Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Hand Over The Chili Sauce, Bitch!

A Wendy's restaurant manager almost lost his life to a disgruntled customer.


The cause?

Chili sauce.

The shooter wanted more of this highly addictive and delicious sauce. As the man picked up his meal, he told the Wendy's drive thru worker that he wanted extra chili sauce, "I foshizzel needs me somez dat chil saus, bitch." When he didn't get his sauce right away, he began arguing, "Wendyz be full of rasis mufukas!" Then, when he did get his sauce, he wanted more, "You cheap ass mufucka, whyz you gots to beez skimpin my ass, white devil, keepin me wayz from my chili." The attendant told him restaurant policy prohibits a customer getting more than three packets, "Sir, a human just doesn't need to consume that much chili sauce! You will have fire coming out of your ass within the hour!" The customer insisted on 10, "I'z be gotten 4 burgers an som dat chili n be needz mo den dat". The worker complied, "Just shut the fuck up and take the fucking 10 chili sauce packets, you cunt", but the customer continued arguing, "Dam bitch, bess be stepping off my shit!" The worker asked the customer to pull up so the manager could come out and speak with him, "Sir? Could you pull the fuck out of my face and go talk to that greasy dickhole that makes me give you only 3 packets of chili so that we can save 8 cents." The manager came out to inform him of company policy, and he was shot several times. I have never had the opportunity to taste Wendy's chili sauce, but it must be the most wonderful sauce in the world! What is chili sauce anyway??? I know Wendy's has chili, but what would the need for chili sauce be? Is that like hot sauce, but fancier???

50 comments:

The Dirty Rat said...

Jenny.
Chilli sauce makes a wonderful nipple and flap rub. Don't get any near your eyes though.

Jenny! said...

Ratty:
I had no idea that it could be used in that way! Might have to try!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Don't do that, Jenny. Your private parts need cool creamy sauces, not chilli. The Wendy's sauce can't be that hot if anyone needed 10 packets. I suspect American tastebuds have got used to bland food.

Paul Champagne said...

It's pretty good chilli sause, but not worth dieing for.

Malnurtured Snay said...

That shit's ridiculous: home boy just got himself twenty-years in jail over chili sauce. Hope it was worth it :)

Zen Wizard said...

Well, I have had Wendy's Chili Sauce, and it rocks, but to say it is not worth shooting someone over goes without saying.

I have noticed that Taco Bell lets you take all the sauce you want.

It's not the same thing, but they even let you take the extra hot sauce.

Obviously they are not as concerned about your potential subsequent rectal trauma.

I was scared to death, parenthetically, when this one white guy in line at Wendy's a couple years ago started going off on these Mexicans. I had to take him outside the restaurant--I think he was a little intoxicated and I was afraid they were going to kill him.

Anyway, that was a bummer...

Wendy's has great food except for the french fries, which they never manage to cook long enough, in my humble opinion.

The Dirty Rat said...

Wasn't Wendy that sweet little girl that Peter Pan was shagging? Why have they named a burger after her? Does J.M. Barrie know about this? I sense some litigation in the pipeline.

Yoda said...

I heard that Wendy's might be sold to Burger King? Donno if that's just a rumor or not.

I just had chili for lunch.

I wouldn't let any chili sauce near my nipples, 'coz that's my sensitive parts.

captain corky said...

I'm gonna run right out and get me some of that chilli suauce. I hear it's to kill for.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Come Back Brighter said...

Many a life is lost in duels, fought over chilli sauce

Jenny! said...

Gorilla:
That's why we load shit up with salt...it's disgusting! Cool creamy sauces do sound better than burning fire sauces!

Jenny! said...

Paul:
I haven't tasted it yet, but when I do I might be tempted to bust a cap in someone's ass to get more!

Jenny! said...

Snay:
There are worse things to kill over...like toliet paper!

Jenny! said...

Zen:
I know, Wendy's fries suck!

Jenny! said...

Ratty:
I think Peter Pan was secretly rocking Captain Hooks world! He didn't much like girls!

Jenny! said...

Yoda:
I bet your nipples will thank you! Stick with Gorilla Bananas advice and only let cool creamy sauces near your privates!

Jenny! said...

Captain:
I ask myself that same question at least once a day!

Jenny! said...

Fever Dog:
It's a battle that will rage for centuries!

