Funny Things!

Holy Road Rage

Here's the story...

Don, Donovan and I were going to see Grandma Taco in Downers Grove this morning. We were getting on the Eisenhower at Des Plaines so we were going to be merging into the left hand lane. Now, at 10:30am on a Sunday, there was no traffic. I had my turn signal on and was in the process of merging when the small SUV in the left lane decided to speed up and run me onto the shoulder. My reflexes are super sharp because I had my middle finger up and ready for when she passed us, which was only with a few inches to spare. Since there was no traffic the bitch should have just moved into the center lane if she didn't want cars in front of her, instead of waiting and then flooring it to pass me before I merged into the left lane. So, needless to say, I was a little pissed off...Don too. I immediately merged into the center lane, caught up to her, drove right next to her honked to get her attention and Don and I gleefully flicked her off while screaming obscenities at the dumb bitch. She immediately slowed and changed lanes. We watched her in the rear view mirror swerving in and out of lanes and making a lot of distance between us. We then see her coming up fast next to us, Don said, "Ohhh, looks like this bitch wants something!" We look over at her and she is gently displaying what looked to be a Bible at us through her window. She took off fast, but not quickly enough to miss our final flick off. Don and I were laughing at the whole situation and we got to Grandma Taco's without any more problems.

Here's my question...

What was the purpose of displaying her Bible to us?

Was she...
A. Showing us that God is on her side?
B. Afraid that we were going to bust a cap in her ass?
C. Afraid that we were satanic crazyies?
D. Not able to express road rage appropriately?
E. Just a Bible banging weirdo?
F. Not holding up a Bible, but a Koran?

The Word Wizard

Donovan had his 18 month check-up today (I can't believe he's 18 months old) and it went pretty well. We, unfortunately, had to change pediatrician because our old doctor dropped my insurance company. The new doctor's office is nice, the staff and nurses are great. The doctor was different. It's not that I didn't like her or that I didn't think she was competent, it's that she didn't wear a white doctors coat. I don't know what it is, but that white coat really has an impact on me. It's probably conditioning, but I really like the white coat. I was skeptical about Donovan's 1st doctor and then came to absolutely love him, so I'm sure this one will work out too, it will just take a few visits for me to determine for sure.

Good news, Donovan is doing great! He got 3 shots, in the arm...not the leg this time, which I thought was a little weird since his arms have less meat. Our hopes of him becoming a basketball player have once again been shot down the toilet...Surprise surprise! He's a shorty, but everything is perfectly proportioned. I voiced my concerns about Donovan's language development and I pretty much have decided that I am over-reacting. His doctor is totally not concerned, either was his last doctor, and my mom has continuously told me that he is developing on target, in fact ahead of most 18 month olds she knows and boys talk less and later than girls do. I trust my mom over anyone on the development stuff, she majored in ECE and she's been the director of a daycare for a long time. My mom is just the baby lady. She knows her stuff and this is her purpose, her life, her passion. Even though every expert has told me to stop worrying, I can't seem to get it out of my mind. He's a smart boy and he is ahead of the developmental curve, I guess I was just expecting a word wizard.

My Sister The Hottie!

Maggie and I absolutely adore the show America's Next Top Model, it is sinful...yet delicious! I am totally not into fasion, but I love the photography and the drama! The season premier is Wednesday and I couldn't be more excited about the cast. Personally, if Maggie was old enough for the show, I think she would totally get casted and win! Or maybe she could just go into porn! Whichever...DSL's baby! I'd be her agent!

My Creative Genius!

Spending time with grandma is great fun mom! She lets me get so messy!

Acting 101

Disbelief

Worry

Shock

Contemplative

Ideals Vs. Reality

I have been thinking recently about how my ideals of parenting have changed since Donovan came into my life. Things that I thought were big no no's in my head for parenting and things that I said I would never do are things that I find myself doing with my son. It has started to bother me because I never thought that I would change my ideals and give in. The things that bother me the most are the pacifier, co-sleeping and TV.

IDEAL: I was adamant about NO pacifier. I thought that it was a bad habit and that his thumb would do fine to soothe and comfort him. My sisters and I never had a pacifier and we're just fine (expect for my oral-fixation). I absolutely hate children who walk around with pacifiers in their mouths, especially when they are like 5 years old. I always felt that the pacifier was an "easy" way out for parents and that it would hinder language development.

REALITY: I started using a pacifier with Donovan before he was even 24 hours old. He had an insatiable sucking instinct and my nipples needed a break. My nipples hurt worse than the C-section did. I demanded a pacifier and we have used it ever since. Our rule is that he only gets the "binky" when is is going to take a nap or got to bed. We stick to that most of the time, but sometimes we get weak and break down. When he hurts himself...I get the binky, when he is crabby but it is too early for bed...I get the binky, when he colors or paints...I get the binky (that one is so he doesn't eat the crayons and finger paint). I have tried so hard to let this go, but I feel guilty for introducing the pacifier. Everytime I give it to him when it isn't bed or nap time, it drives me nuts.

IDEAL: Children sleep in cribs. I was so against co-sleeping. The bed should be an off limits area to children kept especially for moms and dads. Parents need an intimate space for themselves.

REALITY: This is all Don's fault. I wanted him to sleep in his crib in his room when we came home from the hospital, but Don insisted that he sleep with us. We used the little mattress with the side thing in the middle of our bed. It was really easy for me to breastfeed him in the middle of the night every two hours, so I got lazy. I also got accustomed to having Donovan with me at night. Then when I decided that I wanted my bed back I had a nightmare of a time getting him to sleep in his crib. I was so frustrated that I would break down in tears. We started the sleeping in the crib when he was almost 1 year and after about a month of complete frustration, he got use to it. Then summer hit (fucking heat) and Donovan sweats like a little pig. The minute his eyes close, he is dripping with sweat. We only have two window units in our bedroom and in the living room, so back to sleeping in our bed because mommy felt awful that you were so damn hot! I seriously couldn't bear to leave him in that hot ass room while he was sweating so profusely. Since the temperature is cooling off again, I am going to start the crib sleeping routine again. I will miss him so much at night - he is a great snuggler. FYI - co-sleeping doesn't really effect sex, just makes it more interesting!

IDEAL: Children under the age of 5 shouldn't watch TV. Blah blah blah, we all know why!

REALITY: Donovan wakes up in the morning and goes to the living room and turns on the TV, Cable box and AMP to watch Sponge Bob Square Pants and Dora The Explorer. He does this all by himself. Donovan really only watches TV in the morning until breakfast and then sometimes at night. The TV is pretty much on all day long, but not really used. I watch about 3 hours of TV a week when Donovan is awake and watch movies with Don when Donovan goes to bed. I should just turn the damn thing off, but I really enjoy the background noise. We do listen to music a lot but even when were not in the room the TV is on. There is no TV watching during meals or snacks. I feel like he could easily turn into a TV addict since he has been able to work the entertainment center properly since he was like 12 months old.

