Big D's Birthday Picture!

Excuses Excuses!

I am so far behind with blogging, but I have been so frickin' busy! Here are my excuses:

1. I got a new job and I am starting my training on April 2nd. I am so excited about my new position that it doesn't seem real. I couldn't be happier leaving my current employer, however, I am now forced to train my boss on how to do her job before I leave. I have also been very busy shopping for my new job. I have never been a fashion icon or even remotely interested in fashion (except for my sick obsession with America's Next Top Model), but I have found shopping extremely satisfying and entertaining at the same time...weird!

2. Don and I have been doing all the tax-refund home improvements. Since having a kid rocks it hard when it comes to taxes, we use the money we get back to improve our house. Last year we did a major rehab on our living room and dining room area and bought all new furniture. That was a huge huge huge project and we are going significantly more low key this year. We bought new dressers, rugs and lots of small fun stuff. We are going to repaint our bathroom in a few weeks, so that will be fun too!

3. It is officially Spring and my OCD kicks itself into overdrive. With the weather being so gorgeous out, I have the need to clean and organize. I have gotten rid of a total of 5 garbage bags full of clothes, purged basically my whole back porch, and made it into a playroom for Donovan.

4. It's Don's birthday today and he is sick. So much for B-Day sex!

5. We have started potty training with Donovan and I find myself asking if he has to go poop or pee about a million times a day. Instead of actually peeing and pooping in the potty, he likes to put the cushion ring on his head and make silly faces. I find this horribly disgusting, but humorous at the same time!

6. I am getting ready to see Body Worlds at the Science and Industry Museum tomorrow with my girl posse and could not be more excited. I have been waiting for this field trip for over a month now and can't contain my boner any longer.

7. Um, I can't think of any other excuses. I will try to catch up on every body's blog this weekend! Love you guys!

Donovan's Almost Two!

Tomorrow is Donovan's 2nd birthday and I seriously can't believe it. I am in total denial that I have a two year old. This year his party is Cars themed because that is what he thinks about 24/7. He woke up this morning and the first word out of his mouth was, "Caa!" We are keeping his party pretty low key and just having pizza and cake. I can't seem to understand the huge birthday celebrations with all the fancy smancy stuff. I would rather spend more money on his presents than on the balloons and plates. We are again having two parties; one with my family and another with Don's family because of the distance and location thing.

In other news, Don's sister went out and bought herself some boobies, well actually one of her boyfriends bought her boobies and the other one is nursing her back to good health...awwww...how sweet of them!

I've missed all of my blogger friends!

Cool Pictures In The News!

Iranian Revolutionary Guards fire a missile from the back of a truck during wargames near Qom, Iran. The Islamic Republic's ideological army is conducting three days of land exercises amid an escalating international crisis over Iran's nuclear program.
An Iraqi army soldier controls traffic at a checkpoint in Baghdad.
Celebration Revelers dance on top of a 'Unidos da Tijuca' samba school float during the Carnival parade in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, on Monday.

I found these pictures and thought there were kind of neat-o! I promise I will get back to reading and commenting on everyone's blog real real soon! I feel like a bad bad blogger lately!

One Crazy Week!

Last week was so crazy! I went on a job interview and had my car stolen. I have put my resume out there to see what opportunities there are. I have realized (after 10 years) that the only way to increase my income is to find a different employer - I have maxed out and hit my ceiling. The only thing that has kept me at my current job is my friends. I work with my best friend, Jeanette, we have know each other since Jr. Kindergarten and love every minute we're together! I have also made a lot of life long friends that I couldn't imagine my life without...I love you Sarah and Ashley and book club girls! But I have been a rectangle for a while now and I feel like the time is right and I feel a good vibe, not an anxious vibe about making a career move. The first interview went well, it was with a consulting company that will help find job opportunities to place me and they are actually full time with benefits kind of jobs, not the "Would you like to buy a set of knives?" kind of job. I am excited about the first possibility and will hopefully have my second interview this upcoming week. Wish me luck!

The other thing that kept me busy this week was my car. My car was stolen on Friday night from my parking spot just down the block from my apartment. I found out when I walked to my car Saturday morning on my way to go to work and found no car. So I called the police and did that whole hassle thing. They found out that the my license plate number was run at 5:20am a few towns over, but nothing was done because they didn't know the car was stolen. I was kind of bummed. My car is a piece of shit and needs alot of work that I can't afford but it was paid off and that felt good. I have been contemplating buying a new car, but financially that isn't an option right now (hence the job search) and my insurance would have given me the value of the car. Low and behold, the car was found in the parking lot of a bar about 10 miles away that evening and nothing was touched. There was no apparent damage and nothing was stolen...so I got to take her home. I had mixed feelings about this, I was excited at the possibility of a new car but also pissed about the hassle and money aspect. I am thinking that because things worked out so well with the car situation that maybe the new job situation will be lucky too!

Space Rules!

Cosmic cluster: An image from NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope shows the Helix nebula, a cosmic starlet often known for its vivid colors and resemblance to a giant eye. The nebula, located about 700 light-years away in the constellation Aquarius, belongs to a class of objects called planetary nebulae.

