I have been working in Chicago for almost three months now and one thing that annoys the shit out of me is stilettos.
Now, my understanding of stilettos is that they are enticing and sexy to the male species. They elongate a woman's legs and make her calves look gorgeous, and isn't it every man's fantasy to have sex with a woman wearing only her high heels? 
Here's my problem...it is not the shoes that are at fault...but the person wearing the shoes. I don't understand how if you can't walk in high heels, why on earth you would wear them. There is nothing sexy (even remotely clumsy-sexy) about a woman who can't handle her shoes. When you waddle like a handicapped duck down the street, the last thing on any one's mind is how sexy you are. When you stumble every five steps...it is so not hot! 
The other problem I have...again it's not the shoes...is that woman who have fat fucking feet will wear tight strapy shoes and then the fat like pours out all muffin top like...it grosses me out. I have to admit that I find feet a bit repulsive anyway...I am not interested in licking any one's toes or having mine licked. Why would you wear shoes that make your feet look like over stuffed sausages? 
It has gotten to the point now that I can barely keep from laughing every time I see these sights...and let me tell you, it happens all the fucking time! I do like high heels, except I make sure that I can physically walk in them. The only exception is if you buy the shoes for the purpose of sex...not for street walking!
One last problem...woman complain and bitch about how much their shoes hurt but continue to buy high heels. You have no right to bitch and complain about your feet hurting as if you were mutilating your vagina, when you purchase those types of shoes and choose to wear them!
I have to share this bizarre wish/fantasy of mine...I find myself thinking this whenever some homeless guy walks by. I imagine that this bum grabs my purse and runs off with it...but to stop him I take off my stiletto and throw it at his head, piercing his skull! Is that weird???
I have to share this bizarre wish/fantasy of mine...I find myself thinking this whenever some homeless guy walks by. I imagine that this bum grabs my purse and runs off with it...but to stop him I take off my stiletto and throw it at his head, piercing his skull! Is that weird???There is nothing sexy about a girl who can't handle her heels!
66 comments:
I as a man, don't personally care much for the heels. Ho hum, it might be a tad bit sexier to do a woman who has ONLY heels on ... but I can live without it. What usually gets my attention is tall(er) women. I just have a thing going on for tall women :-D
Yoda:
You should start hanging around female basketball players!!!
Interesting, never tried it with a woman keeping her heels on, and I have to say I'd be a bit wary of those spikes thrashing around while I'm in the buff! Still, nothing ventured...
Loaf:
I like your name! Just make sure that the woman your with doesn't want to kill you!!!
That last picture... I don't know what I'm feeling about it. Anyway. I'd rather have a woman in just a pair of DMs than I would high heels. And I've never noticed the fat feet/muffin effect, I will now -- thanks :p
Fever Dog:
I kind of like the last picture...found it and thought it would be interesting! What are DM's? Look for fat feet...so fucking gross!
High heels sexy? Bah, nothing supersedes the ultimate and palpable sexiness of a woman with the ninja skills of killing someone with a stiletto shoe, unless of course it's Jessica Alba or Melissa Theuriau doing the actual shoe throwing, then hell, they could be throwing converse high tops and it wouldn't matter.
Papa:
Ninja skills huh???
Yes "Ninja skills," like "Bo staff skills," or "Bow hunting skills." In short, strong confident women are sexy, and if they can assassinate a male mugger all the better. What other skills are in your possession or can you tell us then have to kill us with stiletto shoes thrown from the roof of the Hancock building?
Papa:
I bet you would like to see my nunchuck skills!
Nunchuck skills, YES!, Woodchucking skills, NO! :P
I love heels Jenny ... but don't go anywhere in them other than up the hotels grand stair way....
female basketball players can probably toss me aside ... thanks, but no thanks ... I'll pass on those!
Papa:
What's wrong with a girl that knows how to handle wood????
Mutley:
I think stairs are easier to manage than flat streets in heels!
Yoda:
What about volleyball players...they look a bit manly...so they are out...what about....hmmm...let me think on this!
I've never had a foot fetish... and now, after reading this post, I'm kinda scared of feet. Thanks.
Minijonb:
Sorry!
Nothing wrong with a girl that can handle wood, hence Nunchuck and Bo staff skills are great, but woodchuck skills? Woodchucks look like beavers so do you mean skills in handling your own beaver, or someone else's beaver? ;)
I think Yoda is looking for tall Models who walk on runways, or attractive women of typical height who walk on stilts. :)
Papa:
I would assume that beavers would know how to handle theirs and others. 1st hand experience is key!
One should never ASSuMe. :D
Now I understand how you got that "NC-17" blog rating.
Papa:
This is not the first time I have assumed! Ha!