***Okay, I am done, sorry for that. I needed to get that off my chest so that maybe some of my guilt will dissipate. Looking at the big pictures these things must seem stupid to most people for me to feel guilty about, but I am so stubborn about things that it bothers me that I gave in.

That Was A Quick One!

I finished Running With Scissors today, I started Tuesday so I am impressed with myself. It was a really good book, I couldn't put it down. Jeanette and Sarah are also going to read it and we are going to CPK to discuss it! I can't believe how fucked up people/situations are. This book is labeled a memoir, but I find that hard to believe. I know that there are fucked up families and that not everybody grows up in a normal household, but seriously...read this book and tell me how unbelievable this family unit is!

When Nature Strikes!

What happens when you have a very hungry 5 foot ball python and a man with white latex gloves sticking his hand in the feeding tank???

Snake bite!

Serp, our 5 foot long ball python, was ready for his feeding today since he has gone a while without one. We could only acquire a large mouse at the local PetCo (sorry Sarah, I like them better than PetSmart) and he usually eats a large rat. We got two just in case one split or was rotten or whatever. I prepared the hot water to defrost the little bugger while Don transferred Serp into his feeding tank and cleaned out his home tank. I don't exactly like to handle pre-killed anything so I don't actually touch the mouse to make sure that it is completely defrosted (and yes, I do put them into like 3 baggies just to make sure nothing gets out). So, I told Don, "foods ready" and he opened up the bags and held the mouse by its tail (he wears latex gloves while doing this) and then hovered the mouse every so gently above the tank through the open crack at the top. Serp seemed very uninterested because Don told me that, "its too damn cold for him". I was like well, "If he's hungry enough...he'll eat it an be just fine"! Meanwhile, Don was doing the mouse dance (dangling the dead mouse around the tank to piss off the 5 foot snake) to entice Serp. Well, Serp was enticed and was about to strike when the mouse tail slipped from Don's hand and bonked Serp on the head. Serp was pissed, not only because the mouse attacked him...but because the mouse was still an icicle. I was about to go get the other frozen mouse to start defrosting so we could try again, when Don said, "Let me get this one out first!" I was like, "BAD IDEA!!!!!!!!!" Don didn't heed my warning and went to grab the dead frozen mouse. Now lets just think a moment...Don was wearing white gloves that looked like little Mickey Frozen Mouse and he was clearly warm enough to eat and a moving target getting awfully close to the strike zone. Big surprise here, Serp bit Don. Don pulled back and Serp re-coiled, both a little scared. Don has very minor bite wounds and thankfully Serp is a constrictor and not venomous. Serp ripped through the gloves and left 3 or 4 puncture type wounds on the webbing part of Don's hand between his thumb and pointer finger. Not a serious injury at all, so I don't feel bad when I can say, "I told you so" and actually have great proof to back it up with. Don's not much of a baby (I think to protect his masculinity) but if that was me, I would have shit myself and then cried all day long! Good thing I'm not a fuck-tard with nature!

My Reading Goal!

Since the BAMF's aren't going to be meeting until beginning of November, I have decided to set some reading goals for myself. I really like having book club once a month because then I am constantly reading. I usually finish our club book in a week and then have some time to read one in between. I am a little disappointed that we are waiting two months for our next meeting since the book we are reading looks like a quick read kind of book. I have already started The Amateur Marriage by Anne Tyler but haven't been able to really get into the book. I started it before The Carnal Prayer Mat and haven't picked it up since I finished. I am determined to finish this one since it would bother me to leave a book half read. I also decided to read Running With Scissors By Augusten Burroughs. I have heard that it is a really good book so I have motivation to finish The Amateur Marriage first. So, if anyone else would like to read either of these books, we can arrange our own personal meeting.

P.S. This would be posted on our BAMF's blog except I was having technical difficulties with the posting!

I Need A G.A.D Transplant!

Does anyone know of any good G.A.D transplant surgeons??? If so, tell them you know a girl in a funk with a broken G.A.D (Give A Damn)!

So work is really bumming me out, I am frustrated and angry with management and not much I can do about it. I should expect this because it happens quarterly when I show up on the P&L reports as an "L". Instead of looking at my 10 years experience, my vast knowledge of the business, my ability to run things blind folded with one hand tied behind my back and my overall dedication to the mission and success of the company...I am considered a loss not a profit. Why? Because they have to pay for those things. I do understand the reasons for considering me a loss, but really I hate that they have no appreciation for dedication and knowledge. I know that I am not the Bill Gates of this company, but I really feel that I help make our center successful. I also know that the center would survive without me, but I would like to think that it wouldn't be as efficient...or fun!

I don't know how to fix my broken "give a damn" but I do know that maybe it is time for a change. I'm going to put my resume out there and see if anything happens. I really don't want to make this kind of change in my life right now, but at some point my G.A.D isn't going to bounce back and I may go postal!

P.S. Thanks Jeanette for introducing me to the G.A.D phrase - I just love it because it describes how I feel, perfectly!

Finally!

So we have had to wait like 5 months(?) to meet little Suri Cruise and here she is. She's not black, to my suprise! I just wonder if she is all that the wait has cracked her up to be? She's kind of scary looking...maybe she is an alien after all - or it could just be Tom's sperm!

You Like My Shades???

You can call me...Elton John!

Crikey...I Can't Believe He's Dead!

This is my tribute to Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter. I seriously can't believe that he died. His show was one of my favorite Animal Planet shows of all time. I feel so bad for his two little kids, his wife and Suey (his dog for those of you non-CH watchers. I loved his enthusiasm and respect for animals. He was one of the top conservationist in the world and will be dearly missed. The way he passed is so shocking to me - it was meant to happen and it was just his time to go do bigger and better things!

Jeanette's B-Day Bash!

Happy Birthday Jeanette!

Jeanette rang in her quarter of a century day at my house with a few friends. It was kind of a last minute party, but turned out really well. The only thing that I am not happy with is the fact that we didn't get to play Harry Potter Scene-It. We played Catch Phrase (my personal fav) and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (John's hosting made it so much more fun - in fact, I don't think I would want to play unless John was Regis). It was a liquids only party - some food may have been a decent idea, but too late now. Clean up was a breeze, it is so nice to have "adult" friends who are mature and considerate. The only spill was mine, so we got pretty lucky. Those in attendance were: Jeanette, John, me, Don, Sarah, Josue, Ashley, Judy, Dan (my hot neighbor) and his cousin Jeff. I am really glad that Ashley came, since initially she wasn't going to. She made the night a lot of fun. And of course, my girl Sarah, was a delight. The parties that we have had in the past usually end up with me pissed off and on a psychotic rampage, but this was so fun. We had significantly less liquor than the usual, but it was like the perfect amount. We went through 5 bottles of wine, a case and a half of beer, a few Mikes Hard Lemonades, and a bottle of Rasberri Stoli.

