Weekend Recap

Friday:

* Worked my butt off at work, for the first time ever at my new job!

* Celebrated Sarah's birthday by going out to dinner at Rockit and then to Howl at the Moon for drinks and music. It was the most fun I have had at a bar in a long time. Howl at the Moon is a dueling piano bar where you make requests and they play them...excellently! My ears are still ringing. It was a good night with my girls! We took the train back and Ashley sat in piss, it was fantastic! Sarah's fiance picked us up from the train and tried to get a foursome going...no such luck my man, he didn't provide my Snickers which is required for group sex!

Saturday:

* Had my first Saturday off of work since like two years and it was excellent. I spent time with Donovan and we went on a Mommy/Son date. Donovan and I decided to celebrate Cinqo di Mayo at Lalo's (Donovan is a quarter Mexican). I had the most wonderful burrito and he ate chicken nuggets and ketchup...I know, not very Mexican, but whatever he's two! Then we watched trains, cars and trucks go by beside the expressway. It was a good day!

* The horse I picked to win in the Kentucky Derby actually won...great job Street Sense! I wish I had actually bet money on it!

Sunday:

* Put in some overtime at work...the extra cash is sweet!

* Went out to dinner with my boys and that's about it! Donovan has a newly required addiction to Shrek so we bought Shrek 2 and I forgot how fucking funny that movie was! I love Donkey!

* Didn't get any action this weekend, fucking Don has pink eye and a severe cold and the medicine is making him drowsy or what not! Sucks! Should have taken up Sarah's fiance on his offer!

Breast Talk

So, during lunch I was trying to decide what to post about this afternoon. After thinking long and hard (no I am not referring to your junk Ratty), and noticing a man staring, I decided on breastfeeding. I am huge advocate for breastfeeding, in fact I feel that a woman should breastfeed her baby unless there is a medical reason why she can't. There is no good reason to not breastfeed. Now, I'm not a crazy La Lecha League member or anything, but it's one of those things that I feel strongly about.

My questions is this...Do men who are not breastfeed as infants stare at woman's tits more than men who were breastfeed?

Here's what I am thinking...all men like boobs...right??? The psychological link is that men are attracted to large breasts because they would be able to provide more milk for their children and ensure survival (back in the day). So are modern day men craving breasts because they weren't breastfeed? Since we no longer have to relay on breast milk for our children's survival, are breasts just becoming unimportant? And will they eventually genetically phase out because there isn't a practical use for boobs anymore (covering with whipped cream isn't practical...FYI)?

Going To Lunch!

I am going to go to lunch now...but I think I will post when I get back! I actually had some work to do this morning, fucking work, interfering with my blogging addiction!

Tag

I was tagged by Hammer! This is a meme...which I now know what that is...thanks again Hammer!

1. What is the stupidest mistake you have ever made with money?
I am cheap so I can't think of anything big...probably having $500 cash in my wallet and then leaving my purse unattended around bastard children at work.

2. Do you think taxes are unfair or do you think it's your civic duty?
I think that paying taxes is a civic duty, however; I hate doing it and I hate seeing the way my tax dollars are spent, I dream about what I could buy with the taxes I pay...having a kid helps with that!

3. Do you take risks and possibly turn your life upside down for new opportunity?
I am a conservative risk taker...I will take risks, but not risk everything in the process.

4. Are you the alpha in your household?
I wear pants!

5. Do you compromise with your significant other or does someone always get their way?
I am stubborn so I have a hard time compromising, but I do try.

6. What curse word do you use most often?
Fuck

7. Do you easily change your mind or are you dead set on most issues?
I'm as stubborn as a bull...I can sometimes understand the other side, but NEVER change my mind.

8. What famous person would you like to trade places with for one week?
Brad Pitt...I would spend the week touching myself naughty!

9. If you could go back in time and tell one person off, who would it be and what would you say? I would tell off the girl who caused the car accident I was in a few years ago. She was such a bitch, I had a visibly shattered humerus all twisted and shit and was unable to get out of my car and she was yelling at me to get out of the car...um, hello, you totalled my car and the doors don't work...help me! There are other things she did, but I won't get into that. I would not have very nice things to say to her! I would probably end up killing her so it's best that time travel isn't an option for me.

10. Were you a good student or did you do just enough to get by?
I was both, I did just enough to get by with A's - which wasn't very hard! I never found school challenging.

11. If you could give one piece of advice to someone just starting out on their own, what would you tell them?
Get out of your parents house, never go back and be independent. Find your own way!

