Saturday, January 13, 2007

Yummy Donut!


There has been a homeless man lurking at my local Starbucks. He hides behind the side of the apartment building across the street and sticks his head out to ask for money when cars park. I have seen him a few times this week and every time he scares me because he jumps out from behind the side of the building yelling, "Miss!" The first time I replied, "What?" And then the next few times I have just shook my head and walked away.

Now this is probably going to come off sounding mean, but I don't give money to beggars on the street. There are so many homeless shelters in Chicago that are only half full and the last reports that I read, said that only about 50% of the actual homeless use the shelters and food pantries. Why are the homeless not going to the shelters for help. And if they are asking for bus or train fare...why did they leave that area they want to get "home" to so badly? Also, if I am going to give someone something it is going to be the actual object not just handing them over money.

So, this morning the man jumped out from the building again and I shook my head and walked away. When I was waiting in line at Starbucks I felt weirdly charitable and decided to buy the man a donut and a bagel. After I picked up my drink, I walked to the corner where the man pops out from (prepared with my hand on my mace...just in case), found him sitting next to the dumpster and handed him the donut and bagel. He looked surprised and took the bag and asked, "What's this?" I told him, "That's a donut and a bagel for you!" He said, "I was asking for money, not food!" I was like, "Oh!" He was like, "There's not even butter on this bagel!" I was shocked out of my frigging mind! I asked him what he needed money for and he said, "It's none of your business." I said, "Okay, fine. Have a nice day and good luck finding money, bastard!" I then swiftly grabbed the donut and bagel bag from him and hurried to my car. I got in the car, locked the door and couldn't move. Seriously, I was in awe of his audacity. He obviously has missed a few meals, baths and doctor appointments so I thought that bringing him Starbucks treats was a nice thing. I then called the Forest Park non-emergency number and told them that there was a bum harassing the patrons of Starbucks for the past week and that he needs to be removed. The police said they would send someone out to check. I was pleased! I went to work, didn't want to eat the bagel or donut so I left it in the bag on my desk. My boss came in 30 minutes later and asked what I was eating. I told her she could have it if she wanted to, I didn't like Starbucks donuts. Now, seeing that my boss is squeamish about the smallest of things, this donut was extra yummy for me!!!

20 comments:

Hammer said...

Every bum I've run into so far has been extrememly ungrateful what I have given items or money.

I saw one of these types get into a new Jeep he had parked next to the corner where he was begging and drive off.

In Vegas the bums took the money and immediately cashed it in for casino chips, lost a couple hundred in 5 minutes and went back to begging on the street again.

The bagel and donut was a nice gesture but these creeps are either on a liquid diet or eat filet mignon behind closed doors when the begging shift is over.

Glad your boss found the bum soiled donut yummy.

Memo's Mind said...

Oh my goodness you crack me up! I would have shared a few choice words but I don't know that I would have taken the food back. And gave it to your boss...classic! I remember a radio station here in San Diego was talking to a guy who pan handled and he said that he made $50k a year - tax free. I never give money anymore. I donate to my charities that I have looked into and spend the rest on myself!

The Gangster of Love said...

You know, I see the same guy hold the same sign asking people to give him money so he can "get home" at least three days a week. He has been holding that sign for at least six months....sounds fishy to me...

Pastor Stew said...

The other day I gave a guy a couple of bucks and he seemed ticked. He was obviously stoned. The funny thing is he never asked for cash. He wanted to go home but did not want to be any effort in to getting there. Oh well. I wonder what would happen if you gave a guy some smokes and a 40?

Yasamin said...

he was probably mental. i dont mean that in an insulting way. i totally mean that in a serious way. the guy was mental. which means that you're very lucky that you walked away without him goin nutz on you.

if there's anything that tv has taught me is that bums arent real. they are just figments of our imagination.

god i learn so much from tv. lol

Sarah said...

you are brave for going close to him. I used to work with my dad in apark with the homeless and a few times they came to get clean at my house. That said I still do not approach homeless people or hand out money. There are some out there who really have no other options but there are just too many scary stories for me.

Jenny! said...

Sarah...could you add bums to your blogs "Dead to me" list???

Jenny! said...

Seeing my boss eat the "bum soiled donut" made the whole thing worth it! It was my icing on the cake!

Jenny! said...

Memo...I had to take the food back! He was being so ungrateful and that is what you get when your a homeless dick!

Jenny! said...

Bums don't exist, bums don't exist...i will keep repeating that like Dorothy everytime I see one now! THanks Yasamin that will help me ignore them even better!

Jenny! said...

Gangster...It doesn't just sound fishy, but also smells fishy!

Jenny! said...

They love them some 40's and cigs! But I like to save the special stuff for myself!

mutleythedog said...

Don't you have a Gun? I thought everyone in Americky was armed - so you could just shoot him. Is it just me or does he look like Saddam Hussein? It can't ne him as he is living in a bunker near the twelth hole on the West Bay golf course!

Jenny! said...

I wish I had a gun sometimes!

Yasamin said...

consider yourself linked!

ChickyBabe said...

I was told never to give them money because they use it to buy alcohol. And offers of food or drink or even bus tickets (when they beg for money for public transport), all end up with a show of ingratitude.

Newforestandy said...

I guess we are lucky here in the countryside of little old England, totally hassle free from all the bums, tho dont get me wrong there are plenty around in the townships, just ask Mutley!

Steven Novak said...

You're a better person than me for even stopping to chat. :)

Steve~

world champ stephen neal said...

Why is everyone always down on the bums? It's an industry, just like Starbucks and McDonald's. If I were the bum, I would have given you the Donald for stealing my food.

Jeanette said...

Fantastic! I was getting a little nervous that it was the breakfast you gave me on Friday morning. I've tried to also be generous, and both times it hasn't worked out for me. Someone on the el was asking for money. Most of the time I truthfully don't have any, and they probably have more in their pockets than I do. I offered my granola bar that I had planned on eating shortly. Shoot, don't I know now that bums don't eat no granola. The other time John and I were leaving Rosebuds downtown and a bum asked for money for him and his kid (nice touch with the kid by the way). Maybe he didn't just see me come out of Rosebuds, but I fo sho didn't have any money after that outting. We offered him our leftovers (again which I planned on eating hours later). Wouldn't you know it, bums don't eat pizza either. I politely told him, since his child was sitting next to him, that it wasn't pizza, but filet mignon. Hammer's probably right. They probably could have gotten better at home.