Monday, August 06, 2007

Randomness!

I watched Hot Fuzz this weekend and loved it! I don't know exactly why it was so funny, but one of the reasons is because the one guy said, "Because he's fuck ugly!" I love English actors and their accents...it makes the word 'fuck' so much funnier! I have a tendency to get the "out of control laugh till I cry" syndrome every now and again, and Don will replay the scene over and over and over again for me...till I am in tears, and on the verge of pissing myself.
The last movie that put me in tears was the two boys, Walker and Texas Ranger, in Talledega Nights. The video below is a collection of lines from the boys, its a bit long, but so fucking funny. There is something about little kids swearing and being all hard ass that gets me laughing.




We also watched The Black Dahlia, which I was super excited to see, but I was really disappointed. I was bored out of my fucking skull, but I think that is because I was also confused as fuck!

In non-related news....the bitch that is covering the desk for the girl behind me is pissing the shit out of me! She is so fucking dumb...and she talks on the phone non-stop...I hate listening to personal phone conversations all damn day...when I am actually trying to fucking work! I may just end up throwing my stapler at her fat fucking head or slamming her teeth in with the phone! I am so busy this week, I will try my damnedest to get around to all of your blogs...I miss you guys! Fucking work getting in the way of my blogging again!

Worst pick up line EVER...

Dude: How do you spell apologize?
Me: A-P-O-L-
Dude: Sweetheart, you don't need to apologize for those beautiful eyes!
Me: (Huffs loudly) Whatever!

What the fuck is wrong with men...and why do they think that using lines like that is smooth...they just look like fucktards...nothing attractive about that!

47 comments:

istanbultory said...

You do a nice line in randomness, sweet thang. ‘seen “Hot Fuzz” too. Nicholas Angel is the man. And what’s so funny about our quaint pronunciation of the word “fuck”, Miss Jenny?
BTW, the bitch that is covering the desk for the girl behind you, she should be relocated to the 45th floor where she can team up with the psycho bitch to whom you referred in an earlier post. Potential hoes, the pair of ‘em....

-Papa said...

I've been wanting to watch "Hot Fuzz" but haven't gotten around to it. The same actor(s) is in "Shawn of the Dead" and if you haven't seen that, I recommend it.

Try playing a gag on the annoying person behind you. If she ever gets off the phone pretend you're on a personal call but say things like, "There's plenty of time for the body to decompose, they won't find it." Or, "Those hollow points do wonders, but she was screaming like a pig when I shot her thru the stomach. I'm surprised she didn't wake up the neighbors." Get her to think you're a sociopath, that'll shut her up.

Lucy said...

"F--tards!" That's new one! I'm writing that one down! You're ahead of the curve when it's comes to Pottymouth 101. I'm just an early adopter.

When it comes to British humor, they've got us beat in the Sitcom arena, and I guess that translates to comedy flicks as well. But I've heard American Standup is a fierce competitor! Who knows! I'll tell you when I get there!

Yoda said...

What a coincidence, we watched Black Dahlia this weekend too! I was bored and fell asleep :-p

What's the worst pick up line I've overheard?

Dude: "Baby, your pants are like a mirror."
Girl: "What??"
Dude: "I see myself in them!"

Bwwahhahaha!

There are some cute chicks who fall for the wrong kinda pickup lines. That's what confuses the men!!

electro-kevin said...

I saw Hot Fuzz last night actually. Typical country policing I might add. Some funny gags and one of the goriest films I've seen in a long time.

I hate pick up lines and have never EVER used them. The one I hate most and tends to be used frequently by Irishmen for some inexplicable reason :

Guy "Did you hurt yourself ?"
Gal "When ?"
Guy "When you fell down from heaven."

Puke !

Most of my Irish friends are far more inventive than that. Why oh why do they do it ???

The worst one I had personally was "I'll suck your big dick for 5 bucks." I was at work at the time.

Sarah said...

you liked that pick up line when i said it to you!

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

That is a truly awful chat up line.