12. Are people basically good and honest or are most people opportunistic and predatory?
I think most people are good at heart, but evil things, thoughts, and actions are just too tempting for most peoples will.

13. Is there somebody you wish you could go back and apologize to?
Nope!

For My British Guys!

Britain's Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown gets tangled up in netting from balloons which were released during the opening of Westfield School in Sheffield.

So guys, tell me is he a good egg or a bad egg?

He looks kind of like a doofus, but embarrasing shit happens!

Bitch and Bone

He just won...you don't need to tell me that...

I can tell by the massive boner in his shorts!

Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey pictured after attending a hearing at the Federal Court House in Washington, is being accused of running a prostitution ring in the Washington area that allegedly catered to upscale clients. I don't know about everyone else, but what kind of people would pay her money...she hit every branch on her fall from the ugly tree.

Great! A Fucking Rally!

Marchers are beginning to gather west of Chicago's Loop for today's immigration rights march and rally. Police officers have also begun setting up crowd control barricades along the demonstration route, which is expected to draw thousands of marchers. Organizers are hoping to mimic last year's rally when 400,000 flag-waving, chanting participants gathered in the heart of downtown. Chicago police, anticipating today's march will be larger than first expected, announced Monday that demonstrators will be rerouted to Grant Park instead of Daley Plaza, where the rally had been scheduled to take place. Police attributed the 11th-hour switch to public safety concerns, after anger over a bust at an alleged fake-ID business in Little Village last week stirred up emotions surrounding the march. The change surprised march organizers, who had chosen Daley Plaza as the symbolic heart of the city. The venue, they hoped, would lend weight to calls to legalize the country's estimated 12 million undocumented immigrants and to stop federal raids.

That was an exert from the Chicago Tribune describing today's rally. Illegal immigration is a hot topic for me that I am not going to touch upon in my Blog. I was annoyed that they were going to be meeting at the Daley Plaza because that is where I get on the L to go home and the last thing I want to do is fight my way through angry protesters to go home. I would probably end up punching someone in the face and that just wouldn't be good! I am so glad that they are being rerouted to Grant Park instead. I just better not be inconvenienced during my lunch hour!!! It's all about me...not the 12 million ILLEGAL immigrants!!!

Just one thing (I just can't keep it in)...they are protesting against Federal raids...um, maybe if you are breaking the law you should expect the law to break you! Fuck!!!

Bong Table and Hot Guys!

lt looks like exquisite marble, but the Bong table is made of mere plastic — a feat of technology harnessed by Italian design maestro Giulio Cappellini. The round coffee table at the Salone in Milan gets its white Carrara marblelike good looks from a sophisticated chemical process.

Can someone explain to me why it is named "the Bong"??? And what kind of technological "feat" are we harnessing here? It is plastic...right?!? Maybe I am just ignorant to the importance of this table and the impact that it will have on society.

Special forces of the German police are seen on a helicopter during a training session over Frankfurt, Germany.

These guys are bad ass...I want to do that...or rather have sex with the ones who do that!

Bored and Paid

I have been kind of a psycho lately with the blogging. My new job has given me lots and lots of time to blog, peruse the Internet, and stalk my email. I have been told that this is the "slow" time of the year at The Firm and that we will be busy soon. I have also been told that if there isn't any work to do, do whatever you want, just make sure those phones are answered...um, you must mean the two or three calls that come in every day? So, I sit here getting paid (decently) for blogging, listening to music and obsessively commenting and re-commenting. I have to apologize to those of you who have fallen victim to my obsessive commenting! I wish everyone had a job like mine so we could comment back and forth all day long! It gets lonely and boring here, so please blog more people!

This One's For Don!

Hawking in zero gravity in this handout photo provided by Zero Gravity Corp., astrophysicist Stephen Hawking floats on a zero-gravity jet, Thursday. The modified jet carrying Hawking, a handful of his physicians and nurses and dozens of others first flew up to 24,000 feet over the Atlantic Ocean off Florida. Nurses lifted Hawking and carried him to the front of the jet, where they placed him on his back atop a special foam pillow. The plane made a total of eight parabolic dips, including two during which Hawking made two weightless flips like "a gold-medal gymnast," said Peter Diamandis, chairman of Zero Gravity Corp., the company that owns the jet. Doesn't Hawking kind of look like Robin Williams???

Art My Ass!

