Friday, July 20, 2007

Alarm Cock!

Did y'all miss me yesterday???


Yeah, I didn't think so!

I was at a funeral for my son's great great grandmother - it was very cool to have 5 generations living at the same time, not something that happens all that often! Donovan was also born on her birthday, which is kind of freaky! It was a very nice funeral...if that's possible. I cried like a fricking blubbering idiot...and I wasn't even really sad about her passing. Now don't go and think that I am a cold hearted bitch, but I think I have a healthy outlook on death and realize that we can't always stop it, everything happens for a reason and we should accept that she's not suffering in her bodily form and has been released from her human form. But damn, I cry ALOT! I think I am more upset by seeing others crying and I know that they are sad, so I cry along with them. At one point, Don leaned over to me and said, "You realize that you are the only one crying!" Also, the priest officiating mass was Asian and said Lord like "rawrd"...and holy spirit like "rory spiwit". Very funny indeed, but totally inappropriate for me to be laughing in my head while he is praying and such!
I got to meet more of Don's family...the mobsters! Very exciting stuff! Don't know if every one's hip to the Chicago mob trials going on but over funeral lunch, a few were talking about how it's too bad so and so got ratted on, and did you see so and so in the papers. It was a bit creepy that the mob was at the table next to me...or not really the mob...but they are friends with the mob. I also noticed that Italians are a bit touchy-feely-rubby...almost got felt up by a few of them...have they no sense...we are at a funeral! Geez!
Donovan split my lip during the reception, and it bled a bit and it is now bruised and swollen! Thanks D! I love you too! Nothing like tasting blood at a funeral!
Jeanette's teacher said, "Alarm cock!" Instead of clock in her class last night...good thing I wasn't there because this is just the kind of immature thing needed to set me off into a laughing fit, the kind where I either end up peeing my pants (Don - not necessary to comment on me wetting myself - thanks!) or start choking ferociously!

35 comments:

Kelly said...

yes! yes we all missed you. your site is soooo gonna get me fired one day... hahaha!

zen wizard said...

Well, back in my day, the ROOSTER was our Alarm Cock--we didn't have that fancy stuff you youngin's call electricity back on the Rural Route One, not till after The Second Biggun', I reckon...

And when you wanted yer porn and what have ya, ya had to either wait for the underwear section of the Sears & Roebuck catalogue, or lay in the field and wait for the clouds to form a naked lady...

That kinda hardship built CHARACTER. At least it did in me...

We could use a little more a that, nowadays...we lost it what with the Kennedys, and what have ya...pwoot...DING!...gulldern missed the gulldern spittoon again the Misses is gonna shit...

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

I still remember hen my physics teacher got the whole class in fits with the line 'When I rub my rod...'

I worked my a Jamaican Woman who brought her Great grandmother to meet us once. This woman was 35 and a daughter, so this woman was a GG Grandmother too. Apparently she had-get this- 150 odd LIVING descendants!!!

Kelly said...

I am really sorry to hear about the great great grandma too!

Yoda said...

I missed you as much as an alcoholic misses bourbon. LOL! No, not really :-p I was busy as hell y'day didn't set my feet into blogdom at all!

I saw a funny video on Youtube the other day. A guy had a huge cock (fake one) on him and was walking down a street. The cock was realistic and you should've seen the expressions on some of them teenagers!!

May the departed rest in peace.

Jenny! said...

Kelly:
I'm sorry, I should start putting a post rating at the top, so you will know!

Zen:
You are one crazy ass! Did the clouds ever get busy with each other???

Crushed:
Shit, that is way too much family...Christmas would be a nightmare! So what happens when you rub your rod???

Kelly:
Thanks, I know the penis takes away from everything else!

Yoda:
Thanks! I will have to check that video out...sounds entertaining!

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

I think it had something to do with static. I wasn't really paying attention, but when he come out with that...
My favorite was our biology teacher- he was on about chewing and he says 'The process of mastication, not to be confused with a form of self abuse,...'

mutleythedog said...

I like funerals sometimes -it reminds us we are alive! How did Don split yer lip? If this is domestic violence u should seek help right away! As for the alarm cock - do you know that looks exactly like a penis?

Jenny! said...

Crushed:
That's self abuse??? What a prude!