I hate to tell you, Jenny, we have loads of accents over here- my accent is as different to a Londoner's as yours would be to someone from the Deep South.

Northern accents are different again, you can hardly understand them.

Christie said...

She should be the first to be knocked down during the escape drill you guys are having. That should shut her damn mouth for awhile, don't you think?

Hammer said...

talladega is one of my favorites, I'll have to check out hot fuzz for sure now.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Dyck: Excuse me, but do you have any toilet paper?

Chick: Umm, no.

Dyck: That's too bad. 'Cause you're so fucking gorgeous, I just shat myself!

(Works every time.)

fatwonkkid said...

occasionally I hear people in the bathroom on the cell phone. if it is a person I don't like, i start flushing the toilet and making loud, wet, obnoxious fart noises.

Cece said...

I love a girl who's not afraid to say FUCK on her blog. Especially over and over. Makes me feel like I've known you forever!

George said...

There is a guy at work who pulls the same shit as the chick behind you. He is across a divider from me and if he isn't on Facebook, he is playing games. And he laughs about it and gets really excited if he is about to win ... I don't care if he plays that crap ... just shut the fuck up and not throw it in my face that you have nothing to do and I am drowning in work

Ashley said...

The dinner prayer in Talladega Nights is one of my favs. That clip was fricking hilarious.

chuckdaddy2000 said...

Work and life are always getting in the ways of blogging!

Sassy Blondie said...

Jenny-I don't even get the lines anymore. They simply go to, "So when am I gonna get a look at those?"

random moments said...

I seriously love your use of the word "fuck". It inspires me to use it every day in a unique way.

Hey maybe you should unplug phone slut's phone every day. After a week she may get the hint.

RevRee said...

Watched Hot Fuzz the other night, Great movie! A suggestion, watch Black Snake Moan, amazing movie!

Oh yeah, and 300...is it legal for those guys to look so damn HOT! I almost have an orgasm thinking about it!

GRRRRROWL!

*cough* sorry...

Flyinfox_SATX said...

Jenni,

If you haven't noticed, we love reading your blog for the sake of reading your blog. I love the comments you leave on mine...funny ass shit!

Anywho, just serve the chick behind you a nice cup of STFU and go on with your day.

Yeah, men suck! Especially those with the bad pick up lines. You know they don't get out much.

Enjoy your week! Thanks for stoppin by my blog.

Flyinfox_SATX

EmRocks said...

I'm going to spencers tomorrow, he's no good at picking out underwear anyhow!!! ha

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

We'll take a shot at some cooter from time to time. Lines may not work all the time, but sometimes, they get you into a conversation.

Michael C said...

Why again didn't Talladega nights win an Oscar? Will Ferrell, NASCAR, cussin' kids. It had all the elements...

TheBirdman33 said...

I have Hot Fuzz at my apartment along with The Shooter but I haven't had time to watch either of them. After your rousing endorsement I will make time tomorrow night!

TheBirdman33 said...

Walker and Texas Ranger are pretty bad ass and funny little bastards.

"I like to pray to little baby Jesus"

TheBirdman33 said...

Oh, I wanted to know what happened in the Black Dahlia but I didn't have the patience to watch it.

I heard NOTHING good about that movie

RAFFI said...

always works:

well, here i am. what were your other two wishes?

as for fatty at the desk, i like thumb tacks on the seat

can't wait to see 'hot fuzz' now. bourne ultimatum was fkn amazing!!

Em said...

Hot Fuzz rocks! Pegg/Frost/Wright are gods...I've always had a bizarre crush on Simon Pegg (Nicholas Angel) - its a kooky geek thing...mm....Check out Shaun of the Dead and the TV series Spaced if you get the chance (Spaced is seriously good stuff).

Watched the Black Dahlia...snore...the period backdrop looked good but even when the reveal came at the end it was wank!

How long is the cover girl there for? Are you senior? Tell her to take her calls outside of work (or just smash her teeth in...)

phishez_rule said...