I can't decide on my favorite part of the evening, so here are a few highlights:

Sarah bruising Don's nipples with all the titi twisters, me breaking the chair when hoping on Sarah's lap, Jeanette and her party pants, John's Millionaire show, Judy being a pimp, Dan being hot, the soggy Millionaire life line tokens, Jeff not zipping up his pants, me repeatedly ripping off Sarah's shirt, Jeanette's stripper dance, Jeanette flashing, Ashley laughing so hard she snorted, Don bringing out the dirty playing cards, Sarah studying the dirty playing cards, Josue chillin' takin in all the girl on girl action or all the ass slapping and booby grabbing.

Wow, that sounds pretty exciting...I bet those of you not there wish you were!

Happy/Sad

Donovan is such a goof! He never stops making me smile!

This picture breaks my heart...he looks so sad with his one tear.

The DNC's Barking Up The Wrong Tree!

Donovan, Don and I were actually eating dinner together - it is a rarity in our house, and when it happens it's really nice...when...the doorbell rings. Now, we don't get a lot of unexpected visitors and at this particular time, we definitely weren't expecting anyone. Since Don and I act like we are 80 years old sometimes, we had to discuss who we thought was at the door - instead of going to check right away. I was already a little peeved because someone was interrupting our dinner, so I went to answer the door and who do you suppose was there to greet me???

The D-fucking-NC! A young man (fresh off the Greenpeace boat) dressed in his very sharp, brand new DNC t-shirt greeted me with warm smiles and promises of a better future (barf). I was in an okay mood, so I let him introduce himself and give his brief biography. He then proceeded to ask for my charitable donation for the primaries. I politely (I'm actually not lying here folks) told him that, "I am a Republican so I will be contributing to them. Good luck!" He looked at me as if I had just told him that his mother was sucking the Govenator's dick. I was still very polite, maybe just a little more intense, as I told him that, "I would recommend you don't ring the bell next door, as you will be entering a battle of wits, unarmed!" He was confused...although I didn't expect him to not be confused, because after all...he is a volunteer for the DNC.

I have no problem with Democrats, in fact a lot of my close friends are playing for the wrong team, but what I do have a problem with is the fact that this twerp gave me a disgusted look. I respect peoples choices and don't make faces at them when I am trying to raise money. At least try to be a good role model for your party. It's embarrassing that people act so childish. I will admit that I can get heated sometimes, but I try not to be an asshole about it.

It reminds me of the newspaper article that I read shortly after Bush was elected for his second term (I can't locate it right now, but when I do, I'll post it). A journalist went to New York and wore a Bush t-shirt and walked the streets in a predominantly democratic area to record peoples reactions. He then walked around with a Gore t-shirt in a predominantly republican area and did the same thing. The outcome was that when he was wearing the Bush shirt, he was called obscene names and even spit on. When he was wearing the Gore shirt, he was pretty much ignored just as if he was wearing a plain old t-shirt. It is really disgusting to me. When Clinton won, we didn't go around spitting on democratic supporters because we lost, we just shut up.

This brings up something else that pisses me off. During the last election Bush supporters in Oak Park (AKA - the Republic of Oak Park) were being vandalized for showing support and having Bush signs in their front yard. People (assuming Democrats) were stealing the signs from yards, spray painting on them and even setting them on fire. I'm sorry, but that is so childish. Grow the fuck up.

Okay, so I have gone on long enough and I will stop. My blood pressure is going up and I think I need a drink.

Moral of my story...be polite when opposed kindly it makes you look like less of an ass. And if your listening DNC, don't come ringing my bell!

Charm Much

Watch out ladies...my son's a charmer!

My New Tat

I went yesterday to get my 3rd tattoo - very exciting! I am really pleased with it. For those of you non-hip astrologers...it is my interpretation of the Pisces sign for Donovan. If your also wondering...that is the inside of my ankle...the outside of my ankle has the Leo sign. I am so glad that I don't want tattoos all over my body, since I find them highly addicting. I am so ready for another one! I love it!

Work Outings Can Be Fun

It's not that I wasn't expecting to have fun at a work function, but I really did have a fabulous time. Our plans were botched a little at the beginning because we weren't allowed to have a grill at the park, but it all worked out in the end. A lot of people showed up and I wasn't expecting them too, even if they did put their names on the sign-up sheet. Like Jeanette said, we had a ton of food. It didn't seem like we had a lot of planning on this and I wasn't sure how well it was going to turn out. The water balloons Maggie and I made were a hit. I think that everyone enjoyed themselves. Dononvan had fun - he missed his nap so bed time came early tonight! Whoo hoooo! I am also extremely tired after our softball tournament.

The Bloggers Lull

Does blogging run in some sort of cycle that I don't know about. Sometimes there are so many blogs to read, a new one everyday - but lately no one has been blogging...at all! I know some people have valid excuses...but come on people - I want to read a blog! I know that I have also been a culprit in the blogging lull, but I am trying to be better - I blame it on writers block...and Donovan!

Book Sale Bonanza!

Yesterday was the Oak Park Annual Book Sale, which I attended with Sarah, Ashley and Jeanette. We all met up and went to dinner at Fuego Loco on Lake St. Pretty good, I enjoyed the food...didn't enjoy the bathroom with the broken lock!

The book sale is crazy. We arrived about 20 minutes after in opened and everything already looked picked through. The children's book section was in boxes on the floor in no order what-so-ever. People were actually sitting in front of boxes and scooting across the floor. Others found it necessary to bring their children under the age of 5 to look through and pick out some books for themselves...always a great idea. What really frosted my cookies is the people who were reading the kids books on the floor in the middle of the isle with their 2 or 3 year old trying to decide if they like it or not....THE BOOKS ARE 50 FUCKING CENTS - BUY IT AND DECIDE LATER!!! I really didn't feel like the book sale was the best place for children. It was incredibly dusty and very crowded - the last place I would want my son to be running around with a bunch of sweaty crazy people.

My fav part of the day was the Sci-Fi section and finding gold (AKA - Graphic Novel). Don wanted me to score him some graphic novels at the sale, which I did! Jeanette and I decided to take a browse through and low and behold, we found one. I was just about dry humped for it...but I came out on top. I could have scored some digits and a coffee date, but decided against it - one nerdy baby daddy is enough for me (at least Don wears deodorant and showers).

