Friday, June 08, 2007

Daddy Needs A Raise!

Destructo D strikes again!

The joys of having a toddler are so amazing and I would do it again in a heartbeat...but the pains of having a terrible two year old is crushing! Something to look forward to Captain!

Below is the most recent attack by Destructo D that has left our home ravaged and quickly depreciating in value! While Don was taking a shower this morning, Destructo had a plan all worked out...he decided to break down the child gate and invite himself into the computer/dogs room.
Pictured above is a scattered 20lb. bag of Purina Dog Chow and a few Disney movies! Thank the sweet lord he didn't hit the whole 200+ DVD rack...that would have been a nightmare!
Here is our really nice flat screen plasma computer monitor that has been artistically decorated in PERMANENT marker! Nice! Destructo D is going to be one of those punk graffiti artists who deface property...I just know it! His tag will appropriately be Destructo D and won't I be so proud!
Destructo hits again with the marker (did I mention it is PERMANENT marker) and decides to deface...himself...again! I think I may need to get him some therapy, he obviously has self-esteem/body image issues (that picture was taken during his "chunky" period! More graffiti on our bathroom door. Lovely!

Destructo D also managed to tag the computer keyboard, doorknob, floor, the nice newly painted living room walls, the computer room walls, more pictures, the dogs, his hands, legs, face and feet!

Daddy is now demanding a raise!


snowelf said...

Jenny, don't worry, it doesn't just happen at your house. I promise!!!

Have you tried those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers? They work on almost everything. They even take the finish off of stuff you intend for them to leave on!

And they don't always out grow their craziness... I just vacuumed out my car over the weekend. Something I rarely do, cause I have two children tracking in dirt and everything else on a daily basis, and I feel it's just not worth it until they are older. (I can't seem to take that attitude with my house, however) And my seven year old in a moment of pure insanity, as I assure you, she is usually intelligent, dumped an entire baggie of crushed Life Cereal into her mouth and let the rest just fall where it may all over the back seat.



Sarah said...

well that bathroom door stuck anyway, maybe he was just trying to tell you something!

I hate to break it to you but I believe you may have raised one of those liberal hippie democrat types that does not believe in earthly posessions and property.

captain corky said...

I'm still super excited Jenny! ;)

Jenny! said...

Thanks for reassuring me that no matter how old my kid gets, he's still going to be a mess! (Crying softly to myself)

Jenny! said...

Oh, dear god.....NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I know, the bathroom door is tricky...twist till you hear the thing click, then pull!

Jenny! said...

You should be...its so much fun...and this kind of thing happens, like, only once every few months!

mutleythedog said...

Practise wrestling holds - and find ways to stop traffic when the little bugger makes a run for it. I remember chasing 2 year old down a slip road on to theM25 .... I aged about 400 years in a day.

Jenny! said...

I should look like an ogre by now!

snowelf said...

I know... I know...

But they DO stop writing on things with marker! :D


Jenny! said...

I cannot wait!

Yoda said...

Destructo D! LMAO! I love that tag. Something tells me that this kid is gonna be the cool one in school :-)

Never mind the marker. He's just expressing his artistic abilities. But do remember to get all permanent markers out of the house, ASAP!!

mollymcmo said...

alcohol works on taking that stuff out!
i'm not shitting you.
then you can have a shot after you're done scrubbing it out :)


Flyinfox_SATX said...

Aahhh Youth! Kudos to you for not keeping liquour where he can reach it. Always remember, it could always be worse.


Fever Dog said...

Fire the maid.
I'm just amazed he tagged the dogs -- is it permanent on them, too?

Ratty. said...

Sit down and discuss it with him.
It will all stop when he's around 20 years old.

Hammer said...

My girls do the same thing with permanent markers and toothpaste.

Nothing I do seems to make them stop.

Removing drawing implements seems to be a good start.

DoGGa said...

OMG!!! *speachless*

What a nightmare... I so don't want kids - EVER :]

SMARTBuddy said...

Hope you can still read this through all the black lines. I Babysat my Nephews on Sunday and was quite proud of the mess we had made- untill I saw your destruction!

Jenny! said...

D is going to be teh cool kid in school for sure...because his parents are totally cool!

Jenny! said...

I think I will give that a try...the drinking shot thing!

Jenny! said...

Tru dat!

Jenny! said...

Nothing is truly "permanent" but yes, the dogs look very cute with stripes!

Jenny! said...

I can't wait for the next 18!

Jenny! said...

We do have all our writting implements in the computer room with the child gate and all, but he has conquered teh child gate!!

Jenny! said...

It's not all permanent marker hell, there's also diapers to change, snot to wipe, and other misc. nasty bodily functions! Are you sure you won't change you mind and have kids???

Jenny! said...

Its alwasy fun to make a mess when it's not your house, and they can't really be mad since you were doing them a favor and babysittin!

John said...

Excellent job kid, keep up the good work.

Small tip, when the marker runs dry, break the nib off then you can use the metal bit to scratch stuff! That doesn't come off either! Result.

Jenny! said...

Thanks for sharing that tip...I will now be removing all writting units from my house!

Ashley said...

The other night when I was over, Donovan was so cute and we had so much fun watching videos, etc. It made me really want kids. But then...

I saw these pictures and cracked up! At moments like that, I am pretty happy I don't have kids.

Did any more ink come off?