Wednesday, August 08, 2007

I Love Doritos!

Sometimes I get a bit disappointed in myself for letting Donovan eat last night before bed he had a donut with his milk...yeah, I know not the best before bedtime snack! But I don't feel badly about it because he doesn't eat chocolate donuts before bed every night, he eats pretty well most of the time, so I can't really feel guilty about the occasional slip up. I especially don't feel guilty about that donut after hearing about the poster child for irresponsible parenting: Britney Spears and her fucked up parenting mishaps.

Between her mood swings and partying, the pop star is raising her toddlers, Jayden and Sean, in "chaos," says a family insider. Its been reported that she feeds them "total crap like Doritos and soda" and shoves a bottle of juice in Sean's mouth whenever he cries. One magazine showed an enlarged photo of the kids smile and it reveals brownish teeth, which led Brittany to ask an L.A. dentist if he would whiten Jayden and Sean's teeth! The dentist refused...duh! The kids prefer staying with their dad, Kevin that is proof that it must be really really bad at Brit's place! And K-Fed has stepped up to the parenting plate..."He does not smoke pot around them." Atta boy, Kev! Thanks for being a stand up parent for your two butt-ugly boys! When are those kids going to be taken away? It's fucking sad! I hope they took out Brit's uterus during her c-section...and if not...then someone needs to sterilize that fucking cunt!
Now that chocolate donut for bedtime snack doesn't seem so bad, does it?
Evacutaion news:
The evacuation drill was yesterday and we beat last years time by a whole kick ass is that! I didn't even have to push anyone down the stairs...she fell on her own...I swear I didn't touch her!


Ashley said...

I love your blog, Jenny. It makes me laugh every time I read it.

I am glad those middle aged farts could make it down the stairs.

I think BritBrit is a terrible parent. Her kids are probably dirty, too. Remember when she went to the bathroom at a gas station without shoes on. TWICE! That makes me want to gag.

Jenny! said...

Look at you being #1! I would rather go in my pants then go in a gas station bathroom! What a nasty bitch...I can't belive Sarah loves her!

Hammer said...

My daughters were taken away from their biological mother for doing the exact same thing as Britney.

Hmmm maybe because she's rich she can get away with it.

Yoda said...

Too funny! K-Fed doesnt' smoke pot around his kids :-D What's next, he's gonna be nominated for best parenting award for not driving with his kids on his lap??? Brit already lost that round! Fuckers.

You know, y'day I came across a kinda depressing fact. 6 million kids in the US are obese. Not overweight, but obese. As time goes by, obesity becomes more and more accepted in the society and less of a taboo. I really can't make up my mind whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.

blog Portland said...

Those kids are going to have some awesome stories. Provided they actually survive long enough to get a book deal.

random moments said...

*cracking up* Poor Brit- she really needs to be committed.

You can't feel bad about an occasional donut and milk before bed. He'll look back fondly on those little memories.

Congrats on the drill time. I knew you had it in you!

P.S. - I LOVE DORITOS. 'specially Cool Ranch. Oh yeah!

fatwonkkid said...

seriously...comparing your parenting skills to Britney Spears is like comparing my running abilities to a quadriplegic. That really isn't a comparison you should be proud of :)

and by the way, it is pretty sad that K-Fed is the "responsible" parent...

honkeie2 said...

You did not let KFed finish his ryhme:
Look kids,
You can be just like me,
Singin on da stage grabin yo peepee,
You wont have to wash or use soap,
You can be like me and be a useless, dirty, smelly WANT-TA-BE!

istanbultory said...

Britney needs to make a turn in her life, go home, mop the floor, put a load of laundry in the washer, feed the kids and tell them she's going to be a real mom. Are you with me on this one, ladies? By the way, is she wearing her skivvies again......

zen wizard said...

My employees have an evacuation drill every day--it's called, "quitting time"!

I haven't seen the dead come back to life so quickly, absent a George Romero directing credit, ever.

electro-kevin said...

You can't be hungry - I fed you yesterday.

Could be a caption to one of her photos with the kids.

What a dweeb.

NamesAreHardToPick said...

