Here's the story...
Don, Donovan and I were going to see Grandma Taco in Downers Grove this morning. We were getting on the Eisenhower at Des Plaines so we were going to be merging into the left hand lane. Now, at 10:30am on a Sunday, there was no traffic. I had my turn signal on and was in the process of merging when the small SUV in the left lane decided to speed up and run me onto the shoulder. My reflexes are super sharp because I had my middle finger up and ready for when she passed us, which was only with a few inches to spare. Since there was no traffic the bitch should have just moved into the center lane if she didn't want cars in front of her, instead of waiting and then flooring it to pass me before I merged into the left lane. So, needless to say, I was a little pissed off...Don too. I immediately merged into the center lane, caught up to her, drove right next to her honked to get her attention and Don and I gleefully flicked her off while screaming obscenities at the dumb bitch. She immediately slowed and changed lanes. We watched her in the rear view mirror swerving in and out of lanes and making a lot of distance between us. We then see her coming up fast next to us, Don said, "Ohhh, looks like this bitch wants something!" We look over at her and she is gently displaying what looked to be a Bible at us through her window. She took off fast, but not quickly enough to miss our final flick off. Don and I were laughing at the whole situation and we got to Grandma Taco's without any more problems.
Here's my question...
What was the purpose of displaying her Bible to us?
Was she...
A. Showing us that God is on her side?
B. Afraid that we were going to bust a cap in her ass?
C. Afraid that we were satanic crazyies?
D. Not able to express road rage appropriately?
E. Just a Bible banging weirdo?
F. Not holding up a Bible, but a Koran?
Don, Donovan and I were going to see Grandma Taco in Downers Grove this morning. We were getting on the Eisenhower at Des Plaines so we were going to be merging into the left hand lane. Now, at 10:30am on a Sunday, there was no traffic. I had my turn signal on and was in the process of merging when the small SUV in the left lane decided to speed up and run me onto the shoulder. My reflexes are super sharp because I had my middle finger up and ready for when she passed us, which was only with a few inches to spare. Since there was no traffic the bitch should have just moved into the center lane if she didn't want cars in front of her, instead of waiting and then flooring it to pass me before I merged into the left lane. So, needless to say, I was a little pissed off...Don too. I immediately merged into the center lane, caught up to her, drove right next to her honked to get her attention and Don and I gleefully flicked her off while screaming obscenities at the dumb bitch. She immediately slowed and changed lanes. We watched her in the rear view mirror swerving in and out of lanes and making a lot of distance between us. We then see her coming up fast next to us, Don said, "Ohhh, looks like this bitch wants something!" We look over at her and she is gently displaying what looked to be a Bible at us through her window. She took off fast, but not quickly enough to miss our final flick off. Don and I were laughing at the whole situation and we got to Grandma Taco's without any more problems.
Here's my question...
What was the purpose of displaying her Bible to us?
Was she...
A. Showing us that God is on her side?
B. Afraid that we were going to bust a cap in her ass?
C. Afraid that we were satanic crazyies?
D. Not able to express road rage appropriately?
E. Just a Bible banging weirdo?
F. Not holding up a Bible, but a Koran?
3 comments:
Was she...
A. Showing us that God is on her side? Bitch shouldn't be gettin' noone on her side drivin like that
B. Afraid that we were going to bust a cap in her ass? Most likely. I would have been. There are few people who will chase you after you do something stupid, even fewer with a baby in the car...I would have pissed myself.
C. Afraid that we were satanic crazyies? So, you're not?
D. Not able to express road rage appropriately? Everyone has their own way. Some swear, some hold up bibles. I'm just waiting with my camera until Donovan learns how to put up only his middle finger.
E. Just a Bible banging weirdo? Um, she has a bible in her car. Sorry to anyone else who does, but I don't have any kind of book in my car. Bible, Stephen King, it's all weird.
F. Not holding up a Bible, but a Koran? Quite possibly. Or maybe it was her personal phone book and she was just gesturing to get your number so she could call and apologize.
Christians are whack. Trust me I work with them everyday. She was probably convicted by her crappy ass driving and was showing you her need of salvation since we all know that bad drivers go to hell, especially ones who drive SUVs.
PS you son is adorable. As if you needed my validation.
Post a Comment