Pick up lines are so pathetic. Luckily I have come up with a few foolproof rejections lines. My favourite has to be

Guy: *insert lame line here*
Me: I'm going over there now.

And I just walk off. By the time they figure out you rejected them you're gone. There's also

Guy: What's your number
Me: 04 NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

Kelly said...

loved hot fuzz!!
Wanted to see Black Dahlia, but have heard it wasn't that great... *sigh*
Did someone actually use that line on you? That is the lamest thing I have ever heard! How stupid and unorginal is that guy?

Mike M said...

For a girl with huge balls you say fuck a lot.

Go see The Bourne Ultimatum

mutleythedog said...

How would anyone use a chat line like that? Hot fuzz was great, never been to see the Dahlia thing - is it about gardening? I loved the Simpsons piss take of a British TV show where everyone swears and hits each other all the time... we are very weird I am afraid to say.

mutleythedog said...

Take a water melon to the office. Sit it on your desk and talk to it all the time.

Swig water from a Vodka bottle as though you are hiding it...

Stand up and salute when you take a call and just say "Yes sir!" three times, then sit back down again...

Order a pizza for her..

Anonymous said...

Yeah, a glance at the ravings of the British contributors on this does show some weirdness.

captain corky said...

Work fucking sucks and so do stupid people. If there's ever an emergency, just leave her in the building. Fuck her.

NamesAreHardToPick said...

Hey! Not all guys are like that. I don't get the line though, A-P-O-L ... ? That was just dumb anyway. Slap him.

honkeie2 said...

I want to see Hot Fuzz and saw that Black...whatever...movie. And I did not like it too much. Oh well, they all cannt be blockbusters.
And I have never used a line on a woman.....well I used a cloths line once to tie one up and drag her to my car. But besides that I usually just go up to them and say,
"I promise not to stick it in your brown eye and I will sleep in the wet spot."
And its all roses after that.

Charlie said...

Ok. Hot fuzz and talledega nights also made me snort with laughter. the last one that made me do that was 'music and lyrics'..saw that 2 days ago and some of the lines are pure class! Was also bored rigid by the black dahlia. Couldnt have cared less about the movie...in fact i dont think i finished watching it..

Heart Of Darkness said...

Haha, nice pickup line! Here's one that didn't work on me:

'Come sit in my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up!'

Men! Can't live with them, illegal to shoot them...

Crashdummie said...

"fucktard", that's the first time I hear that expression... so totally gonna use that.

I have wanted to see Hot Fuzz for so long cuz it just seems so crazy. And I too havea soft spot for english accent

Paul Champagne said...

Ahhh ... but a really good pick-up line will get a girl to talk to you that normally wouldn't give you the time of day.

Have you ever seen a really stunning woman with an average looking guy? Well, guaranteed ... that guy had a good pick-up line to get that girl to see past his appearance.

Women don't use pick-up lines, they have found something much better it's called a push-up bra.

Jenny! said...

Thanks everyone for you comments, you all crack me up!

Nocturnal said...

Your the second person to talk about this movie, I'll have to check it out.

Keshi said...

LOL @apologize!

One day at a party a guy asked me if we've met b4...I said NO. And he goes 'ur face is quite familiar'. I said ok. And he goes 'it's very familiar in my future'.

I rolled eyes n walked away!

Keshi.

The Man at the Pub said...

If you haven't seen "Shaun of the Dead", you must see it...immediately. It's the funniest movie ever.

snowelf said...

Best "pickup line" I ever had used on me was by my guy best friend on the phone. (Pay attention boys, if you say it right, it's damn adorable)
Okay, so it was a really freakin' hot day, like over 100 degrees and he goes "Hey! It's almost as hot out here as you."

:)
--snow, still wanting to see Hot Fuzz!! I am SO behind!

Fever Dog said...

Looking like a fucktard isn't attractive? Maybe that's where I've been going wrong. Damn.

minijonb said...

i watched both of these films with Lisa in the past month. Dahlia bit hard, but we loved watching Hot Fuzz for the second time. i still love the whole bit with the swan and P.I. Staker. hehehe.