Nice Way Of Saying I Suck At Math!

I took an IQ test and these are my results...

Your Intellectual Type is Word Warrior. This means you have exceptional verbal skills. You can easily make sense of complex issues and take an unusually creative approach to solving problems. Your strengths also make you a visionary. Even without trying you're able to come up with lots of new and creative ideas. And that's just a small part of what we know about you from your test results.

What the test results are saying, in a very nice way, is that I am a complete retard when it comes to Math.

Here's the link if your interested...

The Classic IQ Test
http://web.tickle.com/invite?test=3001&type=t

My Trip To Satan's Asshole!

Yesterday Don and I took a trip to Satan's Asshole...otherwise known as the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). It was not as I expected...I didn't have any outbursts at the morons that call themselves employees or at the retarded people standing in line...and I wasn't banned! How eventful! I dediced it might be best if I waited in the car while Don took care of his business...no he didn't have to use it...he needed to renew his license, which he did...scored 100% on the writtn portion and wasn't even required to take the driving portion. Good news for the DMV and me!

Hi Cheese!

Hi Cheese...this is Jeanette!

It's Spring Cleaning Time Again!

I'm so excited...and I just can't hide it! With the weather perking up in full gear for Spring...I find myself peeing my pants with excitement and thrill because I know that this week I get to do my Spring cleaning. I love cleaning anytime and don't really need an excuse, but the Spring season especially excites me because it is time to purge the back porch. My back porch becomes the bottomless pit for storage and trash. I have bags of baby clothes, Donovan's miscellaneous outgrown apparatuses, air conditioners, tables, recyclables that never made it to the bin and many other things that made themselves a cold home on the back porch for the winter. Last time I purged the porch, my neighbor and I had a slight altercation - she made some comments and I heard them...we had a few words, needless to say, we don't have the friendly neighborly courtesies anymore, just evil stares and annoyed mumbles. So I can't wait to start the purging! Let the cleaning begin!

Donovan's Special Birthday Guest!

Now don't get me wrong...I do like costumes at Halloween, but when one of Donovan's birthday guests came (I mean changed) as Spiderman, we were all alittle shocked. This little GIRL is 7 and her parents think it is okay for her to come to someones very special day and change into THIS!!! Hello, leave the fucking costume at home next time.

My Cute Little Boy!

I know everyone is sick of hearing me talk about how cute Donovan is, and how he is the cutest baby in the world...but he is and here are some pictures to prove it!

Why Can't Everyone Be Like Jeanette and I

Do I have to light an atomic bomb under the world's ass??? It seems like no one is as competent as Jeanette and myself (I am not trying to boost my self-confidence and give myself a pat on the back here). The questions that I was asked today at work, blew my mind. Also, the amount of gaul some teachers had made it hard to not spit in their pompous faces. The hopher asked me to do the impossible, and after an explanation of why this feat was not going to be feasible, she wanted me to do it anyway. Just need to vent!

My Favorite Directors!

I stumbled upon this picture today...thought it might be funny!

Is It Wrong To Just Want Lettuce?

I was at the grocery store the other day looking at the plethora of bagged lettuce. The selection was a little overwhelming and I didn't know if I wanted Caesar, Mediterranean, Spinach, Iceberg, Classic, Italian, Romaine or one of the seventy other choices. I was getting a little pissed because I wanted just lettuce. As Don approached me, he asked, "what's wrong?" I replied, "God, I want a bag of JUST LETTUCE!" Right then, I looked down at the bottom row and saw a nice green bag that made me feel a little bit like I was in heaven...it said, "Just Lettuce." What are the chances that my prayers were answered at that exact moment! I hadn't even been nice about the prayer...it was more of a demand really, but whatever, it worked. I think I might keep trying this asking God for stuff stunt..."God, I really want a new car!" Well, I gave it a minute and nothing has happended, so I am assuming the I used up the one wish like prayer on JUST LETTUCE! FUCK!

Wow How Time Flies

So it has been almost two months since my last blog...I feel kind of guilty not keeping up with things.

My life has been very busy lately. Lots of work fun, it is busy season at Sylvan. We have tests up the ass every single Saturday and no room for comfortable testing environments for the kids. Our lovely and dedicated (HaHa) teachers have been pulling some irresponsible crap. The damn directors keep enrolling kids so it just makes for a really profitable nightmare.

Donovan just had his 1st Birthday on March 10th, so I was planning not one, but two birthday parites for him. I couldn't believe how stressed out I was about Donovan turning one. I credit myself with being a pretty laid back type of person that doesn't let things get to me and stress me, but the 1 year mark took its toll. Donovan got so much fun stuff for his birthday...the little spoiled brat!