I really really enjoyed myself, I was expecting to get really agitated and become aggressive, but I think I was able to reign myself in and stay cool, calm and collected - although if I would have spent more time browsing the children's books, I'm sure I would have lost it! My only recommendation for next year...require people to put on deodorant before entering and have hand-sanitizer available after check-out.

# 101

I have officially posted 100 blogs!

And the best part is that my 100th blog was about Big Brother...what can be better!

I Can't Believe I Haven't Blogged About This Yet!

Kaysar and Janelle

The possible All-Stars (only 14 entered the house)

I was reading Beth's blog this morning and couldn't believe myself! The new Big Brother (Big Brother 7 - All Stars) started on July 6th and I haven't even blogged about it yet! Crazy I know, since the only reason I love summer is because of BB. I am a psycho fanatic and I LOVE IT!

I literally cry if I miss it, although that is very infrequent because I am crazy for BB! I have chewed my finger nails down to stumps already and we are only 2 weeks in. Last night I got heartburn and a stomach ache during the HOH competition (for those of you non-watchers...HOH is the Head Of Household competition, which is the power position in the house for that week. The HOH has the power to nominate 2 people for eviction) because BB6 is going to be in hot water if they don't stay on their winning streak. I was so relieved when James won - it was a close one between him and Danielle. After BB, Don and I have lengthy strategy discussions, mapping out what the next move should be or what we predict will happen if said move is made. Big Brother is my kryptonite - watch out Superman!

I am really torn about who I think should win this season.

Who I DON'T want to win: Chicken George (space filler), Diane (cry baby bitch), Mike Boogie (prick) and Will (evil genius).

I wouldn't be upset if the winner was: Jase(I actually like you this season), Erika (floater but not annoying), Danielle (mastermind) , Howie (Jedi master, but an idiot) or Kaysar (he frustrates me with some of his moves, but I still love him).

I would love for the winner to be: Janelle (hottest and smartest chica in BB history), James (awesome stragetist and physical powerhouse) or Marcellas (makes me laugh so hard..."herpes or the clap!").

During BB2 I was a HUGE Dr. Will fan, and now I am just so over him and his annoying shit side-kick Boogie. I HATE Mike Boogie - he is so fucking abnoxious. If he wins, I may have to quit Big Brother forever. Or not!

The only thing that I HATE about every Big Brother season is Julie Chan - just because she's banging the head of CBS doesn't mean that she's good enough to host the best damn reality TV show ever!

I would love to talk strategy (I have so many ideas) with other fans! But not on T/Th/Sun from 7-8pm - I'll be busy watching!

Visit www.cbs.com to keep up to date on new pics and extras!

Or Visit: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/bigbrother7/polls/ to VOTE NOW!

Finally!

I found out a few days ago that Mancow is leaving Q101 and his morning show Mancow's Morning Madhouse is going off the air.

I cannot express how excited and happy I am about this. I HATE Mancow with every fiber of my being. He is such a pretencious hypocritical prick and every word that spews from that fuck stick's mouth makes me sick. I hear his voice and I want to shove pencils in my ears! I FUCKING HATE HIM! I haven't had much good news lately, so this just makes my damn week!

Fuck off and die Mancow!

Superman Didn't Suck

Don and I saw Superman last night and it didn't suck. I wasn't expecting to hate it...but I definately wasn't expecting to love it. I am not a huge fan of comic book movies, I could do without Spiderman, Hulk, and for sure Catwoman, but I love X-Men and now Superman. I actually cried (which for those of you who know me - this shouldn't suprise you - coming from the girl who cried when I was 5 in The Wizard of Oz when the wicked witch melted) but seriously...I loved it! I would recommend it to everyone, even if you don't dig the whole comic book superhero thing.

P.S. I even changed my signature pink font to red - just for the "man"!

Get Me Some Of That!

Painting Pot

Jeanette, Sarah, Audrea and I went on our last outing as a foursome yesterday since A is moving. I am kind of sad because I really enjoy Audrea's company.

We started our day out with some T.G.I.Fridays...always a good choice. Fridays has new glasses that you can purchase...real exciting shit rigth there! The only problem is the the rim of one of the glasses looks like shit, so who would buy that. I don't know about everyone else, but the last thing I want to do is drink a cocktail out of a glass that looks like it was dipped in shit.

After that we went to the place where you paint shit...no you don't actually decorate poop, you paint pottery. I don't know the name, I think it is something like The Pot You Paint? Well, I got to finger Buddha so that was exciting. Of course mine didn't turn out how I wanted it too. I am always so dissappointed in my imperfection of my pottery. High expectations are never met with my artistic abilities.

Next, we went to Coldstone and ate some delicious ice cream concoctions. I had cheesecake ice cream with black cherries and snickers mixed in! Fucking fantastic!

I then was called a "silly bitch" by the local bum and then we called it a day!

I had so much fun with my girls! Wish Audrea wasn't moving away!

Monkey See - Monkey Do

I feel like I am a really good mom - yes, I do need to preface with that, but I am now learning that Donovan really is in the mimic stage...the hard way. It is really fun to make noises and have him repeat them back, to give him directions and have him follow them and to show him how to do something and have him do it himself, but there is just one thing that I wish we didn't show him...

On Sunday I was putting away clothes on our bed when Don walked up behind me and bent me over (don't worry this is very PG) and pulled down my pants and slapped my ass. Donovan was helping me put away the clothes so he witnessed this and thought that it was real funny - he was laughing pretty hard. So now every time I bend over, Donovan tries to pull down my pants and spank me! The other night when I was picking his toys out of the bathtub, he pulled down my pants and gave me a few quick, but swift spanks. He did it today when I was making him dinner. The whole time he looks at me with that devil grin and smiles. He knows he is doing something kind of bad - he knows that hitting isn't a good thing to do...even though he tries it sometimes. It doesn't help when Don and I are both laughing so hard we snort to teach him not to pull down mamma's pants and spank her. Hopefully he will just forget and won't see that again. Now we know...don't do dirty things in front of a mimic.

History Of The F Word

History of the F Word

My favorite internet video clip!

Damn...I Haven't Blogged Since May!

I didn't think that I was actually too busy to blog lately, but I guess I was wrong. Work has been sucking balls lately...those of you who work with me know why!

My grandpa from Florida was up this past week visiting. I kind of feel left out from the family since I wasn't invited to anything that the rest of them did with my grandpa. I only saw him like 3 times and that was with Donovan so, of course, he stole the spotlight. My grandpa, mom and dad went to spread my grandma's ashes on Friday. I would have liked to go with since we didn't have any kind of "formal" goodbye for my grandma. She was cremated...Obviously...otherwise we wouldn't be spreading ashes and there was no service or funeral type thing for us to attend as a family. I really miss my grandma, but I have a hard time realizing that she is actually gone. With no funeral or service for her, it doesn't really seem like she's gone. I know that this is how she wanted it to be, but it just hasn't sunk in yet - I guess I am a little slow since she died in January.