Whatever Jenny, you know you pushed her, haha.

Yeah, that's so true, though. If you ever think you aren't being a great parent, just read about celebrities. They make everyone look good!

Sarah said...

congrats on the drill, when will you know if you beat the Sears Tower???

My girl brit, it is just so sad. It seems like a combination of being dumb, post pardum depression and being sad.

captain corky said...

Poor, poor Britney. She was perfect once upon a time...

PS I love Doritos and coke. Does that make me a bad human being? LOL

Brian in Oxford said...

I thought you'd push them out a WINDOW rather than the stairs! Let's see....time = the square root of (height divided by 16), no? Think what you could have saved THAT way :)

Anyways, the only doritos I like have been:
taco bell flavor
pizza hut flavor
black pepper jack

what's the deal with the X-13 flavor they don't mention? I looked at the ingredients and it sounded like cheeseburger flavored, so I passed.

Christie said...

But she's country, ya'll! I can't believe that was her excuse. Um, I went to school where people killed things before school and brought it to show off, and my kids don't eat like that and are ALWAYS in their car seats. I bet she ends up in a gutter somewhere.

Mike M said...

I'm proud of you Jenny!. I get the urge to push people out of my wasy to in a disaster.

B$K need to be wiped from the earth! Dumb asses.

Way to use the C word!!

-Papa said...

Good Blogger,
Good Fire Drill/Evac Mama,
Good Parent.

Not too shabby, but can you cook? ;P

Hey, I let my kid have a small treat once in awhile, it's part of growing up and convincing your kid to not dump you in an abusive nursing home when you turn old.

Honestly, good job all around.

Heart Of Darkness said...

Feeling guilt is good - means you're doing about 98% right, and those 2% you do wrong are just adding a little fun to your and Donovan's lives!!!!

Oh, and do NEVER compare youself with Britney "Oooups!... I did it again" Spers! Whatever she's having might be contageous - get away from that cesspool of screwup!

Crushed by Ingsoc said...

I like Doritoes actually.

I known someone who smokes pot in front of the kids. They don't know what it is, but call it 'special cigarretes'. I point out to him, that's very silly.
Kids talk at school.

Cece said...

Now THIS is the type of celeb gossip I enjoy!

Diesel said...

I never HAVE to push people down the stairs, but I just enjoy it so darn much.

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Don't be dissing Doritos, baby. They have elements of all four food groups: the flour group, the salt group, the powdered cheese group, and the cholesterol group.

Paul Champagne said...

Thats why I always wait for the grandkids to go to sleep ... before I break out my evening munchies

Wouldn't want to set a bad example.

Keshi said...

yep I read that abt she's bringing up the lil ones. wut can I say....very unfortunate kids!


Cappy said...

Brittany's not only a bad mom, she's a bum lay too! I should know. Me and 471,191 other red blooded Americans!

Jenny! said...

That is really sad, they are in such better hands now with you and your wife.

K-Fed is a poor excuse for a father, but he does seem more equiped than Brit!

Blog Portland:
True...I can't wait to read it...but I doubt they will ever be able toread or write themselves...that doesnt seem a priority in the Spears house!

Random Moments:
Cool Ranch are the best! Brit needs help!

It is sad that K-Fed's the better parent! I wasn't really comparing, she just makes me feel less guilty!

That was a great K-Fed wanna be!

Istanbul Tory:
She just needs to be put down! I would hate to be her skivies...all those crabs!

2 minutes after quitting time, work is like a ghost town!

Dick cheese does not constitute a real meal!

I know, but that's so distrubing...they are such sucky parents and they are the ones in the spotlight...they should be good at it! Have you heard that Nicole Ritchie's pregnant...fuck me...that is scary!

I don't think that PPD can be fully blamed here, why have her kids not been taken away?

I love Doritos and Diet Coke! Your not a bad human being as long as you don't feed that to Max out of a bottle!

Brian In Oxford:
The Taco Bell flavored ones are the shit! I forgot about those! The windows are too hard to break!

I forgot about that piss poor excuse! What trash she is!