Swiss artist Jean-Frederic Schnyder's artwork "Waegeli" (little push chairs) is pictured in the museum for contemporary art in Basel, Switzerland, on April 27. Are you kidding me...that's art! I have a really hard time swallowing some of the "contemporary art" that we place in museums. Yeah, that's art...the art of being a crazy ass time waster!

They're Totally Gonna Do It!

Sen. Barack Obama, left, shares a laugh with Sen. Hilary Clinton, prior to the start of the '08 Democratic presidential primary debate hosted by the South Carolina State University. There seems to be a lot of sexual tension here, I think Bill might get his wish (oh, wait...he wishes for her death, not her adultery)!

Holding Hands In The City

Something that I have noticed the last few weeks while I have been out and about in the city is that couples hold hands while walking. Now it's not like I have never seen this happen before, but EVERYONE does it. Is there a rule for the city of Chicago that if you are a couple and walking on a public sidewalk, you MUST hold hands. It becomes very frustrating for non-hand holding people because the sidewalks are only so big and the hand holders tend to walk slower than the rest of us non-hand holders. It is really really annoying being stuck behind them. I have also noticed that they seem vicious. If you walk to close to "their" man you get an evil glare and they grab hold of "their" man tightly and pull them in close. Now listen sugar, I DON'T want your man, I WANT to walk across the street! Ease up a bit Chicago couples (specifically women), no wonder your "man" doesn't want to hit it every night with you, but opts for shooting pool with the girls at the Admiral and spankin' it later!

Funny Pics!

Can't think of anything to write about today, so here are a few pictures that I found entertaining!

Are My Boobs Hanging Out???

Today was an odd day. It's not like this has never happened to me before, but three men totally hit on me today.

The first was early this morning on my train ride to work. I got off the "L" and started walking to work, someone tapped on my shoulder, I turn around, it's a big black man (big as in buff, not beefy). He asked me if I had a couple of minutes to chat, I said, "Um, what?" I am not the nicest person to strangers and don't really like to be sidetracked by stupid people asking stupid questions. He was like, "Well, I just had to talk to you. I noticed you on the train but it was too loud to talk to you. I missed my stop just so I could come talk to you." I was like, "Oh, well, sorry you missed your stop for nothing, but I am not available or interested." He was like, "So, does that mean I won't get your phone number?" Me, "Yeah!" Him, "Can't we just be friends?" Me, "That is obviously not what you want and I am aware of your ulterior motives, so NO!" He then preceded to tell me that I have the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen and he takes my hand and kisses it. I told him that I have to go, and I washed my hands with hand sanitizer as soon as I was around the next corner. I also checked to make sure that he wasn't following me.

The next guy is one of the doormen in my building, who totally eye raped my chest and winked at me. Later in the day, he followed me outside and asked if he could take me out sometime...Um, NO!

The third was some pervy looking old guy on the elevator going up to my floor, who asked me, "Are you single?" I responded, "Um, NO!" He was like, "Well, if you ever become single, look me up!" Me, "Yeah, okay!?"

Now, I wasn't wearing anything very revealing or showy today, you would have thought that I was wearing nothing but pasties and a g-string, so I am not quite sure what all the fuss is about. I seriously thought that my tits were hanging out or my vagina was on display.

Weird!

White House 2008

As the election approaches, I find myself pondering the choices! This election is going to be a tough one for me, because no one stands out as a leader. I am not happy with any of the choices. I would like to know what everyone else is thinking about the candidates.

Sam Brownback

Newt Gingrich
James Gilmore
Rudolph Giuliani
Mike Huckabee
Duncan Hunter
John McCain
Mitt Romney
Tom Tancredo
Tommy Thompson

Joseph Biden
Hillary Clinton
Christopher Dodd
John Edwards
Mike Gravel
Dennis Kucinich
Barack Obama
Bill Richardson

