Thursday, August 09, 2007

5 Questions!

Brian In Oxford asked me 5 questions for some interview meme thingy!

* Leave me a comment saying you want five questions for you from me!
* You post the answers to my questions to you on your blog.
* Include these rules and offer to ask your commenter's questions.

1. Are you the kind of mom who's not afraid to wreck your kid's fun and make him cry if he's not behaving appropriately in public?
- I am the queen of wrecking fun! If he's acting like a shit...then he does not get to have fun. I am a mom who believes in limits, boundaries and consequences. Donovan does not run the show...well sometimes he does...but I DO NOT reward bad behavior. Donovan loves to go to Target, probably because he gets a new car toy every time we go, but when he acts up in the store...he gets to wait in the car with daddy until I'm finished shopping. Donovan is a bit spoiled at times, but the like the Rolling Stones song, "You can't always get what you want!"
2. When your book buddies get together, what percentage of the discussion is actually about the book you've read, versus having it untrack into regular chit-chat?
- My book club consists of my closest friends and we have been meeting every month for a year and a half. As of recently, we have spent more time discussing the book but most of our time is spent talking about other things. We have grown as a group and actually have discussions about authors, other books and we share other great books that we have read with each other. Our average meeting last about 5 hours and only about 1 hour (tops) is spent talking book talk. We actually talk a great deal about sex and things that are naughty and inappropriate. Sarah is our resident "expert" in all the lingo and definitions of dirty trombones, pearl necklaces, Cleveland steamer, dirty Sanchez, etc... We have two members who are a bit less "experienced" in the whole being inappropriate about sex so it's always fun when they talk about penis and things. We also play the game "fuck, marry or kill" and have a bit of fun!
3. Will you actually have lunch with Dan Mega any time soon there in Chi-town?
- Dan would like me to buy him lunch, but that's just not how I roll! I would meet him for lunch, but there would be NO hot make-out session included! I am a kept woman and he couldn't afford me anyway...sorry Dan! 4. What are you favorite beer, wine, and mixed drink?
- I hate taste like piss, but I do fancy the new Miller Chill - chelada style (which confuses me because "chelada" reminds me of enchiladas so every time I see that I want Mexican...but Don's there to satisfy my Mexican cravings.) I prefer wine, my favorite being Riesling, but I am not picky, I do enjoy a bottle...I mean glass...of Merlot. I hate champagne with a passion. I like mixed drinks, especially martinis.

5. I'm familiar with your disdain for Britney Spears. If you were alone with her for ten minutes, would you go right after her, or would you lull her into a false sense of comfort before unleashing your attacks, either verbal or other...?
- If I was alone with Brit for ten minutes it would be really hard to control my urge to bitch slap her immediately. But I would probably let her cry it out for about 7 minutes and gain her trust, and then when she least expects it, stab her in the neck and watch her bleed to death. Oh, that sounded very violent, so instead I would just haul off and bitch slap her hard across the face...well, that may not be enough as I am sure K-Fed has already done that and it didn't have an impact, so maybe let her be, take her kids back with me, raise them...and then when they are old enough, let them go back and beat her!


Jeanette said...

Ewww, don't take her kids to raise them. They're way too ugly to be involved with your adoreable Donovan. You do a great job disciplining Donovan when out in public. He's really not a bad boy, but if he gets a little out of hand you know how to settle it without physical abuse (and that's why I don't have kids).

istanbultory said...

Sweeth thang,
Kept woman is right. You are forbidded to contact this Dan Mega guy again. Forget about Dyck too. As for the Book club, invite me along. I have a very particular volume in mind for the ladies. In fact, I have it to hand right now...

Jenny! said...

He is too adorable for Brit's kids!

Do you mind if I call you Stan? Or would you rather have me call you Pimp Daddy? How big is the volume?

honkeie2 said...

your husband doesnt go to Target with u? I love Target!
And if you book club needs anyone to give some visual aides in the kinky department let me know. I am an orgasim donor lol. And I am not cheap with the pearls. And Sanchez is one of best friends.

Jenny! said...

You don't read so good do you? He does go to Target with us, he's the daddy that waits in the car when D's acting bad! Target is my fave store of all time! So you and Sanchez hang out alot together???

istanbultory said...

Stan is good.
The Book club ladies deserve more than a short story. I have something distinctly hefty to present for their delectation.

Brian in Oxford said...

Wow...thank God for wikipedia, looking up some of those. I went one-for-four, I knew what a pearl necklace is...

istanbultory said...

Then there's the strawberry shortcake as well.As far as I know, they are all American folk customs that may surprise unsuspecting European visitors to the USofA.

snowelf said...

Jenny, these were the perfect 5 questions for you! We are so the same type of mom! I have given my children time outs right in the store before and stood waiting for them to serve out their punishment. I am VERY lucky though, cause my kids are usually VERY well behaved in public 99% of the time. They don't run in stores or at restaurants--a MEGA pet peeve of mine--and I have never, ever had to deal with a tantrum over a toy. I'm a total whip cracker when it comes to discipline.

I don't even want to think about Britney's kids and their future antics if that girl doesn't wise up.


Crushed by Ingsoc said...

Ask you to ask me questions?

That's asking for trouble.

This book club doesn't really sound like its actually about books.

Why not just forget the books and have a girlie night out?

Jenny! said...

7 woman for sure need something bigger than a short story!

Brian In Oxford:
You should hang out with my educator Sarah, I swear that girl knows shit that NO human should know!

Do you enjoy water sports?

I am lucky too, Donovan is pretty well behaved, but I think that starts early...because we discipline our children before the bad behaviors start...that's when your in trouble!

We all like to read, and we have girly nite-outs seperate! Book club gives us a good reason! We're all a bunch of nerds! Do you want 5 questions or not?

istanbultory said...

I've certainly viewed a few educational films on the subject of water sports. I'm an avid spectator, even an enthusiast. Mrs IT...less so.
Do I get 5 questions?

Yoda said...

Do try Bombay Sapphire in your martini ... its great :-)

I don't want the hot make out session afterward, but I'd sure like to have lunch with ya!!

Dan Mega said...

Take me to the Signature Room for lunch.

Christie said...

I'm with you on the parenting issues! Kenzie does get away with more, but she's the baby and has us both wrapped around her fat finger. But when the boys get out of line, they get a time-out when we get home.

OK, you can ask me 5 questions.

TheBirdman33 said...

I want to see what 5 questions you would have for me, but I don't think I have the patience to re-post and ask other people things on my blog lol

Sarah said...

my skills have been outed!!!

Jenny! said...

You want 5 questions??? You'll get em all right! Avid water sports fan huh!!!

Let's do lunch then...I can have some Bombay in my martini...liquid lunches kick ass!

Dan Mega:
Then where are you going to take me??? The 95th???

Girls alwasy get off easy! I will get your 5 questions may take a day or so!

You slacker! I will ask you the 5 anyway!

They have been! Now that they are need ot show us!

George said...

Great answers ... I hate children who run rampant in malls, stores ... anywhere. When my daughter was about 4 she started misbehaving in a sears store so I picked her up and she squirmed like a snake, all the while screaming. She went over my shoulder and screamed bloody murder all the way through Sears, the mall and right to the car.

At one point I thought somebody was going to call the cops for kidnapping, battery or something

Akelamalu said...

Great questions but fantastic answers - you make me laugh!

Ashley said...

I think you would attack Britney right away. If you actually had to talk to her for seven minutes to gain her trust, you would probably want to cut your ears off from having to listen to her incessant, idiotic comments.