WTF???

A girl and her grandparents have sued the Chicago Board of Education, alleging that a substitute teacher showed the R-rated film "Brokeback Mountain" in class. The lawsuit claims that Jessica Turner, 12, suffered psychological distress after viewing the movie in her 8th grade class at Ashburn Community Elementary School last year.
The film, which won three Oscars, depicts two cowboys who conceal their homosexual affair. Turner and her grandparents, Kenneth and LaVerne Richardson, are seeking around $500,000 in damages. "It is very important to me that my children not be exposed to this," said Kenneth Richardson, Turner's guardian. "The teacher knew she was not supposed to do this." According to the lawsuit filed Friday in Cook County Circuit Court, the video was shown without permission from the students' parents and guardians. The substitute asked a student to shut the classroom door, saying: "What happens in Ms. Buford's class stays in Ms. Buford's class," according to the lawsuit. Richardson said his granddaughter was traumatized by the movie and had to undergo psychological treatment and counseling. In 2005, Richardson complained to school administrators about reading material that he said included curse words. "This was the last straw," he said. "I feel the lawsuit was necessary because of the warning I had already given them on the literature they were giving out to children to read. I told them it was against our faith."

Are they serious??? How much money are they suing for because the kid watched "Brokeback Mountain"??? If they win this suit, I am moving out of the country! Please tell me what kind of psychological treatment does one need after watching a movie? I can guarantee that the girl has already done much worse than what happened in that movie and could teach the cowboys a few things. And the grandparents are justifying this suit because of the "warning" the school was given about the literature used in school. I have a problem with censoring literature in schools, I believe that children need to be exposed to all types of literature, even if it includes "curse words" and racist slang's - some of the best literary works contain these things...If they didn't like that literature, they should have enrolled her in a private school! Ahhhhh...I hate people! I think I might steal Sarah's Blog Idea of a
"Dead To Me List"!

Can I Sign Your Cast?

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands -- Dutch customs police turned a fake break into a real bust Friday when they stopped a woman trying to smuggle 3.3 pounds of cocaine into the country in a plaster cast on her leg. Police spokesman Rob Stenacker said the woman, whose name was not released, acted nervously while her passport was being checked and agents became suspicious about the thickness of the cast. "She had two different letters from a doctor about her leg, and both of them appeared fake," he said. A sniffer dog quickly indicated that the cast contained more than plaster. The woman was taken to hospital, where an X-ray revealed the drugs but no fractures. Stenacker said the woman, from the Latin American country of Suriname, was arrested and will face smuggling charges.

Why Couldn't It Be Brad?!?

Universal Pictures has casted Angelina Jolie to star alongside James McAvoy and Morgan Freeman in "Wanted", the graphic novel adaptation to be directed by Timur Bekmambetov (???). The movie will be Angelina’s next role since baby, with shooting to begin in Eastern Europe in early May and then in Chicago. I am so lucky because now my life gets to be inconvenienced by this. They will be closing down streets around my work for days at a time. I wouldn't be upset if the chance to see Brad Pitt was possible, but I don't like Angelina. The movie also sounds stupid. It is reminiscent of Lora Croft Tomb Raider - which was a piece of shit.

Here is a sneak peak: McAvoy will play a young man who discovers his father is an assassin, only to learn shortly thereafter that his dad has been murdered. The youth is drafted to follow in his father’s footsteps. Jolie will play an assassin who teaches the ropes to the wannabe killer.

Wow...sounds just great! Thanks Universal Pictures for fucking up my life for another piece of shit, over budgeted disaster!

Puffing Away That PG Rating

The Motion Picture Association of America on Thursday said portrayals of smoking would be considered alongside sex and violence in assessing the suitability of movies for young viewers. Films that appear to glamorize smoking will risk a more restrictive rating, and descriptions of tobacco use will be added to the increasingly detailed advisories that accompany each rated film. Under the new policy, a film’s rating will consider all tobacco use, rather than just teenage smoking, as in the past.