Concert Ramblings

I went to the Christina Aguilar concert on Saturday night and was not impressed (sorry J-Dawg). The first opening act was Danity Kane, who sucked it up the butt! I have never heard five girls sound like dying cows on stage. I never watched the show on MTV so I have no connection to them. It was a sorry sight, I could have gotten up there with my girls and performed better (well, except for the cute little outfits with the "banging" bodies in them). The next act was The Pussycat Dolls. Now I went to the concert thinking that I was going to take a nap during their act or just stand outside and smoke, but seriously they were AWESOME! I now consider myself an honorary Pussy! Those girls have the tightest bodies I have ever seen. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, moves on them when they dance. There are 6 Pussies total and it appears that 5 of them are completely useless except for the dancing they do. They work their sweet tight asses off on the stage, I bet they slept real good that night! If it wasn't for the fact that they look like trannies in the face, I would totally turn into a carpet muncher! So, anyway, I guess I should put my boner away and get to the main attractions. I like Christina, don't love her like J-Dawg, but she's okay. I have to say that her Dirty Tour was a much better show. I guess I like my girls "Dirty", not all classy and shit. I am tired of going to concerts and feeling like I am going to a Broadway production. I miss the days when there weren't all the props and costume changes. X-Tina actually had a circus set for a portion of the concert, I was shocked that it didn't smell like elephant shit and nasty kids in there. I wish performers would just have a concert and sing, a little dancing is okay, but nothing staged and choreographed. Tickets are so damn expensive and if you want a souvenir forget it, it would be cheaper to buy a life time supply of blow jobs from the hooker down the street. I miss the olden days of cheap tickets, no fuss and muss and just the artist and his/her music.

My New Job!

I have officially completed my 1st week at my new job. I love it! I am working at a law firm in Chicago and there are so many benefits compared to my previous employer. I am being placed where I was hoping and couldn't be more excited to get in there and clean my desk. The person that has been working that desk is a complete pig (she is great and all, but seriously....does your keyboard have to be so slick that my fingers slide off the keys and the phone has to smell like beef???)! I feel like a "big" girl working in the city! I can't wait to share stories about nasty people that I observe on the "L". The pictures above are of my building. My desk is on the 45th floor on the South side. I am lucky enough to have a window desk that has an amazing view of downtown Chicago. The only down side is that walking across the river is HELL...the wind is so fierce that I can barely hold on to my bag, let alone my breath! When people refer to Chicago as "The Windy City" I always get a little annoyed, but now that I have to walk that...it is so fricking true!

Big D's Birthday Picture!

Excuses Excuses!

I am so far behind with blogging, but I have been so frickin' busy! Here are my excuses:

1. I got a new job and I am starting my training on April 2nd. I am so excited about my new position that it doesn't seem real. I couldn't be happier leaving my current employer, however, I am now forced to train my boss on how to do her job before I leave. I have also been very busy shopping for my new job. I have never been a fashion icon or even remotely interested in fashion (except for my sick obsession with America's Next Top Model), but I have found shopping extremely satisfying and entertaining at the same time...weird!

2. Don and I have been doing all the tax-refund home improvements. Since having a kid rocks it hard when it comes to taxes, we use the money we get back to improve our house. Last year we did a major rehab on our living room and dining room area and bought all new furniture. That was a huge huge huge project and we are going significantly more low key this year. We bought new dressers, rugs and lots of small fun stuff. We are going to repaint our bathroom in a few weeks, so that will be fun too!

3. It is officially Spring and my OCD kicks itself into overdrive. With the weather being so gorgeous out, I have the need to clean and organize. I have gotten rid of a total of 5 garbage bags full of clothes, purged basically my whole back porch, and made it into a playroom for Donovan.

4. It's Don's birthday today and he is sick. So much for B-Day sex!

5. We have started potty training with Donovan and I find myself asking if he has to go poop or pee about a million times a day. Instead of actually peeing and pooping in the potty, he likes to put the cushion ring on his head and make silly faces. I find this horribly disgusting, but humorous at the same time!

6. I am getting ready to see Body Worlds at the Science and Industry Museum tomorrow with my girl posse and could not be more excited. I have been waiting for this field trip for over a month now and can't contain my boner any longer.

7. Um, I can't think of any other excuses. I will try to catch up on every body's blog this weekend! Love you guys!

Donovan's Almost Two!

Tomorrow is Donovan's 2nd birthday and I seriously can't believe it. I am in total denial that I have a two year old. This year his party is Cars themed because that is what he thinks about 24/7. He woke up this morning and the first word out of his mouth was, "Caa!" We are keeping his party pretty low key and just having pizza and cake. I can't seem to understand the huge birthday celebrations with all the fancy smancy stuff. I would rather spend more money on his presents than on the balloons and plates. We are again having two parties; one with my family and another with Don's family because of the distance and location thing.

In other news, Don's sister went out and bought herself some boobies, well actually one of her boyfriends bought her boobies and the other one is nursing her back to good health...awwww...how sweet of them!

I've missed all of my blogger friends!

Cool Pictures In The News!

