I love my iPod...but it didn't save me today from the smelly bum on the train! I thought that once I had an iPod my train troubles would be over...but no. This morning a dude sitting behind me tapped my shoulder (now I am going to have to burn my shirt) to ask me for money, now I can't just outright ignore people, that's just rude! I would rather just say "no" and have him be on his way instead of ignoring him. This man was a piece of work...he opened up the "money talk" by telling me these facts about himself:
A. He just got out of prison.
B. He smells.
C. He sleeps on the train.
D. He's can't get a gun.
E. He needs to get back to Kankakee and would like to acquire a gun before going back home.
I didn't give him any money, but told him to "get the fuck out of my face"...just kidding! I was very polite as I thought he might try to steal my brand new shiny iPod and trade it for a gun! He started crying, and at that point my patience and sympathy wore out and I was getting annoyed, irritated and nervous. There were plenty of people on the train...so I knew I would have backup in case there was a need for me to throw down. I flashed my best, "I am in desperate need of saving" look to a large man, who then proceeded to come up to the bum and asked him nicely, "to leave the young lady alone!" So thanks large man...for getting the bum off my ass!
My new strategy is going to be to tell everyone that bothers me to, "suck my dick"...thanks to the inspiration from the skank-nastiest hoodrat of them all....Lil Kim! She has got to be the most ghetto ass ho bitch of ALL time...but I like her...she's fantastically obscene and I love her lyrics...and I am pretty sure that she does have a dick that many a men would suck or rather be forced to suck! So, here's the song "Suck My Dick"...please listen!
It's either going to be telling people to suck my dick or fixing my make-up like this every morning and looking like a scary bitch!
What do you think will be more effective???