Do you think movies that contain smoking deserve a more restrictive rating?

A New Attitude for the Hip - AKA - Fugly

Alice Roi purse pack, $250.

Kris Van Assche waist pack, $356.

A 3.1 Phillip Lim buckled pouch, $300.

In Australia, they call it a “bum bag.” In France, it’s “le banane.” Apparently much of the world regards the fanny pack, that belted pouch often seen around the large mid-section of unsophisticated (white trash) travelers, as little more than a gag item. I will never be seen wearing a fucking fanny pack...especially not a $300 one!!!

Billboards and Vegans

*** The city of Chicago has taken down a racy billboard that proclaimed "Life is short. Get a divorce." The billboard featured photos of a scantily clad woman and a shirtless man and was an ad for Chicago divorce attorney Corri Fetman. The display drew criticism from some residents in the Rush Street neighborhood and from other lawyers, who say the ad sullies their profession. The billboard was removed a week after it went up after Ald. Burton Natarus (42nd) determined it didn't have a proper permit. Fetman says her billboard was no threat to people in happy marriages. And she says it was taken down without due process. Fetman's law partner, Kelly Garland, added that even people who disliked the billboard should worry about what its removal means for free speech.

- Being an advocate for free speech, I don't think the billboard should have been taken down. It shows the comic side of lawyers, which sometimes is hard to find! I just think it's funny and I don't think it's glamorizing divorce (which is a serious problem)! It's not any worse than the billboards for Diamonds Gentleman's Club.

*** A vegan couple was sentenced Wednesday to life in prison for the death of their malnourished 6-week-old baby boy, who was fed a diet largely consisting of soy milk and apple juice. Superior Court Judge L.A. McConnell imposed the sentences on Jade Sanders, 27, and Lamont Thomas, 31. Their son, Crown Shakur, weighed just 3 1/2 pounds when he died of starvation on April 25, 2004. The couple was found guilty May 2 of malice murder, felony murder, involuntary manslaughter and cruelty to children. A jury deliberated about seven hours before returning the guilty verdicts. Defense lawyers said the first-time parents did the best they could while adhering to the lifestyle of vegans, who typically use no animal products. They said Sanders and Thomas did not realize the baby, who was born at home, was in danger until minutes before he died.

- What is wrong with people??? Their lawyers said, "they did the best they could" - um...NO, they didn't...babies need to be fed to live!!! I don't know any vegans, but are doctors on their list of things to avoid too? There is not doctor in their right mind who would have not admitted this child after that kind of dramatic weight loss or lack of weight gain, they must not be fans of healthcare professionals. This makes me so angry, how stupid can people be?!? How do you not realize that your baby isn't healthy when he weighs only 3 pounds at six weeks old? He must have weighed more at birth, otherwise, he would have still been in the hospital! I am sick to my stomach! They bitch and moan about meat eaters, but they forget about everyone's right to choose their own life style, their baby should have been given that choice.

Frivolous Shit!

Most-Wanted: The Dog!!!

A man who didn't have a will left a $2 million estate, but the most hotly contested item in court has been his golden retriever, Alex. The four-way dispute over the 13-year-old pet was so intense, an attorney was appointed to represent the dog's interest. On Monday, the judge decided the man's divorced parents should split custody, The Commercial Appeal reported."At first glance, the petition seems almost frivolous, but after speaking with all parties, it is evident that this is a highly emotional issue for all involved," said Alex's attorney. Ron Callan Jr., 35, committed suicide on New Year's Day. In the consent order the judge approved, the elder Callan and his ex-wife, Esther Snow Gnall, will trade custody of Alex every two weeks. Both parents also agreed to take the dog to the veterinarian for arthritis treatments and any other needed procedures. Before the agreement was reached, the elder Callan had custody and took Alex to work during the day. The father has cats at home, though, so at night, the dog stayed with Callan Jr.'s former girlfriend, who had known Alex since he was a puppy. The son's fiancee also was interested in Alex, and Gnall had said if she won custody, she would allow the fiancee to spend time with the dog. Royal, the dog's attorney, said he believes all four people love Alex and would take good care of him, but they were using the fight for the dog to punish each other for past transgressions."This case is similar to a bitter custody battle involving children where each party loves the children, but the kids are stuck between two people who cannot coexist," the attorney said in his report. Copyright © 2007, The Associated Press

Are you fucking kidding me! Now, if this was Lassie, then maybe I would understand...but no! These people obviously have too much money, too much time, and too little brain! It's a fucking dog! I can take the $2 million estate off their hands to help heal their wounds, shit, I'd even give them my two dogs!