Okay, enough of that...

Don's mom also came for a visit from Florida. She was in for a week and spent a few days with Don and Donovan. They got to go to the Field Museum and the DuPage Children's Museum, all the while...I worked! We went to a restaurant in the city named Twin Anchors on Saturday night for Don's brother's graduation dinner. It was good place...not for a 15 month old...but a fun idea. It was more of a bar than a restaurant. They wouldn't take reservations and wouldn't sit the table until the whole party was there. We had to wait over 40 minutes for our table and to get to the table, we had to walk through a very crowded bar (Saturday night on the northside) - so that was so much fun. The food was good...but not worth all the hassle. Maybe if we had left Donovan at home we would have had more fun.

So to re-cap the last few weeks of my life...I have felt very left out!

Yo Mama!

Your Mommy Is Angelina Jolie

What You Call Her: Old Lady What people say about yo momma: Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!

Who's" Your Mommy?

Yum....Coffee

You Are an Iced Coffee

At your best, you are: hyper, modern, and athletic At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty You drink coffee when: you're out with friends Your caffeine addiction level: medium

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

X-Men 3 Is A Must See!

You Are Wolverine

Small but fierce, you're a great fighter.Watch out! You are often you're own greatest enemy. Powers: Adamantium claws, keen senses, the ability to heal quickly

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Don and I saw this movie today and it rocked it hard! It was so much better than the 1st two. I would totally recommed it - even if your not really a fan of that genre!

I'm In Love With A Stripper

Your Stripper Song Is

Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard "Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on Livin' like a lover with a radar phone Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp Demolition woman, can I be your man?" Break out the baby oil, you rock it old school.

What Song Should You Strip To?

Sarah's So Smart!

Congratulations Sarah! You are officially smarter than Jeanette and I.

Sarah's graduation party was so nice! The way Sarah and her sister Noemi are together reminded me of the way me and my sisters are. I am so glad that I am the oldest, you get to pick on the little ones!

Excellent BBQ was served and I got to hold AAA for a while. She is so tiny, I miss Donovan being that small and so holdable. They grow up so fast!

Oh, by the way Sarah, I would totally date you! I will let Jeanette do you though!

The Anatomy Expert

Donovan knows a lot for his age (yes, he is the smartest 14 month old) and never ceases to amaze me. We are teaching him lots of fun things like body parts. He knows head, hands, nose (sometimes), belly button (his favorite) and my personal favorite...nipples! He proudly pulls up his shirt and points right to his little nipples. I love that boy, he's a charmer!

Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba - Cock-Su-Su-Suckie

Happy Birthday Ashley! The big 30...how exciting!

Jeanette, Sarah and I were lucky enough to be invited to Ashley's surprise birthday party at the fun and exciting Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba for a night of good friends and great tapas! We strolled into the really well decorated restaurant and found our party right away. Then we all ordered an array of tapas for the whole table to share, we drank sangria merrily as we made new friends and went home full and happy!

That would have been a nice evening!

Now what really happened...

Jeanette, Sarah and I were reluctantly invited to Ashley's surprise birthday party at the dirty and expensive Cafe Ba-Ba-Reeba for a night of being ignored and treated like outsiders! We strolled into the under decorated restaurant and proceeded into the wrong party room, where we were so nicely greeted by a fugly bitch, "I DON'T THINK YOU BELONG HERE!!!" No shit Sherlock...we definitely don't belong with some stuck-up fat fucking bitch that couldn't find her g-spot if it bit her on her clit. Or so we thought...it ended up that our party was full of some stuck-up bitches, that probably don't even know what a g-spot is. Our gift for Ashley was obviously not appropriate for dinner (pornogamy), according to the evil looks and disgusted glances...but most of them probably lay in bed like stiffs while their husbands/boyfriends poke them with their little dicks (otherwise known as the, "I am too good for fucking...we only make love!" kind of people), so if they don't like our gift, oh well, it wasn't for them anyway! The three of us got to sit at one corner of the table (me in the middle for maximum footsy play with both my girls) next to the rat shit in the corner (very appealing by the way). We didn't want to split the check with the high rollers so we ordered on our own tab. The three of us split: garlic potatoes (about 2 hunks of potato each), meatballs (about 1 and 1/3 meatball each) and five bite-sized desserts (about 2 bites of each). The desserts were pretty good - the best part of the meal (that may be because we played our new game, speed-eat, with them). We tried to be nice and cordial with everyone at the table, however; they didn't seem much interested in getting to know us...I figured that out when we sat down at the table, but it became abundantly clear when the man-bitch completely turned his back to Jeanette and the she-male next to Sarah kept rolling her eyes every time Sarah got a little too close or too loud. My favorite thing was using the employee bathroom because I followed the dumb ass hostess directions to the can...Completely passing up the guest bathroom. The employee bathroom was disgusting (no wonder they have rat shit in the corners) as the toilet was crooked and you had to sit on the stall wall to go! I didn't exactly dislike the experience...Jeanette and Sarah are a blast to hang out with...but being insulted when Ashley's friends wouldn't take our money to help pay for Ashley's dinner...was a wee bit over my tolerance line!

All in all, I had a good time with my two favorite gal pals (the ride home with Ashley was much better than taking the L...thanks Scooter!) and would gladly do it again!

P.S. The valet parking dude grabbing his junk as he walked away from the car, also made it worth all the shunning!

The Bimbo at the Emission Test Office

So, I had to get my car's emissions test done last week, that was fun! For whatever reason I turn into this complete fumbling bimbo any time I am somewhere about my car (repair shop, Jiffy Lube, emission test facilities, etc). I was really nervous because I received a nice letter in the mail from Mr. Jesse White, who was going to suspend my drivers license and vehicle registration if I failed to comply. This was necessary that I passed. I failed the test two years ago because of some piece of shit CO2 censor not working right...$350.00 later...I passed. I didn't have that luxury this time...I needed to pass. I pull up to the place (new location...the fuckers at Hillside closed) and got stuck behind some complete moron who was driving about 1/2 miles an hour. I sped around him cursing obscenities that are not appropriate to repeat...not thinking that I was at a government place and perhaps getting road rage was not a good thing to show them righ now. I pulled into my testing lane (pink warning slip in hand) and didn't even have to wait. The big black guy came up to the car (I peed in my pants already because of nerves) and he asked, "Ha much mals yo gots on dis?" I replied, "None of the lights on my ODB are on!" He said, "No, how many mals yo gots?" I replied, "I drove for about an hour before I pulled in!" He asked one more time, this time find of annoyed, "NO, MALS! HOW MANY MALS YOU GOT???" I thought for a second...."OH, MILES! I didn't know what you were talking about, I thought you said MALS...as in malfunctions!" apparently I do have a few malfunctions...in my brain! He laughed and called the other guy over to make fun of me...made me feel real comfortable...ASSHOLE! After the two men were finished ripping me a new one, the black guy said, "Drive down the lane to the end and stop!" I, wanting to clarify, since I failed my last comprehension test, asked, "ALL the way to the end...like right behind the car?" The Latino man interjected, "Yes, run right into the back of the other car!" I laughed a dumbass laugh and drove off! After I got there...the bimbo didn't stop...I passed the test, but not without making a fool of myself again!