Iranian Revolutionary Guards fire a missile from the back of a truck during wargames near Qom, Iran. The Islamic Republic's ideological army is conducting three days of land exercises amid an escalating international crisis over Iran's nuclear program.
An Iraqi army soldier controls traffic at a checkpoint in Baghdad.
Celebration Revelers dance on top of a 'Unidos da Tijuca' samba school float during the Carnival parade in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, on Monday.

I found these pictures and thought there were kind of neat-o! I promise I will get back to reading and commenting on everyone's blog real real soon! I feel like a bad bad blogger lately!

One Crazy Week!

Last week was so crazy! I went on a job interview and had my car stolen. I have put my resume out there to see what opportunities there are. I have realized (after 10 years) that the only way to increase my income is to find a different employer - I have maxed out and hit my ceiling. The only thing that has kept me at my current job is my friends. I work with my best friend, Jeanette, we have know each other since Jr. Kindergarten and love every minute we're together! I have also made a lot of life long friends that I couldn't imagine my life without...I love you Sarah and Ashley and book club girls! But I have been a rectangle for a while now and I feel like the time is right and I feel a good vibe, not an anxious vibe about making a career move. The first interview went well, it was with a consulting company that will help find job opportunities to place me and they are actually full time with benefits kind of jobs, not the "Would you like to buy a set of knives?" kind of job. I am excited about the first possibility and will hopefully have my second interview this upcoming week. Wish me luck!

The other thing that kept me busy this week was my car. My car was stolen on Friday night from my parking spot just down the block from my apartment. I found out when I walked to my car Saturday morning on my way to go to work and found no car. So I called the police and did that whole hassle thing. They found out that the my license plate number was run at 5:20am a few towns over, but nothing was done because they didn't know the car was stolen. I was kind of bummed. My car is a piece of shit and needs alot of work that I can't afford but it was paid off and that felt good. I have been contemplating buying a new car, but financially that isn't an option right now (hence the job search) and my insurance would have given me the value of the car. Low and behold, the car was found in the parking lot of a bar about 10 miles away that evening and nothing was touched. There was no apparent damage and nothing was stolen...so I got to take her home. I had mixed feelings about this, I was excited at the possibility of a new car but also pissed about the hassle and money aspect. I am thinking that because things worked out so well with the car situation that maybe the new job situation will be lucky too!

Space Rules!

Cosmic cluster: An image from NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope shows the Helix nebula, a cosmic starlet often known for its vivid colors and resemblance to a giant eye. The nebula, located about 700 light-years away in the constellation Aquarius, belongs to a class of objects called planetary nebulae.

Hmmmmmmmm #2

Former Republican governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney stands with his family after announcing his candidacy for president at The Henry Ford Museum.

Hmmmmmm

Obama: I'm running for president!

Sen. Barack Obama officially entered the race for president Saturday in the Illinois capital, urging Americans who hear "destiny calling" to join him in "the unfinished business of perfecting our union," then headed out to start campaigning in earnest in the battleground state of Iowa.

Doesn't he have sheep to heard??? Will he really have the time to dedicate to the country and it's best interest??? Concerened voters need to know!

The Luckiest Baby In The World

Anna Nicole Smith died Thursday at a South Florida hospital after being discovered unconscious in her hotel room. The reality TV star, Playboy Playmate and former Guess model was 39. She checked into the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida, on Monday with her lawyer and boyfriend, Howard K. Stern and never checked out! I felt sorry for her when her son died and was shocked that she was allowed to have more children, but her little girl is the luckiest baby girl in the world since she won't have the detrimental effects of being "raised" by Anna Nicole. Rest in peace Anna Nicole, you will not be missed on earth!

Thanks DMV and Jesse White!

Dear Jesse White and the Department of Motor Vehicles:

I never thought I would be thanking you since I have had nothing but bad times at your facilities, but you really came through. You are saving thousands from the frustration of road rage and the irritation that is caused by bad drivers. You are going to be saving many lives, and for this I am thankful. The last thing I would imagine is you guys doing your jobs but I am in awe of your foresight and protocol. Thank you DMV for failing my grandmother on her driving test!

Sincerely,

Jenny

*** My Grandma just turned 80 and should have never been allowed a drivers license. She never drove because my grandpa always did all the driving, but now that he is almost blind my grandma has been behind the wheel. She just recently went to the DMV to renew her license and she failed the test. It is such a good thing that she isn't driving anymore, she has had more accidents and shit happen since she started driving and it is better for everyone that she failed!