Derby Hats

I guess wearing lavish hats is a tradition at the Kentucky Derby...um, okay...why?

Here are a few that caught my eye...

I like the hat because its a very artsy picture. Her lipstick matches the rose shade almost perfectly and she looks very sophisticated. I guess I like the picture more than the hat itself.

So, it's not the hat in this picture that grabbed my attention. It's Star Jones and her floppy weird looking boobs. I can't stop looking at them...gross! I also can't take my eyes off of her extremely long fingers and have this mental picture of her gripping Stedman's johnson (wait is Stedman Ophrah's man???)

This is a really ugly hat, however; worn by Jenny McCarthy it looks stunning. She is my favorite celebrity female of all time. I think she is the most gorgeous girl. She is very talented as well: Playboy Playmate (doesn't take talent, just a banging body and a great rack, which she has), a TV host (most fantastic show on MTV years ago), a writer (I think she has written two books) and actress (also doesn't take talent, just a Playboy membership in tow). But that's okay, because I will never stop loving her! I should put my Jenny McCarthy boner away now and move on!

She only wants me for my pimp juice!

I'll let Nelly take this one...

"You actin like you never seen it befo' Like them country boys ain't got no dough Bitch please - GET OUT - but don't you slam that do' DUST YOUR SHOES OFF - befo' you touch that flo' Cause you wanna put your feet on my rug, don'tcha? You really wanna put your feet on my rug, don'tcha? You're in a hurry - SLOW DOWN - and I might letcha touch it You ain't from Russia, so bitch why you rushin'?"

"Pimp juice - oooooooooh-ooooooooh-hoooooooo I think I need to let it loose (might think I need to let it loose) Let her loose, let her loooooose She only want me for my pimp juice (that's all she want me for f'real) Not my pimp juice, I'm talkin new pimp juiceI think I need to cut her loose (it's time for homegirl to recognize) Yes I do, yes I doooooo-hoooo"

Weekend Recap

Friday:

* Worked my butt off at work, for the first time ever at my new job!

* Celebrated Sarah's birthday by going out to dinner at Rockit and then to Howl at the Moon for drinks and music. It was the most fun I have had at a bar in a long time. Howl at the Moon is a dueling piano bar where you make requests and they play them...excellently! My ears are still ringing. It was a good night with my girls! We took the train back and Ashley sat in piss, it was fantastic! Sarah's fiance picked us up from the train and tried to get a foursome going...no such luck my man, he didn't provide my Snickers which is required for group sex!

Saturday:

* Had my first Saturday off of work since like two years and it was excellent. I spent time with Donovan and we went on a Mommy/Son date. Donovan and I decided to celebrate Cinqo di Mayo at Lalo's (Donovan is a quarter Mexican). I had the most wonderful burrito and he ate chicken nuggets and ketchup...I know, not very Mexican, but whatever he's two! Then we watched trains, cars and trucks go by beside the expressway. It was a good day!

* The horse I picked to win in the Kentucky Derby actually won...great job Street Sense! I wish I had actually bet money on it!

Sunday:

* Put in some overtime at work...the extra cash is sweet!

* Went out to dinner with my boys and that's about it! Donovan has a newly required addiction to Shrek so we bought Shrek 2 and I forgot how fucking funny that movie was! I love Donkey!

* Didn't get any action this weekend, fucking Don has pink eye and a severe cold and the medicine is making him drowsy or what not! Sucks! Should have taken up Sarah's fiance on his offer!