Donovan has RSV, which is a viral respitory infection and an ear infection. The poor thing is miserable, I guess all that partying took its toll on his immune system. He has to do an inhalation treatment through a nebulizer four times and day...and he hates it! The mask is a cute little dinosaur that does nothing to soothe the scary sounds.

So, I am going to rededicate myself to blogging again!

I Am Really Slacking

I realize that I have been a very bad blogger lately! I haven't blogged in some time. I do have an excuse though...my computer crashed and I had to wait for the new hard drive to be installed. That was a very frustrating event - we lost all of our pictures and everything that we had on our computer. I was very upset about this whole situation because Donovan's 1st year pictures are all gone! We took the computer to a recovery specialist at Circuit City...with no luck. The good thing about the Kodak online photo albums is that I can order a disc with all my pictures of Donovan and we can once again have them. The only catch is that the pictures that were once free for us to enjoy...are now going to cost over $40.00 to buy. It is totally worth it since they are Donovan's pictures, but it just kind of sucks that we now have to pay to have our pictures back! I know it sounds dumb, but I am allowed to feel annoyed.

It's Been Awhile

I feel like I haven't blogged in such a long time. Christmas and New Year's have past without any sort of commentary from me - weird. So let me catch you all up...

Christmas was extremely busy and exhausting. Donovan got so much stuff that we had to buy a huge rubber container to store all his toys so that I didn't go crazy looking at them everywhere. Visiting family is so tiring with a baby. Everybody wants to hold him, everybody wants to see him, everybody wants to talk about when their kids were this little - I am not interested by the way! I am glad that it is over and that we can all get back to a normal schedule. The food the past few weeks has been phenomenal, so I can't really complain.

It was Don and I's 8 year anniversary on Dec. 30th so we got to go out on a date to Fridays. That was a lot of fun. We do actually go out together often, but usually it is to the grocery store or to Target, so going out and eating and drinking together was a lot of fun. You always have fun at Fridays. I am sort of sad that I didn't receive any pottery gifts this year for our anniversary.

New Year's Eve was another day. Nothing exciting, it usually ends up being a boring night. Couldn't really do anything because of Donovan's bedtime and feeding schedule and all. My mom made the most fantastic appetizer though (potato skins, shrimp cocktail, spinach dip, chili dip, veggies and dip, horseradish dip, brownies, rice crispies treats - that's a whole lot of dips...but they were good). I don't usually expect anything super exciting for New Year's Eve anyway, it is hyped up too much and really isn't that big of a deal to me.

New Year's Day we went to my Aunt's house in Mundelien for brunch. She always has fantastic brunch - it is well worth the long car ride. She made a breakfast casserole with ham, potatoes, cheese and eggs and she also made a blueberry French toast casserole that was delicious. We had the standard brunch issue foods; bagels and cream cheese, shrimp, loch, pasta salad, several kinds of breads (poppyseed, banana and cranberry), quiche (spinach and cheese and bacon and cheese), all sorts of cakes and cookies and of course mimosas. Well, I am getting kind of hungry talking about all this food. We got to play our annual "Hide the Pickel" game! Sounds like more fun than it actually is though.

Sounds like I spent my holidays eating and eating and eating (almost forgot all the awesome baked goods provided by Frances Anna at work - rum balls and jello weird things that tasted like heaven). That's what the holidays are about...good food and family! I hope everyone else had a good time and ate lots of good food!

Missing Jeanette

Jeanette is on vacay this week and I miss her so much! Sylvan just isn't the same without her. I have been doing an awful lot of work though...not that she is that much of a distraction! I really miss my lunch buddy...lunch doesn't taste as good without Jeanette. I don't think Jeanette should be allowed to take any more vacation days. Jeanette is also leaving me on Saturdays starting in January - and I don't like that one bit! At least I will have her one Saturday a month and then on every Friday.

Holiday Magic - Not So Magical

We went to the Brookfield Zoo for Holiday Magic this weekend and let me just tell you...it was not so magical.

First of all, I was freezing my balls off and I can only imagine how cold Donovan was...even though he had his full snow suit, hat, gloves, scarf and blanket on.

Second, every time I go to the zoo, which is not very often, the animals seem to look sadder and more pathetic. The polar bears look sickly and crazy (pacing repetitively by their cage door), the snow leopards look lethargic, the black bear looks over feed and under exercised, the walrus looks all scarred and old, all the animals in the children's zoo look disgusting (especially the horses and goats), the gorillas looked stoned, the reindeers looked as if they couldn't lift their own antlers (let alone Santa's sleigh), and the bald eagle looked anything but proud. The only animals that we saw that looked happy and healthy were the dolphins. We got to see the brand new baby dolphin that only weighed 30 pounds...that was kind of refreshing...to see life in at least one species of animal at the zoo.

My aunt, who works at Lincoln Park Zoo, came with us and was telling us about the Bengal tiger Molly who hasn't gone outside in over two years and who will probably be transferred back to Lincoln Park because of her agoraphobia.