The Dirty Rat said...

I think Peter Pan was secretly rocking Captain Hooks world

Tinkerbell, the provocative bitch, she gives me the horn big time.

Jeannie said...

I think homey needs some anger management classes. He had to be high.

Jenny! said...

Ratty:
Tinkerbell is quite the skank! But can she handle you???

Jenny! said...

Jeannie:
I think homie needs to be incarcerated! He must be smokin' some good shit to make you that delusional!

Mega said...

I'm not letting any sort of sauce near my privates. My boys are delicate damnit.

Jenny! said...

Mega Dan:
Do you mind that I switch your name around like that???

I dare you to shave your boys then apply chili sauce...if your not up to it...I bet Ratty would be!

snowelf said...

Chili sauce... who knew! I've never had it either... but Taco Bell does let you take all the hot sauce you want...hmmm...

--snow

Jenny! said...

Snowelf:
I do love me some Taco Smell! It's some good fake ass Mexican food!

Pixie Sprinkle said...

Mebbe it was a fur burger he was eating and he needed HEAPS of chill sauce on account of the minging taste, like??

Ed & Jeanne said...

It's a conspiracy you know. That person that shot him was secretly hired by McDonalds to give bad publicity toward Wendys. They probably took the 3 Chili packs and stole the formula too!!!

Zen Wizard said...

FYI, ratty--

Wendy Thomas was the founder's daughter.

Jenny! said...

Variant:
Oh, I do love conspiracies! I bet your right! That time that someone found a finger in a Wendy's cup of chili was probably Burger King's plot!

Anonymous said...

Chili sauce is kinda OK - but shooting people isnt.

Deech said...

Its Finger lickin good ya know!

Flyinfox_SATX

Rex Venom said...

Mmmmmmm Chilli sause.
Good for your insides.
Rock on!

robkroese said...

rasis mufukas indeed.

raffi said...

he must have mistaken it for that salad dressing with the side of semen... it's an honest mistake.

Mike Minzes said...

Crazy!

You tell it well, though!

PS: The chilli sauce is not that good.

-0-0-

Jenny! said...

Mutley:
Very observant of you!

Jenny! said...

FlyinFox:
Isn't that KFC??? Yuck, there are lots of things I would shoot people over, however; KFC is not one of them...gross!

Jenny! said...

Rex:
You too!

Jenny! said...

Myutopia:
Sometimes I am just too funny! Can't help myself!

Jenny! said...

Diesel:
Right on brotha!

Jenny! said...

Raffi:
How could he be so stupid as to confuse those...totally different color!!!

Jenny! said...

MikeM:
I don't imagine that pre-packaged "chili" sauce would be that great!

minijonb said...

i've seen people arguing in fast food places over the most absurd stuff, so this headline didn't even surprise me. mmm... Wendy's... now look what you've done!

=;-)

Jenny! said...

Minijonb:
I desperatly wanted Wendy's yesterday!

Zen Wizard said...

I seem to recall the line at a nearby McDonalds being the genesis of an aggravated assault with a vehicle.

I.e., they were arguing inside about who was ahead in line, and when the other patron came out the arguer rammed her with a car.

The Miami Herald on the principal matter says that the manager complied (to violate the "three packet" policy) by giving ten packets, and the guy shot him anyway, because I guess he wanted even more.

Maybe some people want to go to Wendy's and buy one cup of chili and get a year's supply of chili sauce.

S said...

Please tell me this isn't a true story...

We don't have a Wendy's over here on the other side of the pond, so I cant't vouch for the chilli sauce.

briliantdonkey said...

I heard about this the other night as well. It is amazing what kind of people fill this world. I wonder if the guy getting shot was thinking,,,,,"fuck an a, THIS is going in the blog"

BD

mollymcmo said...

holy man! i worked at wendy's for years as a teen and i saw a penis once in the drive through, never once a gun.
the hot sauce is freakin amazing
i put it on fries and nachos :)
i also used to steal them.

m

hungech said...

In cooking, a sauce is liquid, creaming or semi-solid food served on or used in preparing other foods. Sauces are not normally consumed by themselves; they add flavor, moisture, and visual appeal to another dish. Sauce is a French word taken from the Latin salsus, meaning salted. Possibly the oldest sauce recorded is garum, the fish sauce used by the Ancient Romans.
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