Hmmmmmmmm #2

Former Republican governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney stands with his family after announcing his candidacy for president at The Henry Ford Museum.

Hmmmmmm

Obama: I'm running for president!

Sen. Barack Obama officially entered the race for president Saturday in the Illinois capital, urging Americans who hear "destiny calling" to join him in "the unfinished business of perfecting our union," then headed out to start campaigning in earnest in the battleground state of Iowa.

Doesn't he have sheep to heard??? Will he really have the time to dedicate to the country and it's best interest??? Concerened voters need to know!

The Luckiest Baby In The World

Anna Nicole Smith died Thursday at a South Florida hospital after being discovered unconscious in her hotel room. The reality TV star, Playboy Playmate and former Guess model was 39. She checked into the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida, on Monday with her lawyer and boyfriend, Howard K. Stern and never checked out! I felt sorry for her when her son died and was shocked that she was allowed to have more children, but her little girl is the luckiest baby girl in the world since she won't have the detrimental effects of being "raised" by Anna Nicole. Rest in peace Anna Nicole, you will not be missed on earth!

Thanks DMV and Jesse White!

Dear Jesse White and the Department of Motor Vehicles:

I never thought I would be thanking you since I have had nothing but bad times at your facilities, but you really came through. You are saving thousands from the frustration of road rage and the irritation that is caused by bad drivers. You are going to be saving many lives, and for this I am thankful. The last thing I would imagine is you guys doing your jobs but I am in awe of your foresight and protocol. Thank you DMV for failing my grandmother on her driving test!

Sincerely,

Jenny

*** My Grandma just turned 80 and should have never been allowed a drivers license. She never drove because my grandpa always did all the driving, but now that he is almost blind my grandma has been behind the wheel. She just recently went to the DMV to renew her license and she failed the test. It is such a good thing that she isn't driving anymore, she has had more accidents and shit happen since she started driving and it is better for everyone that she failed!

Brookfield Zoo Has Spirit...How Bout You?

Bears bring a biteJim (left) and Axhi, two Brookfield Zoo brown bears, join in on the Super Bowl fever by putting the bite on a helmet-shaped pinata with the Indianapolis Colts logo in Brookfield, Ill., Monday. Staff and young visitors at the zoo's Hamill Family Play Zoo created two pinatas - a football with the Bears logo and a football helmet with the Colts logo.(Tribune photo by Antonio Perez) Jan 29, 2007

*** Go Bears!

They Should Be Fired!

Gary Heitz (left) and Erin Edmister decide that the helmets have to go back to the shop to be refiited. The much anticipated Bears helmets being placed on the lions heads at the Art Institute of Chicago Tuesday were too small.(Tribune photo by Nancy Stone) Jan 30, 2007

*** If this is your job..shouldn't you make sure before you make the helmets that they actual are the correct size to fit the lion's head???

I Hate My Neighbors!

I have two neighbors that I totally hate right now...1. Dan (to the north) and 2. Black Guy (to the south). My hate for them is coming from different places.

Dan, who is the best neighbor on the face of the planet (also very hot) is going to be moving in April because his landlord sucks. I am so upset because he is a neighbor that you can really trust, have fun with and count on. Don and Dan hang out often and it is really convenient. We take out Banjo (Dan's dog) when he gets stuck on a job out in the middle of nowhere (yes, I do have keys to his house, and no, I have not sniffed his underwear). My mom and sisters are totally obsessed with him and I find it kind of funny when they make total fools of themselves in front of him. I am really more sad than mad, but it sucks to lose a good guy!

Black Guy (I have no clue what his name is) just started living with my neighbors to the south a few weeks ago. The family isn't bad, but they aren't like Dan. They keep to themselves (plus), they are quiet (plus), they have 3 foster children that are well behaved (plus) and retarded (plus...great stories come from that) but he parks his damn car in front of our house (not a plus). Now I don't live in the city where you have to fight for parking spots so parking in front of your house is never an issue. Until recently that is, he has thrown off every body's spot by parking smack dab in front of mine. So now Dan has to park in front of Sue, and Sue has to park in front of the Pollacks, and so on and so on. It really pisses me off. I know this seems like a minor inconvenience and I shouldn't get worked up about it, but why can't that fuck-tard park in front of his own fucking house - NO BODY PARKS THERE!!!! Don and I have resorted to passive-aggressive means of getting back at him (I would tell him to his face that he needs to park is piece of shit in front of his own house, but since he keeps off hours, I never run into him) and have desecrated the sanctity of neighbourliness. Don has peed on his car, we spit on it, kick the tires and say really not nice things about him. My dad thinks that he is "hiding from the police", good thought but really parking your car the house over...is that really a good way to "hide" from the police father??? I am at the point where I may have to ring the bell and politely ask him to park in front of his own house - that sounds logical, I better not do that and stick with the passive-aggressive route!

I Need A Drink!

I feel like shit, my job is pissing me off, and I want a drink!

On the up side...Prison Break is back on Monday nights! Very exciting! He is so sexy!