I use to love zoos and think that they were a great way for people to gain respect and learn from animals, but as I grow older, the zoos just seem more like a prison for these great animals. The sad thing is, is that Brookfield zoo is supposedly one of the greatest zoos in the world - what do the other zoos look like. When I went to China, we went to the zoo and that was the saddest thing I have ever seen, that was truly disgusting and outrageous. The bears were kept in 10x10 holes in the ground that people used as garbage cans. It was so sad and disgusting that we left right away, I would have cried if we stayed any longer. I lost a lot of respect for the Chinese that day...trying to save the pandas my ass...no wonder they are going extinct...they live in China!

The good thing about Holiday Magic this year was that Donovan got to sit on Santa's lap and met Mrs. Claus. We took a few pictures, only got a few in before Donovan realized that Santa Claus is not cool...but he is actually a perv dressed up in a red suit (I have always been afraid of anyting dressed in a costume - Santa, Clowns, Easter Bunny, Jeanette - so I am planning on instilling that fear into Donovan too).

I am glad that I went, it was lots of fun - despite the sad animals and the cold. I think I might go again next year!

What Will Not Be Appearing On Our Christmas Card

Although this picture is not Christmas card worthy...it is the cutest sneeze caught on camera!



Donovan, the most photogenic baby in the world, has been nothing but uncooperative for his photo shoots for our Christmas cards. Every time that Donovan sees the camera he turns into a big ham and we get the most amazing pictures of him. I bought this cute little Santa outfit for him with the Santa hat and everything and every time we try to take a picture with him by the Christmas tree or in the wrapped box, he turn into a monster. We tried a couple of weeks ago and got nothing, then he had the horrible allergic reaction to his antibiotic and had a rash covering his whole body so we were unable to take pictures and now that it is coming down to the wire...he is being such a little stinker! Sorry for those of you expecting a Christmas card...it may turn out to be a New Years card.

I Love Stupid Questions!

On Saturday, Don, Donovan and I went to Don's grandparents house for their annual Candy Cane Punch. The punch has been a family tradition that they have done for over 50 years two weeks before Christmas. The punch is the shit! It had egg nog, club soda, cool whip and a lot of other things in it that I can't remember, but it was fantastic.

Don and I were priveledged to take Don's sister Yolie with us. That was a blast...she came to our house 10 minutes late and she still hadn't made her appetizer, so we had to wait till she made that. In the meantime...I almost died because she was making a mess in the kitchen and I had just cleaned (she use to live with us and that was the worst few months of my life). After she was finished making her appetizer, we left (late). The ride there was okay, no arguments between Don and Yolie...nice for a change.

On the way home was when I was asked the stupidest questions in the world. It was very cold Saturday and snowing, so Donovan had his snow suit on. He was getting a little cranky in the car because he was hungry and tired of being strapped down in his car seat. Yolie was sitting in the back seat with him and I asked her to unbutton the top button of his snow suit. She then asked, "Why do you put him in this?" Don's response was, "Because he can't put it on himself!" My response was , "I'm not going to answer that questions...you just think about that for a minute." Well, she thought about it for a minute and replied back, "I don't think I am going to be a good mother." Tell me something that I don't already know!

I really just love the stupid things that people say. It keeps me so entertained!

How Do Socialites Do This?

This weekend was one of the busiest weekends I have had in a long time. With outings on Friday, Saturday and Sunday...I am flipping exhausted. I feel like I haven't been home in a long time and that the housework is going down the tubes (not really, I just feel like it is-I couldn't let the housework slip). I have no idea how people go out every weekend and can still function normally during the week.

What Element Are You

Your Element is Fire

Your power color: red Your energy: hot Your season: spring Like a fire, you are full of power and light.A born leader, you easily draw people toward you.You are full of courage and usually up for anything dangerous.You have a huge ego and love to be the center of attention.

What Element Are You?

What Reindeer Are You?

You Are Vixen

Sexy and sultry, you're the one all the other reindeer dream about. Why You're Naughty: That fur pulling spat you got into with Dancer over Santa. Why You're Nice: Because even when you're nice, you're still delightfully naughty!

visit: www.blogthings.com

The Fondue Experience

Last night at The Melting Pot was a blast with my girls. I thought we were going to have a very satisfiying food extravaganza feast experience...and we did...but I didn't know that you get to be an outlaw as well! Jeanette experienced her first metal to metal contact with her car and a taxi. I told her to just take off...there was no damage...or at least none that I could see. The best part about the ride home was Sarah and I making funny references to our renagade experience the whole time. I learned that Sarah is half Jew and also a few interesting facts about the three Wisemen. I had such a grand evening...we will have to do it again sometime...maybe next time without the warrants and delinquent behavior!