Breast Talk

So, during lunch I was trying to decide what to post about this afternoon. After thinking long and hard (no I am not referring to your junk Ratty), and noticing a man staring, I decided on breastfeeding. I am huge advocate for breastfeeding, in fact I feel that a woman should breastfeed her baby unless there is a medical reason why she can't. There is no good reason to not breastfeed. Now, I'm not a crazy La Lecha League member or anything, but it's one of those things that I feel strongly about.

My questions is this...Do men who are not breastfeed as infants stare at woman's tits more than men who were breastfeed?

Here's what I am thinking...all men like boobs...right??? The psychological link is that men are attracted to large breasts because they would be able to provide more milk for their children and ensure survival (back in the day). So are modern day men craving breasts because they weren't breastfeed? Since we no longer have to relay on breast milk for our children's survival, are breasts just becoming unimportant? And will they eventually genetically phase out because there isn't a practical use for boobs anymore (covering with whipped cream isn't practical...FYI)?

Going To Lunch!

I am going to go to lunch now...but I think I will post when I get back! I actually had some work to do this morning, fucking work, interfering with my blogging addiction!

Tag

I was tagged by Hammer! This is a meme...which I now know what that is...thanks again Hammer!

1. What is the stupidest mistake you have ever made with money?
I am cheap so I can't think of anything big...probably having $500 cash in my wallet and then leaving my purse unattended around bastard children at work.

2. Do you think taxes are unfair or do you think it's your civic duty?
I think that paying taxes is a civic duty, however; I hate doing it and I hate seeing the way my tax dollars are spent, I dream about what I could buy with the taxes I pay...having a kid helps with that!

3. Do you take risks and possibly turn your life upside down for new opportunity?
I am a conservative risk taker...I will take risks, but not risk everything in the process.

4. Are you the alpha in your household?
I wear pants!

5. Do you compromise with your significant other or does someone always get their way?
I am stubborn so I have a hard time compromising, but I do try.

6. What curse word do you use most often?
Fuck

7. Do you easily change your mind or are you dead set on most issues?
I'm as stubborn as a bull...I can sometimes understand the other side, but NEVER change my mind.

8. What famous person would you like to trade places with for one week?
Brad Pitt...I would spend the week touching myself naughty!

9. If you could go back in time and tell one person off, who would it be and what would you say? I would tell off the girl who caused the car accident I was in a few years ago. She was such a bitch, I had a visibly shattered humerus all twisted and shit and was unable to get out of my car and she was yelling at me to get out of the car...um, hello, you totalled my car and the doors don't work...help me! There are other things she did, but I won't get into that. I would not have very nice things to say to her! I would probably end up killing her so it's best that time travel isn't an option for me.

10. Were you a good student or did you do just enough to get by?
I was both, I did just enough to get by with A's - which wasn't very hard! I never found school challenging.

11. If you could give one piece of advice to someone just starting out on their own, what would you tell them?
Get out of your parents house, never go back and be independent. Find your own way!

12. Are people basically good and honest or are most people opportunistic and predatory?
I think most people are good at heart, but evil things, thoughts, and actions are just too tempting for most peoples will.

13. Is there somebody you wish you could go back and apologize to?
Nope!

For My British Guys!

Britain's Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown gets tangled up in netting from balloons which were released during the opening of Westfield School in Sheffield.

So guys, tell me is he a good egg or a bad egg?

He looks kind of like a doofus, but embarrasing shit happens!

Bitch and Bone

He just won...you don't need to tell me that...

I can tell by the massive boner in his shorts!

Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey pictured after attending a hearing at the Federal Court House in Washington, is being accused of running a prostitution ring in the Washington area that allegedly catered to upscale clients. I don't know about everyone else, but what kind of people would pay her money...she hit every branch on her fall from the ugly tree.

Great! A Fucking Rally!