The Cherry Ride:
It took you that long to understand??? I guess those sharts are affecting your brain!
Anger issues? LMAO Yeah, I'm not much of a high heel wearing woman. And the good thing is I KNOW that so I don't even try to fake the funk, you know?
I'm so much not a heel wearing woman that for my wedding I wore tennis shoes! I shit you not. You know those cute little round chunky Sketcher type shoes? I wore those w/blue shoe laces and had my wedding dress altered to the perfect floor length of my tennis shoes! I was comfortable all day & no one was any wiser. ;-)
The shoes are cute, and look great. However, I choose not to wear them because they do hurt.
I admit, boots are quite erotic, especially knee length...
I love PVC as well...
Ok, I have nothing to say about shoes, but I love the post anyway!!
I found a couple of those the last time I went to Six Flags. They were laying under the Superman Tower of Power ride...
...AND THERE WERE FEET INSIDE THEM!!!!!!
I used to have that fantasy about making love to a woman only wearing her high heals but I tried it once and her shoes were so fucking tight It cut off my my blood flow and I couldn't maintain an erection. Next time I will stick with her panties, Omg sticky panties that is so gross. I do have a sticky panty story I will tell you sometime though when you want a laugh.
Seriously though I just like tall women and that doesn't matter when we are laying down.
I have a weakness for shoes. i bought a nice red pair of manolo blahniks last week...after I bought a black pair too :)
U can do such things with shoes? I didnt know LOL!
btw, I did mention the movie 'Eyes Wide Shut' in that post (if u didnt notice). I love that scene!
Keshi.
Cece:
That is awesome! I love chicks who are like fuck it...my comfort is more important!
Myutopia:
Smart girl! Why be uncomfortable!
Crushed:
Tell me more about the PVC thing???
Mike M:
Thanks! I thought you might enjoy this one!
Mighty Dykerson:
Ha ha ha! Oh, you are so bad!
The Inside of Me:
Can't wait for the sticky story...I love to laugh anytime!
Keshi:
Sorry about that! I blog at work and get distracted so I prob. missed that!
How many pairs of shoes you got???
I've never had stilettos and even though I'm short I don't go for high shoes. I can't stand my feet hurting. At all.
I agree definitely... lol
I save heels for the man ... but stay comfortable the rest of the week!
Heels are good...stilettos are little torture boxes! I like wearig heels..like feeling taller...but I only whip out the stilettos when I feel like using the feather boa...
I have the biggest shoe fetish EVAR! I currently own 42 pairs, including stiletos, boots and sandals, and I even own pairs that don't fit me, but I just had to have them cos they're fucking works of ART!!
Agree with the ugly feet thing. If you're going to put your toes on display, at least have a regular pedicure.
Thank you!
I've seen too many women wobble around on high heels, looking like Bambi on ice, and still refuse to wear something more sensible (for them).
I'm a huge fan of the stilleto, I'm short, my hamstring is even shorter, and yes, flats hurt. Plus, I actually think heels are comfortable. But then again, I actually know how to wear them... LOL
its ok matey :)
how many pairs of shoes I have? wud u believe it...currently 30+ pairs. Wut abt ya?
Keshi.
More?
It's just quite a turn on.
I sort of like the whole dominatrix thing...
Hmmm. Maybe I should be quiet now..
Jenny:
Have done it with only heels on just once...On my part it felt good, I knew the shoes were working for me, I felt sexier...so there's that benefit to wearing them (mind you I've also been in the same postion with hiking boots so maybe I'm not the best authority on shoes and sex..).
But as a tom boy I rarely wear heels, only for formal/special occassions. I couldn't even countenance wearing them day in day out - makes me wince just thinking about it...
But then again I know plenty of divas who only wear heels (one wouldn't even relinquish her heels when on crutches...I kid you not)...One old school buddy had her feet moulded to them - she was actually in pain when she had to wear flats (sick, huh?).
Have you seen the Brit comedy Black Books at all....Fran going on holiday...he he
I had accident half way through reading your post. Can I go to the bathroom and clean myself up please?
I have a huge shoe problem like Steph. I also own a few pairs that aren't my size, just because they are beautiful. haha!
I am a huge fan of heels, but I TOTALLY agree with you! I hate when girls get the super tall heels and walk around like they have a stick up their butt! That just looks ridiculous!
I have this lady in my office that is like 4 foot tall, and wears the huge stilettos ALL THE TIME. This would be ok, but they are so tall, they look like they are the length of her calves. It look crazy! She walks around looking like a midget on stilts. I get a nice chuckle at her expense every time she walks by.
