Monday, January 15, 2007

When Saints Lie


Don's grandma, Grandma Taco, is the closest thing to a Saint that I have ever met. She is the most religiously inspiring woman with the biggest, purest heart I can imagine. When I am with her I feel relief, joy and inspiration. I am not a very religious person more spiritual really, but when I am with her I am hit with overwhelming goodness. She lives by herself in a small apartment and we visit her every other or every Sunday. She cooks for us, she says that her cooking is the best because she cooks with lots of love. It is some damn good food. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met and can do no harm.


That said...she totally lied to Don's sister Yolie this past weekend. Yolie is a straight up cunt. She is a total bitch with no respect, decency or class. She comes over to Grandma Taco's house and eats all her food, leaves a huge mess and is extremely ungrateful and rude. We were all going to meet up this past Sunday to have lunch as a family because Don's younger brother Jeff is heading back to college. Yolie called Grandma Taco to let her know what time and Grandma Taco told Yolie that she wasn't going to be home so nobody should come over. Yolie called us to tell us that Grandma is cancelling for Sunday and we should do it another time. Grandma called two minutes later and told Don that she was in fact going to be home and that only we were invited because we aren't rude and obnoxious. I could not believe that she lied to Yolie, it was the most fantastic thing in the world! Since Yolie is no longer invited to join us for food at Grandma Taco's house, we should all be enjoying each other's company much better now!

7 comments:

Hammer said...

Good for Grandma, I know it's hard to tell A-holes that their behavior makes them unwelcome. Sometimes lying works too. It's kind of a bandaid solution though

Malnurtured Snay said...

If lying doesn't work, I enjoy head-butting as a tool to discourage!

Dan said...

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

I mean, really, can anyone advocate telling the absolute truth all of the time?

For instance, when the Nazis caming to visit the store below Anne Frank's hiding place, was the guy who answered them supposed to say "Well, now that you ask, there is a family hiding upstairs."

Lying to good people is much worse than lying to cunts (quoting you).

Zen Wizard said...

I wish I was puttin' on the Ritz with Grandma Taco.

That would be way more fun than when I did it with Regular Taco.

Memo's Mind said...

If Yolie's not going to be there, can I take her place? I love food!!

Jenny! said...

Hammer - I'm sure it will get to the point were G'ma Taco will tell her off to her face.

Malnurtured - That is a fantastic idea!

Dan - I agree...it's only a bad thing if you lie to good people, otherwise they just deserve it!

Zen - It is so much better than Reg. Taco!

Memo - I would love for you to take her place!

Jeanette said...

Bad Ass! You go Grandma Taco! I'm still waiting for leftovers some Monday. Although I suppose I'll get those around the same time I'll be getting chili.