Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The Bimbo at the Emission Test Office

So, I had to get my car's emissions test done last week, that was fun! For whatever reason I turn into this complete fumbling bimbo any time I am somewhere about my car (repair shop, Jiffy Lube, emission test facilities, etc). I was really nervous because I received a nice letter in the mail from Mr. Jesse White, who was going to suspend my drivers license and vehicle registration if I failed to comply. This was necessary that I passed. I failed the test two years ago because of some piece of shit CO2 censor not working right...$350.00 later...I passed. I didn't have that luxury this time...I needed to pass. I pull up to the place (new location...the fuckers at Hillside closed) and got stuck behind some complete moron who was driving about 1/2 miles an hour. I sped around him cursing obscenities that are not appropriate to repeat...not thinking that I was at a government place and perhaps getting road rage was not a good thing to show them righ now. I pulled into my testing lane (pink warning slip in hand) and didn't even have to wait. The big black guy came up to the car (I peed in my pants already because of nerves) and he asked, "Ha much mals yo gots on dis?" I replied, "None of the lights on my ODB are on!" He said, "No, how many mals yo gots?" I replied, "I drove for about an hour before I pulled in!" He asked one more time, this time find of annoyed, "NO, MALS! HOW MANY MALS YOU GOT???" I thought for a second...."OH, MILES! I didn't know what you were talking about, I thought you said MALS...as in malfunctions!" apparently I do have a few malfunctions...in my brain! He laughed and called the other guy over to make fun of me...made me feel real comfortable...ASSHOLE! After the two men were finished ripping me a new one, the black guy said, "Drive down the lane to the end and stop!" I, wanting to clarify, since I failed my last comprehension test, asked, "ALL the way to the end...like right behind the car?" The Latino man interjected, "Yes, run right into the back of the other car!" I laughed a dumbass laugh and drove off! After I got there...the bimbo didn't stop...I passed the test, but not without making a fool of myself again!

Thank God I passed!


Sarah said...

I get nervous about my car too!

But now I must know what other Bimbo things you did!!!!!!

Jeanette said...

Good job! Good thing I wasn't with you. I'm sure it would have been much worse. Congratulations on not having to go for at least another year now.