Also! Another annoying thing. Super skinny heels DO NOT go with big fat asses!! Please don't put an elephant on toothpicks. Again...another lady at work. It not only isn't sexy, but you look even worse waddling around because 1 you are a big lady and 2 you are wearing heels that just don't go with your body type. Give those sticks a break! They have a weight limit... What if one of them snapped? oh... that would be funny... watch that broad fall right on her holier than thou face! LOL! ok...I am done with work bitch rants.
I heart shoes!
Wow I didn't know there were so many people out there with a foot fetish. I really don't get it.
Jeannie:
Having your feet hurting sucks! I would much rather be comfortable than wear certain shoes.
Shibari:
I had a feeling you might feel that way! Wink wink!
Sassy Blondie:
I am a bit short, so wearing heels gives me a bit more height too.
Steph:
Damn that is a ton of shoes! I don't have anywhere near that many. I have a few pair that don't fit...but I had to had to had to have them!
Heart of Darkness:
Some chicks just can't pull off the high heel, so why try! I can walk in high heels w/o looking like "Bambi on ice"...but if there is a pair that's not comfortable or makes me walk like a fool...I don't wear them!
Keshi:
I don't have as many as you and Steph...but probably close to 25 or so. I have shoes that I have worn once, but just can't get myself to get rid of.
Crushed by Ingsoc:
So you are a subbie then???
Em:
Hiking boots??? That sounds hot! After a few days of wearing heels all day, my feet hurt going back to flats too...but not like moulded to my feet...ouch! I haven't seen that show...what's it about?
Captain:
Yes, you can be excused to the bathroom! Please cum again!!! He he he!!!
Kelly:
I forgot about the elephant toothpick thing in my post...thanks for reminding me! That is so aweful! Midget on stilts...crack my ass up! I like your work bitch rants!!!
The Inside of Me:
Just because you like shoes doesn't mean you like to fuck feet! Ha...gross!
My days of wearing high heels are over. I did like them though, and I could walk in them!
I always do Jenny. ;)
P.S. Jenny, check out this blog, I think you might like this post from my friend The Birdman.
thepantry33.blogspot.com
I've never worn em but I wouldn't hesitate to fling one at a fleeing homeless man ;D
I hate when shoes make feet look fat!! Yuck!
I'm not a foot person either, but I think it's awesome when a guy kisses my ankles! ;)
--snow
Well not really, no.
I just get turned on by the whole PVC and kneelength leather boots thing.
But then I get turned on by nuns as well, so maybe I'm just twisted...
Have a great weekend.
Ps: A Fetish can't include a part of a human body, only inanimate objects like shoes. Foot partialism, shoe fetish : )
Oh! BTW...I absolutely want to wretch when I see ladies:
A) Wearing shoes that are too tight
B) Wearing shoes that their toes and/or heels hang over. For the love of Mike, just go up a half size you stupid bitches! Jeez!
Akelamula:
I am glad ot hear you could handle your heels!
Captain:
Good to know that I have a repeat customer. I checked out his blog - thanks for the link!
Hammer:
THanks for not wearing them...I am sure woman everywhere appreciate that!
Snow:
Ankles...thats kind of kinky!!!
Crushed by Ingsoc:
I have no doubt that you are just twisted...I still don't get the PVC thing? Where does it go? Or do I now want to know!
MyUtopia:
You have a good weekend too! Thanks for the info!
Sassy Blondie:
Agreed...and what about long ass toenails....fuck me...ever heard of clippers fools!
Jenny, I'll admit, a woman can look great in heels. But they certainly aren't necessary for looking awesome. In fact, I prefer no shoes at all so I can more easily caress her feet and...well...enjoy her.
Your train of logic goes contrary to every David Lee Roth video ever produced, and every porn compilation in the oeuvre of Jenna Jameson.
Is nothing sacred? Are fishnet stockings on your future agenda?
Though the issue of whether stilettos are sexy is certainly fodder for an academic discourse, I am going to have to yield to the wisdom of the ages and state that while they are uncomfortable, they are sexy.
By empirical analysis, if Timberlands and other brands of waffle stompers--which are quite comfortable--were sexy, the ENTIRE FRONT ROW of an Indigo Girls concert would be sexy, and this is simply not the case. In fact, I would have to tie a cluster of Honey Bunches of Oats around some of the attendees at an Indigo Girls concert to get the main equestrian attraction to perform with them at a Tijuana pony show.
In other words, you can't prove the inverse, so stilettos must be sexy.
(Some guys would find you spiking a wino through the skull quite captivating, by the way. These guys are seriously disturbed, but still...)
Em:
Toe sucker!!! Do you like to dip her itty bitty piggies in hot sauce???
Zen:
Fishnets are cool as long as the ckick w/o the dicks wearing them!
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