Marchers are beginning to gather west of Chicago's Loop for today's immigration rights march and rally. Police officers have also begun setting up crowd control barricades along the demonstration route, which is expected to draw thousands of marchers. Organizers are hoping to mimic last year's rally when 400,000 flag-waving, chanting participants gathered in the heart of downtown. Chicago police, anticipating today's march will be larger than first expected, announced Monday that demonstrators will be rerouted to Grant Park instead of Daley Plaza, where the rally had been scheduled to take place. Police attributed the 11th-hour switch to public safety concerns, after anger over a bust at an alleged fake-ID business in Little Village last week stirred up emotions surrounding the march. The change surprised march organizers, who had chosen Daley Plaza as the symbolic heart of the city. The venue, they hoped, would lend weight to calls to legalize the country's estimated 12 million undocumented immigrants and to stop federal raids.

That was an exert from the Chicago Tribune describing today's rally. Illegal immigration is a hot topic for me that I am not going to touch upon in my Blog. I was annoyed that they were going to be meeting at the Daley Plaza because that is where I get on the L to go home and the last thing I want to do is fight my way through angry protesters to go home. I would probably end up punching someone in the face and that just wouldn't be good! I am so glad that they are being rerouted to Grant Park instead. I just better not be inconvenienced during my lunch hour!!! It's all about me...not the 12 million ILLEGAL immigrants!!!

Just one thing (I just can't keep it in)...they are protesting against Federal raids...um, maybe if you are breaking the law you should expect the law to break you! Fuck!!!

Bong Table and Hot Guys!

lt looks like exquisite marble, but the Bong table is made of mere plastic — a feat of technology harnessed by Italian design maestro Giulio Cappellini. The round coffee table at the Salone in Milan gets its white Carrara marblelike good looks from a sophisticated chemical process.

Can someone explain to me why it is named "the Bong"??? And what kind of technological "feat" are we harnessing here? It is plastic...right?!? Maybe I am just ignorant to the importance of this table and the impact that it will have on society.

Special forces of the German police are seen on a helicopter during a training session over Frankfurt, Germany.

These guys are bad ass...I want to do that...or rather have sex with the ones who do that!

Bored and Paid

I have been kind of a psycho lately with the blogging. My new job has given me lots and lots of time to blog, peruse the Internet, and stalk my email. I have been told that this is the "slow" time of the year at The Firm and that we will be busy soon. I have also been told that if there isn't any work to do, do whatever you want, just make sure those phones are answered...um, you must mean the two or three calls that come in every day? So, I sit here getting paid (decently) for blogging, listening to music and obsessively commenting and re-commenting. I have to apologize to those of you who have fallen victim to my obsessive commenting! I wish everyone had a job like mine so we could comment back and forth all day long! It gets lonely and boring here, so please blog more people!

This One's For Don!

Hawking in zero gravity in this handout photo provided by Zero Gravity Corp., astrophysicist Stephen Hawking floats on a zero-gravity jet, Thursday. The modified jet carrying Hawking, a handful of his physicians and nurses and dozens of others first flew up to 24,000 feet over the Atlantic Ocean off Florida. Nurses lifted Hawking and carried him to the front of the jet, where they placed him on his back atop a special foam pillow. The plane made a total of eight parabolic dips, including two during which Hawking made two weightless flips like "a gold-medal gymnast," said Peter Diamandis, chairman of Zero Gravity Corp., the company that owns the jet. Doesn't Hawking kind of look like Robin Williams???

Art My Ass!

Swiss artist Jean-Frederic Schnyder's artwork "Waegeli" (little push chairs) is pictured in the museum for contemporary art in Basel, Switzerland, on April 27. Are you kidding me...that's art! I have a really hard time swallowing some of the "contemporary art" that we place in museums. Yeah, that's art...the art of being a crazy ass time waster!

They're Totally Gonna Do It!

Sen. Barack Obama, left, shares a laugh with Sen. Hilary Clinton, prior to the start of the '08 Democratic presidential primary debate hosted by the South Carolina State University. There seems to be a lot of sexual tension here, I think Bill might get his wish (oh, wait...he wishes for her death, not her adultery)!