Mutley:
You are so observant! Donovan (son)split my lip not Don...Don gave me a strong drink to take away the sting!

captain corky said...

I missed ya! Now that I'm home I can start getting my daily dose of Jenny again. ;)

Jenny! said...

Captain:
I am so glad you guys are home!

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

You'd think he'd know that, being a biology teacher, wouldn't you?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

My alarm cock has an ooze button.

Paul Champagne said...

jenny ... I would like to say I missed you, but I was AWOL from Blogland yesterday too.

But Welcome Back!!!

George said...

Sad about the death, unfortunate about the lip ... but better the lip than the coffin

RAFFI said...

my condorences. my ararm cock is working hard 24/7.

MONA said...

sorry to hear about your loss. A good cry is catharitic!

Steph said...

Oh wow! A little warning before giant cocks leaping out at me would be nice.
My mum was looking over my shoulder and accused me of downloading porn again!!

BEAST said...

Yes we missed you Jenny!
Glad it was a 'good' funeral , it nice to see someone passing marked properly , even better when its 'colourful' ......mob presence how cool is that :-).
Touched up by the mob.....even cooler :-))

jungle jane said...

Man Jenny you are so cool. Mafia and funerals all on the same day? Damn, AND a busted lip?

Flyinfox_SATX said...

Yes you were missed! In fact, you took center stage at my blog this week!

Thanks for the alarm cock by the way....there are just somethings I don't need! LOL

Sassy Blondie said...

They had an Asian Catholic priest officiating the funeral of an Italian woman? WTF?

Jenny! said...

Crushed:
He! Biology teachers are the weirdos!

Dyckerson:
Does it go off every nine minutes?

Paul:
You missed me anyways!

George:
Tru dat!

Raffi:
You should contact your doctor as that may signify blood vessel problems! You would be one hot date!

Mona:
Absolutely!

Steph:
I bet you mom will visit the picture again later!

Beast:
I missed you too! Mob dudes are cool! Are you in the mob Beast???

Jungle Jane:
The busted lip put me over the top!

FlyinFox:
I loved you blog picture...fucking priceless! And, everyone needs an alarm cock!

Sassy:
That's what I was thinking! It was the oddest combination EVER!

Mike M said...

Good out look on death Jenny!. Death bring life.

Now you in the family (kiss the ring and close the door)

electro-kevin said...

Good grief, Jenny !

I come here expecting intellectual nourishment and all I get is labia-like lips and erect cocks. I know that you are such a good girl and that butter wouldn't melt in your mouth.

Is something getting you a little over-excited of late ???

RAFFI said...

i am a doctor... and priaprism is a beautiful thang.

Jenny! said...

Mike M:
That only ring that's gonna get kissed is mine! Now kiss my ring and say your sorry!

Electro-Kevin:
"intellectual nourishment"...you must be on the wrong blog...go visit Mutley! And there is one thing getting me a bit over-excited...Big Brother! Fuck yeah!

Jenny! said...

Raffi:
Priapism will make your cock fall off!

Fever Dog said...

Could have done with some warning on that last pic! And what a run of emotions in this post -- from funerals, to being married to the mob and ending up with alarm cocks!

Dan said...

It's very sweet that you cry. Cry whenever you need to.

Important question -- is that you in the t-shirt in the right margin? Yowser!

Jenny! said...

Fever Dog:
Sorry about that! My mind is so random at times, it all seems normal to me!

Dan:
I can be sweet...not just when crying! Yes, that is me and my custom made t-shirt!

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

This one was actually also my form tutor, he was quite laid back, we used to call him 'Fat Bloke' and he'd answer.
Except once when he didn't so he called him Fat Twat instead, so he threw me out.
Never understood that as a punishment.
I mean you're supposed to go stand in the corridor, but I just used to go on a mooch.

Nocturnal said...

5 generations, that is damn impressive. I hope it was an Irish funeral, those are always a hoot after the fact Guinness style.

Cheers

Dan said...

Jenny, if that's you all I can say is ... er ... um ... what are you doing Saturday night? :)

honkeie2 said...

I have an alarm cock but I call it morning wood. But I think I will borrow a new line tommorow morning.
'Honey, its time to get up the alarm cock is about to go off.'