I am lucky to have two younger sisters (15 and 17) that are willing to babysit for my son...at no charge. Well, I do buy them alcohol, give them some spending money now and then, and let them drive my car on occasion, so not really "free" but not a charge by the hour kind of deal either. Maggie (15) is the most common babysitter because Emily (17) is lazy as shit and doesn't want to, "chase him and play and stuff" (imagine that said in a whiny, bratty, drone, the world hates me, I am so overworked, what have you done for me lately kind of tone). Maggie has my dad's genes, which basically means she is like a spawn of the devil sent directly from hell to make the world weep and angels die. Donovan and Maggie's relationship is very love-hate. They are either having a grand ole time giggling and being silly or yelling at each other. I have explained to Maggie on several occasions, that she is getting into arguments with a TWO YEAR OLD...he will win every time and you come off looking stupid!
So, twice a week Don goes to work and leaves our precious child in the hands of either the devil spawn or the girl that wouldn't run out of a burning building because she was waiting for the fireman to arrive and carry her to safety. I should say that I do trust my sisters to take care of Donovan and they do a great job with him. That said, my problem with "free" babysitters is that they don't feel obligated to do anything but the basic childcare. Now, I am not asking for a babysitter-maid-dry cleaners in one type of a deal, but a little respect for my house some common decency would be nice. I am a tad bit OCD/anal retentive about cleaning my house...my house is like my temple, and cleaning is my meditation. On my way home from work on Tuesdays and Thursdays (Don's work days) I am always anxious about opening up my front door to see what kind of shit-storm has hit my temple.
All I want is for people to do a few simple things to save my sanity...take off your shoes, put shit back (everything has a home), clean up crumbs from counters and floors when you create them, put food that you are done with either in the trash or back in the fridge, put the little plastic stoppers in the sippy cups, don't leave empty water bottles or cans laying around, turn down radio volume before turning it off, throw dirty diapers in the trash instead of leaving in his room for hours, don't eat all of the cookies I made and just basically, clean up after yourself.
Is that too much to ask???
I know that I don't pay them but I am also not asking them to polish the silver or scrub my undies...I just want them to leave things the way they found them. I was a superb babysitter...paid highly for my services. I would take excellent care of the children and leave the house cleaner then when I got there. So, what that I drank their liquor, used their phone, peeked in their cabinets and had sex on their couch...I took damn good care of those kids and left the house spotless!
So, yesterday I came home to a monstrous mess and I was of course jonesing to clean instantly, but resisted and thought I should start the laundry first. I got all the laundry together and was hauling the basket over the child gate on our back porch stairs, when Donovan decided that it would be fun to throw a ball down the stairs after me, causing me to trip and come so so close to busting my shit. I managed to not end up in traction (a miracle really) and not drop one sock from the basket! If felt as if the world was out to get me yesterday, first my sisters trashing my temple and then my own son trying to kill me.
I survived...by cleansing my temple and throwing the ball back at Donovan's head!
I should also add that I love my sisters dearly, appreciate the fact that they are willing to watch their nephew for free and that I am not being disrespectful and mean, that is just how we are...ask them and they will tell you some wicked things about me!