Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Why We Fuck!

I found this article and I thought it would be more appropriate to use fuck instead of mate...but whatever, I don't work for the New York Times. If you don't want to read the article, here's the basics...some psychologist dudes who, were severely overworked and severely undersexed, decided to study the motivations behind sex. What they came up with is 237 reasons for why people have sex.

Here are a few of my favorites:

“help me fall asleep”
“make my partner feel powerful”
“burn calories”
“return a favor”
“keep warm”
“hurt an enemy”
“change the topic of conversation”
“It seemed like good exercise”
“Someone dared me”
“to get rid of a headache”
“I was drunk”
“I wanted to feel closer to God”
"I wanted to express my love for the person”
“I was sexually aroused and wanted the release”
“It’s fun.”
“I was slumming.”
“the opportunity presented itself”
“the person demanded that I have sex.”

The 237 reasons were then broken down into 4 categories:

*Physical: “The person had beautiful eyes” or “a desirable body,” or “was good kisser” or “too physically attractive to resist.” Or “I wanted to achieve an orgasm.”

*Goal Attainment: “I wanted to even the score with a cheating partner” or “break up a rival’s relationship” or “make money” or “be popular.” Or “because of a bet.”

*Emotional: “I wanted to communicate at a deeper level” or “lift my partner’s spirits” or “say ‘Thank you.’ ” Or just because “the person was intelligent.”

*Insecurity: “I felt like it was my duty” or “I wanted to boost my self-esteem” or “It was the only way my partner would spend time with me.”


I wish they did a study of motivations of why people DON'T have sex! Here's the thing that motivates me NOT to have sex...having Don say, "not tonight, my ass stinks!" or anything related to swamp ass, swaint, testickies or swalls!


Mike M said...

Why Not To Fuck:

"She has balls. Big ones. Not little hairy orange-like ones"

random moments said...

You're so dirrrty... and I like it!

Why I F*%k - Beats washing the dishes. Tightens my ass. Gives me good sleep. Oh, and my boyfriend is fucking hot.

Christie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
-Papa said...

The reason I knock boots:
Because she's there.

The reason I don't knock boots:
Because she's not there.

captain corky said...

“I wanted to feel closer to God”

That one takes the cake! The reason I like sex is because I like to fuck. It feels so fucking good. Even better after smoking a joint. Sometimes.

James said...

Your ass smells?....eeuuuuwww

Jeannie said...

Why to? It just always feels good.

Why not? Being sick or have severe gas that might not be just gas...
or out of consideration to people who are within hearing distance

honkeie2 said...

"because I was hard" is my personal reason to why I do the nasty.
"because she said no" is usually the only reason I dont get any.
But then again I am really good at hand to gland combat with Captain PinkStaff. So self love is sex to right?

Lucy said...

This is a really interesting study. I'm convincing that society's motivations are based on sex. This just proves it! More fodder for standup! Thank you!

Sassy Blondie said...

Why ask why? Ask not what sex can do for you, but what you will do for sex.

George said...

Jenny ... you beat me to this one. I got the list of 237 and some are really bizarre. Good post sweetie

Sassy Blonde struck one of the reasons mentioned in the study ... vecause somebody gave me drugs in exchange ...

It feels great is my favorite reason and cannot understand why people don't want to ... idiots

Anonymous said...

hahaha! Great study!

random made me laugh, and Christie made me very sad.

Oh... Christie! You need to figure that shit out! And Quick!

NamesAreHardToPick said...

Probably intimacy would be at the top of my list, or if it's just a fling, for fun. Either way, I'm wondering what was the difference in the responses between those who were married and those who were not.

Fever Dog said...

That list is nowhere near messed up enough

Bugwit said...

Best reason: She has really huge, perky natural tits. Oh, yeah. I said natural.

Hammer said...

I think people do it for the same reason dogs do it. I think people make it too complicated.

Jenny! said...

Mike M:
That's a good reason! I promise I don't really have balls!

Random Moments:
Great reasons...but I alwasy have my dishes washed!

Girl, you need to let loose! I bet you would be totally buck wild!

That is helpful...having someone there! You are easy to please!

Dude you fucking rock!

NO! My fiance's ass smelled and taht is what he told me to get me off of him!

It's more fun when other people can hear you!

No means no...go stick your hard on somewhere else!

You are welcome! Of course the world is all motivated by sells! The world revolves around sex!

Exactly right! These psycologist nerds need to get laid!

Right, name two things better than having sex...besides like your kids kind of thing! Not one comes to mind! Why not have sex!!!

I think Random, you and I should stage an intervention for Christie...we can throw a sex party! Or higher a stripper to come to her house!

I don't know if they seperated married v. single, but there were differences between male v. female! Females were more likely to say things like relating to intimacy, and males were more like the fun thing! But I think the top 10 answers were equally divided between male and females!

Fever Dog:
Yeah, I was expecting some really great ones!

You can't beat natural!

Ha ha! Tru dat!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...


Nocturnal said...

“I wanted to feel closer to God” - Nine Inch Nails

Yes... I got that one.

And Yes, wild sex to blaring NINdustrial rock music is the way to go.

Anonymous said...

I agree! We could do all take the stripper thing together!! :-)

blog Portland said...

I guess my only reason is "she's not moving."

snowelf said...

All I know is I won't have sex with selfish bastards.
Otherwise, if you're giving and trustworthy, I'm pretty much game.


Crushed by Ingsoc said...

This post is very true.
I spend way too much working and not enough time fucking.

When I'm asked the question, 'Why did you fuck her?', I simply say 'My selfish genes made me do it.'

It never washes.

Paul Champagne said...

Why not to f*%k ... she's drunk

No matter how much you try, you cannot satisfy a drunk chick

And getting puked on is not my idea of an aphrodisiac.

The Diva's Thoughts said...

Swaint...Swalls??? EEEIIIIWWW!! LOL

Jenny! said...

Bugs Butt:
I know!

Good song! I want to feel you from the inside!

Good plan, now where are we all going ot move?

Blog Portland:
You should call 911 if that's the case...or do you just dig dead chicks!

Girl, you are game for everything!

I wonder why?

You are correct...vomit really kills the mood!

Diva's Thoughts:
Tres disgusting!

RAFFI said...

why i fk: cus i'm horny
why i don't fk: cus i just did

Jenny! said...

Very logical!

Yoda said...

I think I should stay out of this one for obvious reasons!


Anonymous said...

ummm... somewhere WARM! warm all the time!

Christie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

The only reason I DON'T fuck is when I don't have anyone TO fuck.
Otherwise, I am "in the mood"

Oddly enough, I keep dating girls that only want to once every 3 weeks, it is pretty awful

Flyinfox_SATX said...

Jenny - I would be interested specifically in why YOU Fuck! Care to post?


Jeanette said...

Reason to have sex: What else are you supposed to do in the nightly showers?

Ashley said...

You left off the lowest rated reason, which is my favorite:
"To give someone a sexually transmitted disease." It is amazing what motivates some people!

honkeie2 said...

I have a new one:
"I was in the public restroom and the smell of urinal ments turn me on"
I think george michael said that one.

Just Sayin' said...

“I wanted to feel closer to God”

Who the hell was this person fucking??? Is this a pick up a line for those molesting priests...

"Hey you wanna feel closer to god???"... "Suck this!"