Mike M:
The C word is one of my faves! I totally agree that the world would be a better place w/o both of them!

Thanks! Treats make childhood fun! Kids are so easy to please...give them a sucker and you can cut their hair as short as you want! And, I can cook...kind of!

Heart of Darkness:
Oh, I know that I am a much better parent than Brit, but she just makes me feel like an even better jparent!

I like Doritos too! Thats are so much smarter than we think!

Celeb gossip is usually not my thing, but its the ridiculous stuff the really gets my attention...did you know that Nicole Ritchie is pregnant!

Pushing people can be fun...especially when they get hurt!

I ain't be dissin Doritos...I be dissin Brittany!

YOu have grandkids?????????? That way you don't have to share you snacks either!

It is really unfortunate for those kids...but they aren't cute at all either...not that it justifys treating them terribly!

HAR said...

I think the kids are very cute. What does that have to do with being a good parent? Obviously you are just kidding.

Palm Springs Savant said...

very funny. I agree with ashley, your blog is a great read, a total "pick me up" happy attitiude. Anyway, britney is SUCH a mess, don;t worry about being a bad mommy compared to her!

snowelf said...

WTG on your evac!!!

Too bad Britney doesn't work in your building... you could have "encouraged" her down the stairs.


Em said...

Nice one on the fire/evacuation drill - making your day just that little bit better (yey, less time at work!)

Britney's a selfish child, leave her too it (her kids'll get taken away at some point, hopefully soon). Almost as sad (when you admit it)is our fascination with such high profile dick heads...It's perversely gratifying to see rich beautiful people make such a hash (boom boom) of their lives...We just can't help it - they're such dumbasses...Maybe Brit'll shape up....any bets?

honkeie2 said...

During your 'drill' did you co-a-real on anyone?
I used to do that all the time during fire drills when I was in skool. Before anyone was old enough to press sexual harasment law suites hahahaha

Michael C said...

I have been known to sugarize the girls too close to bedtime. I felt bad about it until reading about Britney. I thought Darwin's natural selection was supposed to ensure that she couldn't breed....

A whole minute off your evacuation time? That's impressive!!! So, who from last year was dragging your time down?? ;-)

Akelamalu said...

Give your boy two dozen doughnuts and you still wouldn't be as bad as Britney!

Well done on the Evacuation Drill - you sure you didn't push her????

Jenny! said...

I am always kidding! I don't think those kids are cute though, but cuteness factor doesn't have anything to do with parenting!

Palm Springs Savant:
Thanks...I am just a "pick me up" kind of girl! Glad you enjoy!

I would have "encouraged" Brittney to a window instead!

I would bet that Brittney will continue on her downward spiral, her kids will be taken away, she will then have an enlightening time in rehab, and come out a changed, sophisticated woman...and make a come back!

You're a pervert! I don't want to bad touch anyone in my building...yuck!

Michael C:
All of them were dragging our time down! Sugar before bed helps them sleep better...right?

Thanks! And, no I didn't push her...I promise...she tripped!

Anonymous said...

What a kicker. Super famous Brit Brit is going to have the smelly kids in class. Her classiness astounds me. And that is coming FROM ME! LOL!

I honestly feel really bad for those kids. Can you imagine what they are going to turn out to be?

Congrats on the time! You crack me up!

captain corky said...

What's going on Jenny?

Jeanette said...

How many times in rehab until she's enlightened?
If you don't give Donovan little treats here and there he will be come obese. Once he's old enough to get his hands on his own snack food he'll go crazy and blow up like a balloon. We always ate crap and I can actually decline food now so that I'm no a complete fat ass.

Are you kidding...Taco Bell Doritos! Those must only be found in heaven.

briliantdonkey said...

yeah yeah they all fell down on their own.....don't you say that every single year? Oh well, a minute is a minuute!


Anonymous said...

I had been looking forward to Britney's downfall so I could see her do porn, but she can't even self destruct properly!!! Her body is falling apart and no one is gonna want to put her in Skinamax movies!

But in her day, she was the best lip syncer EVER!

Anonymous said...

oh yeah,
and I dig your blog too.