Thank God I passed!

National Condom Week

1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP

2. BEFORE U ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER

3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY

4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT

5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER

6. YOU CANT GO WRONG, IF U SHIELD YOUR DONG

7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT.

8. IF U THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY

9. IF U SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE

10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF U WRAP YOUR PETER

11. SHE WONT GET SICK IF U WRAP YOUR DICK

12. IF U GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT

13. WHLE YR UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS

14. WHEN U TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE

15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER

16. NEVER,NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER

17. DONT BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL

18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION

19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL

20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER

21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!

Cinco De Mayo - AKA - May 5th - AKA - Sarah's B-Day!

Sarah's one lucky girl for being born on such a fun day! She's so infused in the Latino culture (being born on Cinco De Mayo and dating/screwing a Mexican (he he he...me too - not the born on the 5th thing...the screwing thing)! Joshue made some awesome food, enchiladas with chicken and chorizo, fantastic rice, and beans! Jeanette helped by grating some cheese...she probably didn't help...just made a mess...but we like to make her feel important, so we tell her that she helped! We had a ton of appetizers too...I brought some guacamole (ala Chipotle) and Haley brought a layered dip with chips...very festive! Ashley and Jeanette brought the booze (no surprise there). Sarah's roommates made some traditional drinks (margaritas and daiquiris)...yum! It was a grand ole time at Sarah's pad, which I love and am jealous of! Her cat is super cute too! I agree with Jeanette that the best part of the evening was Sarah opening her presents! I hope she had some fun this weekend! Wink Wink Wink!!!

Now I Remember...

Now I know why I quit blogging for about a month...NO ONE READS OR COMMENTS ON MY BLOG ANYMORE! If there are any lurkers (thanks for the new vocab word Beth) that are reading my blog...please feel free to comment, it would make me feel alot better!

Crossing Guard Hell

After my incident with the Circle and Jackson crossing guard, I have been slightly hesitant to head down that way...however, that is not possible since I live 2 blocks away and that is the quickest and most direct route home. Yesterday morning, after I picked up Jeanette, we headed to work taking our usual route (passing the crossing guard from HELL!). When we got to the intersection and almost came to a complete stop, she waved happily (mockingly) at us from across the street and gave us the biggest smile (evil grin) possible. I am so glad that we can get along after all the other stuff that happened. I know she is just trying to be a big bitch by acting all friendly and buddy-buddy...but really...I wanted there to be more heat there...more anger and resentment...I just love stand offs!!!

Now Hiring - Crossing Guard - Must Be A Beast

Is it a requirement that crossing guards have to be beastly??? They do in fact insure that children cross the street safely (or at least they try), so shouldn't they at least be a little bit nice and friendly? I have now had two incidences with crossing guards in the past month. Now, I know you are thinking that I must be a sucky driver, but I don't think that is the problem...I think it is the sucky crossing guards.

The first incident (not that serious) was a few weeks ago while I was on my way to the bank to make a deposit for work. I take the same route every week so I see the same crossing guards at the same corners. So, I get to 31st and 17th - I am going to be making a right hand turn onto 31st from 17th - and there is a group of children waiting to be crossed across 31st. The light turns green - I wait since there are children ready to be crossed - but the crossing guard is just standing there talking on her cell phone. So, I concluded that they must be waiting for the next light so they can cross 17th instead. I cautiously start to turn...when the beast...I mean crossing guard holds up her sign and yells at me that "You need to STOP!!!" I was a little annoyed at her since she should have gotten off her cell phone and crossed the children immediately when the light turned...instead of waiting till she completely inconvenienced me and everyone behind me waiting to go. I wasn't that upset (since this was the 1st incident with incompetent crossing guards), I simply gave her the bird (along with my best "I am going to kill you!" look) and went on my way.

The second incident (today on my way to work...was a little more serious). I was traveling down Circle and came to the Jackson 4-way stop, there is always a lot of kids around because there are about 3 schools in a five block vicinity, so I am always very cautious. I also know that the crossing guard positioned at this stop sign is a fucking idiot (due to the fact that I have seen almost a dozen children get run down). I was going straight on Circle (making my way to Starbucks) when I came to a complete stop, it was my turn, there were no children anywhere close to the "ready to cross position" and I began to go. The crossing guard (on the opposite side of the street from me) came bounding into the street with her STOP sign gleaming yelling at me to "STOP"! I stopped so now my car was completely blocking the cross walk. The two kids that were "ready" to cross were still a good 25 feet from the intersection. I stayed in the stop position since her sign was still out and she was yelling "Go! GO! GO!!!" I thought she was yelling at the kids, because she was standing in the middle of the intersection with her stupid sign up, so I waited, after all, I didn't want to be arrested for manslaughter after mowing her lazy ass down...since she was in the middle of the fucking intersection! She continued to yell - by now the children had reached the crossing position and were ready to be crossed. I was thinking well isn't this dandy the fucking kids are going to have to walk around my car to cross the street, if she would have just let me go 2 minutes ago...we wouldn't have this problem. She is now holding up traffic (that intersection gets quite congested early in the morning) and people are starting to boil. She then looks dead at me and yells, "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND GO!" That was it! Manslaughter charges or not...I was going to run the bitch down! See ya'll later...come visit me in prison...bitch was going to die! I made sure that the kids were still safely on the sidewalk and drove up to her, stopped the car next to her (yes, in the middle of the intersection), and told her (politely) that, "I am going to shove that STOP sign so far up your fat fucking ass that you will wish you for death...cunt bitch!" Yes, I know, I used the nasty "C" word again....I hate that word...however, it is so vulgar that she won't forget me and my aqua blue car! What can I say...I didn't have my Starbucks yet!

When I got to Starbucks, all my killing anxiety has boiled up in the last three blocks and I am now a fricking maniac. I walk in and I am greeted by welcoming, kind faces that make it all okay. I get my drink and I am off to a fun and exciting day at work!

Brittany Spears Sucks!

