Last night was my Summer outing for work aboard the Odyssey. I have been on the Odyssey before and have loved it every time. You can't even feel this boat move it is so smooth. I am pretty sure that this is where I want to have my wedding!
I was a bit hesitant to go because I have only worked at my job for 3 months and I don't really know people all that well yet. I have a few buddies, but no one I would really consider a friend. I got on the chartered bus that would take us to Navy Pier and it started pouring...like the sky opened up and let the oceans fall. Of course when it rains I am always wearing a white shirt...no umbrella (who needs it)...and I got drenched. Whatever, it's only water! I fucking hate people that complain about the rain ruining their hair, blah blah blah...it's fucking water...get over it...your hair looked like shit before anyway! A few people weren't going to go because of the rain...what a bunch of chicken shits! I stood on the outside deck with a glass of wine, a cigarette and watched the most amazing lightning over the lake! 
There was full open bar all night and it was like a contest to see who could drink the most free liquor. We boarded the boat and it was like a mad dash to the bar. I was on the first bus to arrive and there were people already on their second drink before I was even fully in the boat! They had a DJ on one floor that played the fucking annoying songs like "Macarena" and "Electric Slide" and a jazz band on the other floor that was magnificent. A full buffet of really good food on both floors (traditional fair). The most fantastic white cheddar mashed potatoes you could imagine. The desserts were a bit...average...but good nonetheless. I would probably eat my own arm after 5 glasses of wine and 3 cocktails!
You guys should all be proud of me...I only said, "fuck" like 5 times! I behaved myself and didn't fall off the boat! The rain only lasted about 20 minutes and we had a wonderful sunset that back dropped Chicago's awesome skyline. I forget how amazing the skyline is until I am on the water...beautiful! Chicago has got one of the best skyline's in the world, second to Hong Kong. I am a bit biased, but sue me...I can be!
The only thing that was disappointing about the whole night was that it was employees only, no spouses or significant others allowed. It would have been nice to have Don there with me (or Jeanette, Sarah and Ashley...they count as one)!
Oh, and one other disappointing thing was that there wasn't any wild sex or outrageous behavior. When talking with my boss about the past parties a few years back hosted by The Firm, it was basically a fuckfest of secretaries getting all dolled up to screw the partners and the attorneys leaving wives behind so that they could get some action. My boss walked in on people doing the nasty on the couches, people sucking face with the managing partners who are like 85 on the dance floor, and secretaries baring all in tit shows! There have also been a few harassment lawsuits since those times, so I think that the attorneys find their side dishes somewhere else besides work now.
Best quote from my boss:
"Men get hard and they need to stick it somewhere!"
49 comments:
Cool beans!
I mean, the boat trip anyway.
I love corporate parties that have open bar. It gives you a chance to tell people what you really think and you know they won't remember it in the morning. Plus, none of the bible thumpers will go because alcohol is the devils drink.
Open bar is always an invitation for the drunkety drunk drunk game.
gotta love free booze ... drink enough of it and you don't care about there being no sex ... it's hard to have sex when you're passed out anyway.
And the fuckfests were in the days BEFORE cell-phone cameras. *sigh*
What'd you use to keep track of your drinks? Empty cups stacked within themselves? Tally marks on your arm? Inquiring minds want to know!
I'm proud for you Jenny!. It sounds like there were so many possibilities to cause craziness that it was sick, but you chose to be good.
However......
If the boss was not there I would expect to read about you in the morning paper taking over the ship. If not, then I would be disappointed
Sounds like a great evening. Then again anything with an open bar can be turned into a great evening! lol
I've only been to Chicago once & enjoyed Navy Pier!
"Men get hard and they need to stick it somewhere!"
They stick it in a microwaved watermelon in certain parts of the world.
Yeah the good old days of fun in the office are long gone. The best they get now is a self spank in the handicap stall.
We only office Xmas parties here.
I remember one year one of the directos shut the free bar until a few of the employees took a taxi back to the Travel Lodge, Then the free bar reopened.
Somewhat later, one of the directors approached me and asked if it was a true that the party would be continuing at my room in the Travel Lodge. I confirmed it was, but that he might see things he didn't want to, and that come Jan 3rd, we'd wish he hadn't.
He come out straight and said if I was referring to illicit activity, he didn't care, but he had a crate of beer to bring along.
He also insisted on watching hardcore porn on the TV and told me not to worry, he was paying the bill for my room anyway.
I can still remember him and me, sharing a joint singing the laughing gnome to one of the engineers we had decided was a gnome.