They Do Not Look Pleased!!!

Armenian Orthodox priests walk following the Armenian Christmas Eve procession in the Church of the Nativity, traditionally believed to be the birthplace of Jesus Christ, in the West Bank town of Bethlehem, Thursday. Armenian Orthodox followers in the Holy Land celebrate Christmas on Jan. 18.

Is it just me or do these men not look very happy about pictures being taken at the birthplace of Jesus!!! I think I need to say a prayer, because I am scared!!!

One Long Ass Week

I don't think I have worked so hard at work in a few months...I am so not use to being bogged down busy! I am so fucking tired that I could go to sleep for days. Nothing truly funny or eventful happened this week, I am feeling a tit bit bored with myself. I did however, win a Coach wallet purse thing at our company holiday party today...oh, how exciting! I have never owned or had the desire to own a Coach product, but since we did the stealing game with our grab bag, I just had to steal from my boss who had the biggest stiffy over it...I just had to have it! I'm not sure what you do with it, because it is big enough to hold some cash and an your drivers license, but whatever...seeing my bosses woody deflate was totally worth it! It looks like the one pictured above, but blue...I would love it so much more had it been in pink!

Boner Alert!

Those be some damn scary girls!

Sarah...weren't you looking at a wedding dress similar to this...please don't!!!
I don't know what's the worst part of this picture...her hair, crinkled boobs or the grill!

Does Maggie have a boner or is she just really happy to have not won anything???

When Saints Lie

Don's grandma, Grandma Taco, is the closest thing to a Saint that I have ever met. She is the most religiously inspiring woman with the biggest, purest heart I can imagine. When I am with her I feel relief, joy and inspiration. I am not a very religious person more spiritual really, but when I am with her I am hit with overwhelming goodness. She lives by herself in a small apartment and we visit her every other or every Sunday. She cooks for us, she says that her cooking is the best because she cooks with lots of love. It is some damn good food. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met and can do no harm.

That said...she totally lied to Don's sister Yolie this past weekend. Yolie is a straight up cunt. She is a total bitch with no respect, decency or class. She comes over to Grandma Taco's house and eats all her food, leaves a huge mess and is extremely ungrateful and rude. We were all going to meet up this past Sunday to have lunch as a family because Don's younger brother Jeff is heading back to college. Yolie called Grandma Taco to let her know what time and Grandma Taco told Yolie that she wasn't going to be home so nobody should come over. Yolie called us to tell us that Grandma is cancelling for Sunday and we should do it another time. Grandma called two minutes later and told Don that she was in fact going to be home and that only we were invited because we aren't rude and obnoxious. I could not believe that she lied to Yolie, it was the most fantastic thing in the world! Since Yolie is no longer invited to join us for food at Grandma Taco's house, we should all be enjoying each other's company much better now!

Yummy Donut!

There has been a homeless man lurking at my local Starbucks. He hides behind the side of the apartment building across the street and sticks his head out to ask for money when cars park. I have seen him a few times this week and every time he scares me because he jumps out from behind the side of the building yelling, "Miss!" The first time I replied, "What?" And then the next few times I have just shook my head and walked away.

Now this is probably going to come off sounding mean, but I don't give money to beggars on the street. There are so many homeless shelters in Chicago that are only half full and the last reports that I read, said that only about 50% of the actual homeless use the shelters and food pantries. Why are the homeless not going to the shelters for help. And if they are asking for bus or train fare...why did they leave that area they want to get "home" to so badly? Also, if I am going to give someone something it is going to be the actual object not just handing them over money.

So, this morning the man jumped out from the building again and I shook my head and walked away. When I was waiting in line at Starbucks I felt weirdly charitable and decided to buy the man a donut and a bagel. After I picked up my drink, I walked to the corner where the man pops out from (prepared with my hand on my mace...just in case), found him sitting next to the dumpster and handed him the donut and bagel. He looked surprised and took the bag and asked, "What's this?" I told him, "That's a donut and a bagel for you!" He said, "I was asking for money, not food!" I was like, "Oh!" He was like, "There's not even butter on this bagel!" I was shocked out of my frigging mind! I asked him what he needed money for and he said, "It's none of your business." I said, "Okay, fine. Have a nice day and good luck finding money, bastard!" I then swiftly grabbed the donut and bagel bag from him and hurried to my car. I got in the car, locked the door and couldn't move. Seriously, I was in awe of his audacity. He obviously has missed a few meals, baths and doctor appointments so I thought that bringing him Starbucks treats was a nice thing. I then called the Forest Park non-emergency number and told them that there was a bum harassing the patrons of Starbucks for the past week and that he needs to be removed. The police said they would send someone out to check. I was pleased! I went to work, didn't want to eat the bagel or donut so I left it in the bag on my desk. My boss came in 30 minutes later and asked what I was eating. I told her she could have it if she wanted to, I didn't like Starbucks donuts. Now, seeing that my boss is squeamish about the smallest of things, this donut was extra yummy for me!!!

These Made Me Laugh

A collage of John Ashcroft's face, made up entirely of porn pictures