Recently Brittany Spears beloved son, Sean Preston, fractured his skull, either by falling out of a high chair or because she dropped him (since the tabloids are so willy nilly I am not sure what really happened). I was thinking about what a bad mother and role model she was. How could that happen...a fractured skull...that is serious! If he did fall out of the high chair (which if used correctly is almost impossible for infants to "fall" out of) then Brittany is a moron and doesn't know how to use the restraint system or if Sean Preston was plain old dropped...then Brittany is also a moron. Accidents happen and kids are going to get boo boos, but a fractured skull...come on!

Yesterday, Donovan fell flat on his face when he lunged toward daddy and missed so he fell right through Don's legs and smacked hard on the floor. His new adorable teeth became like a samurai sword and sliced a nice gash between his upper lip and gums. There was some blood...freaked me out, but the little trooper only cried for about 20 seconds and went on to playing like nothing happened. After I called the doctor and my mom, we decided that he was fine and didn't need any emergency medical care (the bleeding stopped almost instantly, he was giggling and playing like normal and sucking on that binky like no one's business). About 15 minutes later, Don and I were still assessing the damage as Donovan got more and more annoyed with his worry wart parents, when he (in a fit of aggravation) slammed his head into my hand. This sounds fairly harmless, if I weren't holding a squeeze tub of Baby Oral Gel. The rounded side managed to be the exact spot that met with the corner of his eye. Donovan is now sporting a black eye! Quite cute however, makes me wonder what the other guy looks like!

So all this has me thinking...Am I a bad mother like Brittany?!? I don't really think so but, I know accidents happen so maybe I should cut Brit some slack.

Cherry Cobbler

We finally decided on a paint color for our living room - Cherry Cobbler. Not the most becoming color name, but we are picking based on actual color...not color names. However, if it was up to me we would be choosing based on color names (my choices included Red Red Wine, Velvety Merlot, Luscious, and Cranberry Zing). Good thing I didn't get my way because those colors would have looked just awful on my walls.

I Know Why I Don't Have Sympathy For The Mentally Challenged!

Now lets not get our panties in a twist because I seem to be mean or unsympathetic to the retarded population, but let me tell you some things that might help explain. I live on a really great street, mostly old folks and a few younger families. I know the majority of my neighbors and can have a quick and polite conversation without annoying me or inconveniencing me in any way.

The neighbors to my south have three foster children (all mentally challenged). I know they are foster children because the adults are black and the kids are white (Children of the Corn - WHITE)! The boy (name unknown) likes to play baseball and football with himself. It is actually quite amusing. Hut hut hut....HIIIIIKKEEEE! Run boy run! TOUCHDOWN! And the winner is.....big surprise....the boy's team...or the boy I mean, since team would indicate more than 1. I actually rather enjoy the boy, he is quiet, clean, cordial, nice and keeps to himself. He never steps foot on our lawn, never throws his balls in our yard, has yet to break a window and is not that scared of our ferocious beagles as they bound down the stairs for potty.

The two girls....are another story.

Crystal and Linda drive me absolutely insane. The common gangway we share is also known as the echo tunnel. They find it necessary to scream at each other, "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
NNNNNNNNNNNNN
DDDDDDDDDDDDDD
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Now imagine that echo in your best retard voice...makes it so much worse. My favorite thing about my Children of the Corn neighbors is that they like to play beauty pageant and runway show. Now they are not the most striking girls I have seen, and they could stand to loose 20 - 30 pounds (not that I am one to talk...but I don't play beauty pageant). Their signature walk leaves much to be desired and their running commentary and line of questions for the "intelligence" portion is very entertaining. I use to feel bad that I laughed at them and that I purposefully let the ferocious beagles "attack" them (the dogs are actually afraid of them now...they do not look normal...they don't look retarded either, but there is enough evidence to support my retard label).

Now to why I have no sympathy...

Their bedroom window is across the echo tunnel from ours. They NEVER sleep (I am not exaggerating - they NEVER sleep). They like to sing to popular hits such as Brittany Spears, Kelly Clarkson (they have ruined her for me), Sean Paul, Usher, Nick Cannon, Pink, Ciara, Beyonce, and other female and male vocalists that like high notes. Needless to say, at 1 in the morning listening to the Children of the Corn belt out, "Hit Me Baby One More Time" in their best Speddy Eddy voices leaves me angry and unsympathetic to the mentally challenged cause. I know I should blame the foster family for not making them keep the noise level down or putting them in cages so they sleep, but somehow, its the girls that take the brunt of my anger. They are harmless and all around good girls, but I cannot take another summer of the singing.

As I look back at what I have wrote, I am starting to feel a little bad because that was harsh...but then again...they should realize that people sleep at 1 am and that their singing does not produce relaxing lullabies.

Wow...She's Hot!

Has J'Lo been eating her perfume lately...because damn...she looks nasty! I know she has got to have enough money for a bra for those squishy's! And please...stop grabbing your non-existent frank and beans!

Remodeling Sucks

So Don and I decided to take on a project bigger than we had time for. We bought all new furniture and it won't be delivered until May 4th so we decided to paint the living and dining room. Well, there was some ancient ass wallpaper that needed to be ripped down, not so bad. Then there is all the wallpaper glue removal that needs to take place...pain in the ass. We started this weekend, but it is going to take a few days. Then we have to spackel, prime and then paint. I know I will love it when its finished...but right now I just want to move.

Proof Once Again

Once more I prove to everyone that Donovan is the cutest baby in the world!

Nice Way Of Saying I Suck At Math!

I took an IQ test and these are my results...

Your Intellectual Type is Word Warrior. This means you have exceptional verbal skills. You can easily make sense of complex issues and take an unusually creative approach to solving problems. Your strengths also make you a visionary. Even without trying you're able to come up with lots of new and creative ideas. And that's just a small part of what we know about you from your test results.

What the test results are saying, in a very nice way, is that I am a complete retard when it comes to Math.

Here's the link if your interested...

The Classic IQ Test
http://web.tickle.com/invite?test=3001&type=t

My Trip To Satan's Asshole!

Yesterday Don and I took a trip to Satan's Asshole...otherwise known as the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV). It was not as I expected...I didn't have any outbursts at the morons that call themselves employees or at the retarded people standing in line...and I wasn't banned! How eventful! I dediced it might be best if I waited in the car while Don took care of his business...no he didn't have to use it...he needed to renew his license, which he did...scored 100% on the writtn portion and wasn't even required to take the driving portion. Good news for the DMV and me!

Hi Cheese!

Hi Cheese...this is Jeanette!

It's Spring Cleaning Time Again!