Wow, you guys are lucky. Teacher parties are usually pot locks. Oh there was that one year we went to Fuddruckers. ROCK ON FUDDRUCKERS!!!
You know I thought the same thing just yesterday. What every happened to fun at work. They always quit just before we got here. I hate being professional. No wonder people are going postal these days.
Wow sounds like a fab time. I was going to have a rant about how I wasn't invited but then I read the employees only bit. I'm sure you would of took me along otherwise. As for the lack of 'action' onboard, again I should of been invited.
(isn't the internet great, you can sound like a sex god and no one knows any different)
Sounds like you had fun, even if you didn't get to watch any employee-only sex shows. Shame about the annoying dj, I hope he didn't play that terrible "funky town" song :)
Zen:
Yeah, no naughty office sex...so doesn't deserve cool beans!
Christie:
Tru dat!
MyUtopia:
I love that game!
Paul:
You drink too much and your member doesn't work!
Brian In Oxford:
Oh this was too classy to count cups or keep tally on your arm...instead we counted by throwing them against the bar! Damn me being a year too late for the fuckfests!!!
Mike M:
You should be disappointed in me...my boss wasn't there...it was almost completely "staff" meaning no attorneys! I didn't even dance!
Cece:
Open bar means you can turn the shittest party into something quite fantastic. I don't really like Navy Pier...except for the fact taht you board you boat there!
Gorilla:
How big is your microwave...a watermelon wouldn't fit in mine! Could I still eat the melon after things have been stuck in?
Hammer:
Gross...masturbating in the work bathroom...and in the handicapped stall!!! I do like self-spank...will be using that thanks!
Crushed:
I think I was at the party! Did you guys totally do it later???
ChuckDaddy:
Fudruckkers is the shit! You teachers can get a bit wild at potlucks! I worked in education for 10 years before this...damn crazy people!
Inside of Me:
Its because of all the fucking law suits and shit...nothing wrong with tit grabbing...just kick them in the balls...that is better justice than som stupid lawsuit!
James:
You were top on my list, cuz I know how you roll with with the crazy sex! You would be a good time!
Fever Dog:
You name the cheesy song...they played it! The jazz band made up for it!
Damn, food, booze, women, a boat and the Chicago skyline!! That's gotta be an AWESOME combo :-)
Glad you had such a nice time.
I wanna work for "The firm" where there are fuckfests of all sorts. I'm quite sure the place I'll be working at will have NO such thing. Plenty of old stuck up ppl over there, I'll be lucky if there's even Macarena.
I'll have to get my action on the side!!
I'm not sure I want your boss to give the closing argument on my next Title VII case, however--
"Men get hard and need to stick it somewhere..."
I dunno...do they have all-male juries up there??
Yoda:
I bet those nerds are going to shock the shit out of you...they are all probaly crazy sex freaks!
Zen:
Does it cast doubt??? I think it would win!
I woke up next morning, still dressed. The TV was still on (still showing porn). the room must have contained thirty carling bootles (some empty, a few half empty, most containing ash) white powder residue over every surface in there.
And a hangover.
Crushed:
What a fun time! At least you were still fully dressed and your boss didn't take advantage of you!
wow nice. We went on a luxury dinnee n dance cruise for my mum's bday last year.
Keshi.
You've been tagged! If you have already been tagged, ignore this message.
Ok, that old fart is just scary.
Jenny:
Nice...:) I need to go back to school and study law it would seem...Well done for behaving yourself (though its a shame there were no high jinx - not even any drinking games).
So the it was back to normal in the office the next day then?
I go to my wives work parties all the time...open bar and I am there. But I was hoping to see some pictures here!
Keshi:
I really love these cruises...nice present for her!
Namesarehardtopick:
Will check!
Nocturnal:
Old farts tend ot be that way!
Em:
Yes, it was very normal the next day...no drinking games that I at least know of! I was a tad disappointed with the no-sex acts situation!
Honkeie2:
You can't pass up open bar!
jenny ... that's o-kay, if I drink too much and it doesn't work ... I won't remember anyway.
Paul:
Tru...either would I! You could just be like, that was the best sex ever...and I would be like...yes, amazing!
yeah ... I've used that line before. :D
Okay, this is off-topic, but can I just say that your kid is ADORABLE!! Love those pics of him! You don't really want him, do you? Because if not, I would totally take him.
I was really upset that they didn't allow significant otheres too! I hope you were one of the sem-finalists of the drinking competition.
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