole sperm thing can you please answer my questions?
I noticed that yesterday in all of my 9 emissions, throughout the day, my sperm contained what looks like black grape pips. Are these the tadpoles that I keep hearing about? Do you think I have suddenly become fertile?

Pixie Sprinkle said...

Ha ha! Some poon paid money to eat another kid's jizz! Ha ha!

Jenny! said...

Yoda:
Yeah, I thought I would be put off by ranch dressing for a bit, but eh, oh well!

I get my news titbits from the Chicago Tribune, the really great ones are usually tucked very deeply away!

Jenny! said...

Ratty:
I hope you aren't fertile!!! But the little black specs that you are ejaculating are most likely a bad case of crabs that have emmigrated into your ballsack.

Jenny! said...

Pixie:
What poon wouldn't pay for that???

:phil: said...

I wonder if the Ranch dressing was from Brokeback Mountain?
Not that's there's anything wrong with that...
It should have been called Raunch Dressing but that's probably been said already

Yoda said...

I'm mulling which one is worse, having semen in your salad or finding a half dead spider swimming in your curry? I think I've had the second.

jungle jane said...

His surname is Castro and all he can do to be mean is jizz on stuff? blimey...

Flyinfox_SATX said...

I bet that this kid meets a ton of people now who have the whitest teeth he ever came across!

Flyinfox_SATX

Crashdummie said...

Omg I’m so not eating fastfood again!

That's plain nasty.l...euwwww!

RAFFI said...

i just realized that my post on salads "came" the day before your semen story. lol. it's funny how sometimes there's a pattern to the blog madness whether we know it or not. i'll start flogging my subconscious with the idea of semen and see what kinda blog evolves.

Cappy said...

After reading this and watching "Harold and Kumar" I went to White Castle. No "special sauce" for me, please.

Brooklyn Frank said...

gross

Jenny! said...

Phil:
Raunch dressing...oh, that is good!

Jenny! said...

Yoda:
At least with the spider you could see it, but you can't really see cum in things that are already creamy!

Jenny! said...

JJ:
So uncreative right!

Jenny! said...

Flyinfox:
Yeah, and hopefully he is able to come back to school!

Jenny! said...

Crashdummie:
He did it in his school cafeteria, you aren't safe to eat anywhere w/o the possibility of spit, cum, piss and feces in your food!

Jenny! said...

Raffi:
It is weird, I have blogged about the exact same topic as Jungle Jane on two different posts and on the exact same day...very weird!

Jenny! said...

Cappy:
I am sure if you eat at White Castel, you are guaranteed some speical sauce!

Jenny! said...

Cappy:
I am sure if you eat at White Castel, you are guaranteed some speical sauce!

Jenny! said...

Brooklyn Frank:
I know!

mollymcmo said...

LMAO! that was my exact same thought, not cool but damn funny

m

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