I'm so excited...and I just can't hide it! With the weather perking up in full gear for Spring...I find myself peeing my pants with excitement and thrill because I know that this week I get to do my Spring cleaning. I love cleaning anytime and don't really need an excuse, but the Spring season especially excites me because it is time to purge the back porch. My back porch becomes the bottomless pit for storage and trash. I have bags of baby clothes, Donovan's miscellaneous outgrown apparatuses, air conditioners, tables, recyclables that never made it to the bin and many other things that made themselves a cold home on the back porch for the winter. Last time I purged the porch, my neighbor and I had a slight altercation - she made some comments and I heard them...we had a few words, needless to say, we don't have the friendly neighborly courtesies anymore, just evil stares and annoyed mumbles. So I can't wait to start the purging! Let the cleaning begin!

Donovan's Special Birthday Guest!

Now don't get me wrong...I do like costumes at Halloween, but when one of Donovan's birthday guests came (I mean changed) as Spiderman, we were all alittle shocked. This little GIRL is 7 and her parents think it is okay for her to come to someones very special day and change into THIS!!! Hello, leave the fucking costume at home next time.

My Cute Little Boy!

I know everyone is sick of hearing me talk about how cute Donovan is, and how he is the cutest baby in the world...but he is and here are some pictures to prove it!

Why Can't Everyone Be Like Jeanette and I

Do I have to light an atomic bomb under the world's ass??? It seems like no one is as competent as Jeanette and myself (I am not trying to boost my self-confidence and give myself a pat on the back here). The questions that I was asked today at work, blew my mind. Also, the amount of gaul some teachers had made it hard to not spit in their pompous faces. The hopher asked me to do the impossible, and after an explanation of why this feat was not going to be feasible, she wanted me to do it anyway. Just need to vent!

My Favorite Directors!

I stumbled upon this picture today...thought it might be funny!

Is It Wrong To Just Want Lettuce?

I was at the grocery store the other day looking at the plethora of bagged lettuce. The selection was a little overwhelming and I didn't know if I wanted Caesar, Mediterranean, Spinach, Iceberg, Classic, Italian, Romaine or one of the seventy other choices. I was getting a little pissed because I wanted just lettuce. As Don approached me, he asked, "what's wrong?" I replied, "God, I want a bag of JUST LETTUCE!" Right then, I looked down at the bottom row and saw a nice green bag that made me feel a little bit like I was in heaven...it said, "Just Lettuce." What are the chances that my prayers were answered at that exact moment! I hadn't even been nice about the prayer...it was more of a demand really, but whatever, it worked. I think I might keep trying this asking God for stuff stunt..."God, I really want a new car!" Well, I gave it a minute and nothing has happended, so I am assuming the I used up the one wish like prayer on JUST LETTUCE! FUCK!

Wow How Time Flies

So it has been almost two months since my last blog...I feel kind of guilty not keeping up with things.

My life has been very busy lately. Lots of work fun, it is busy season at Sylvan. We have tests up the ass every single Saturday and no room for comfortable testing environments for the kids. Our lovely and dedicated (HaHa) teachers have been pulling some irresponsible crap. The damn directors keep enrolling kids so it just makes for a really profitable nightmare.

Donovan just had his 1st Birthday on March 10th, so I was planning not one, but two birthday parites for him. I couldn't believe how stressed out I was about Donovan turning one. I credit myself with being a pretty laid back type of person that doesn't let things get to me and stress me, but the 1 year mark took its toll. Donovan got so much fun stuff for his birthday...the little spoiled brat!

Donovan has RSV, which is a viral respitory infection and an ear infection. The poor thing is miserable, I guess all that partying took its toll on his immune system. He has to do an inhalation treatment through a nebulizer four times and day...and he hates it! The mask is a cute little dinosaur that does nothing to soothe the scary sounds.

So, I am going to rededicate myself to blogging again!

I Am Really Slacking

I realize that I have been a very bad blogger lately! I haven't blogged in some time. I do have an excuse though...my computer crashed and I had to wait for the new hard drive to be installed. That was a very frustrating event - we lost all of our pictures and everything that we had on our computer. I was very upset about this whole situation because Donovan's 1st year pictures are all gone! We took the computer to a recovery specialist at Circuit City...with no luck. The good thing about the Kodak online photo albums is that I can order a disc with all my pictures of Donovan and we can once again have them. The only catch is that the pictures that were once free for us to enjoy...are now going to cost over $40.00 to buy. It is totally worth it since they are Donovan's pictures, but it just kind of sucks that we now have to pay to have our pictures back! I know it sounds dumb, but I am allowed to feel annoyed.

It's Been Awhile

I feel like I haven't blogged in such a long time. Christmas and New Year's have past without any sort of commentary from me - weird. So let me catch you all up...

Christmas was extremely busy and exhausting. Donovan got so much stuff that we had to buy a huge rubber container to store all his toys so that I didn't go crazy looking at them everywhere. Visiting family is so tiring with a baby. Everybody wants to hold him, everybody wants to see him, everybody wants to talk about when their kids were this little - I am not interested by the way! I am glad that it is over and that we can all get back to a normal schedule. The food the past few weeks has been phenomenal, so I can't really complain.

It was Don and I's 8 year anniversary on Dec. 30th so we got to go out on a date to Fridays. That was a lot of fun. We do actually go out together often, but usually it is to the grocery store or to Target, so going out and eating and drinking together was a lot of fun. You always have fun at Fridays. I am sort of sad that I didn't receive any pottery gifts this year for our anniversary.

New Year's Eve was another day. Nothing exciting, it usually ends up being a boring night. Couldn't really do anything because of Donovan's bedtime and feeding schedule and all. My mom made the most fantastic appetizer though (potato skins, shrimp cocktail, spinach dip, chili dip, veggies and dip, horseradish dip, brownies, rice crispies treats - that's a whole lot of dips...but they were good). I don't usually expect anything super exciting for New Year's Eve anyway, it is hyped up too much and really isn't that big of a deal to me.

New Year's Day we went to my Aunt's house in Mundelien for brunch. She always has fantastic brunch - it is well worth the long car ride. She made a breakfast casserole with ham, potatoes, cheese and eggs and she also made a blueberry French toast casserole that was delicious. We had the standard brunch issue foods; bagels and cream cheese, shrimp, loch, pasta salad, several kinds of breads (poppyseed, banana and cranberry), quiche (spinach and cheese and bacon and cheese), all sorts of cakes and cookies and of course mimosas. Well, I am getting kind of hungry talking about all this food. We got to play our annual "Hide the Pickel" game! Sounds like more fun than it actually is though.

Sounds like I spent my holidays eating and eating and eating (almost forgot all the awesome baked goods provided by Frances Anna at work - rum balls and jello weird things that tasted like heaven). That's what the holidays are about...good food and family! I hope everyone else had a good time and ate lots of good food!